


There Are No Stars Left in the City

by Kunstpause



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Confident Cullen Rutherford, F/M, Morally Ambiguous Character, Porn With Plot, Romance, Smut, Two Endings, highly questionable life choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:01:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 72,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25450561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunstpause/pseuds/Kunstpause
Summary: Cassia Hawke never quite knew just what she wanted in life. When she unknowingly falls for someone who is the worst possible option in everyone else's eyes, finding out what she really wants doesn't get easier. Or does it?
Relationships: Female Hawke/Cullen Rutherford
Comments: 59
Kudos: 32





	1. Turn The Light On

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Hands of Fate Are Your Own](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19359295) by [Elveny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elveny/pseuds/Elveny), [Kunstpause](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunstpause/pseuds/Kunstpause). 



> I originally started posting the story a year ago but after a longer break it felt like it needed a rework. So here is the re-written version. It's finished and will update once a week.
> 
> A huge thank you to my wonderful beta [CuriousThimble](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousThimble) and the bestest friend, my main enabler [Elveny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elveny) ❤

From the moment Cassia had moved here, Kirkwall had come with a set of expectations. On the outside, it looked like every other city. A little bit smaller than the last city she had lived in but not by much. For Cassia, it still felt too large, too full of people, and most of all, it felt terribly busy. With her reason for being here in the first place, Cassia had expected the city to feel more foreboding, downright sinister even. But her expectations had not been met. Instead, everything about Kirkwall felt almost painfully normal. To the point of not being interesting at all. It was almost a bit disappointing if she thought about it. A deliberation she wasn’t too proud of or entirely comfortable with. Who in their right mind hoped for more things being wrong just so they wouldn’t be quite as bored after all?

Cassia apparently did, much to her shame, but Kirkwall simply wouldn’t oblige. No matter what time she was outside, there were always too many people around. More often than not, she opted to spend her time on her own or, if she had to be with other people, at least with only a selected few from her work. Unlike her twin sister Adriene, Cassia wasn’t a very outgoing person, and also unlike her sister, she hadn’t come to Kirkwall with a clear set of goals. Sure, her job set those for her, but opposed to Adriene, she had little personal investment in their cases. She was here because her sister was. Because their skill sets complemented each other.

Their parents had kept joking about how they really were two different sides of a coin. Adriene was always looking for a goal to reach, an adventure to take on. Meanwhile, Cassia rarely found anything that caught her interest enough to actually get invested in. She stayed her nights at home, reading about other people’s adventures while her sister went out having them instead.

But they nonetheless stuck together through everything. When Cassia had decided to go into data analysis for a career choice, Adriene had only shaken her head, not really understanding how her sister could stand to work with datasets all day without going insane from boredom. But she had packed her bags, applied to the same university as her twin, and found her passion in the more active field of criminology. 

Later, when Adriene had been so outstanding in her courses that the Agency had taken an interest in her, it had been Cassia who could not understand how her sister could be so excited about the prospect of working for a secret government organization. But when the offer was extended to her, she followed her sister regardless. Despite their very different training and interests, they had ended on the same team. Adriene had quickly worked her way through the ranks through her impressive problem-solving skills while Cassia had made a name for herself with her keen eye and her ability to see connections and patterns others missed.

And now they were here, in Kirkwall. A brand-new mission with what seemed more and more like an almost impossible task. Organized crime had been a problem in every city they had ever worked in. Sometimes one they got to solve, other times one they had to work around. But with no other mission, it had been so deeply entrenched into the very fabric of the city and its society than it was in Kirkwall. The syndicate simply named ‘The Order’ was everywhere one looked. It was an old organization from what Cassia’s research had turned up. Centuries old. Once a simple crime family, it had grown in size and influence, gone through several names and restructures. They had been called a guild, masons, templars, and many other names, but none of them could appropriately describe what the Order really was. In a way, Cassia thought, they were as much a part of the city as the walls of the city hall were. Cemented into the very foundation that was Kirkwall. 

It should have made the city gripping and interesting. Especially with Cassia, Adriene, and the small team they had specifically being there to uproot them. To get to the head. A challenge! When Cassia had first read their mission directive, she had thought their boss was having them on. Later, after some superficial research, she thought that it might be the perfect challenge Adriene had been looking for for a while already. Now, after several months of working this case and getting absolutely nowhere, even their team members who didn’t know their boss very well were convinced he hated one or maybe even all of them, and this was their punishment. A very boring punishment that led nowhere at all.

Kirkwall’s underworld was straight up impenetrable. There were no ins and connections they could use. The Order wasn’t recruiting and they weren’t looking for new partners. Most of the time, they were so well integrated into everyday life that it was hard to be certain whether they had actually found one of their operations. Not to mention even identifying the people that worked for them.

This particular afternoon, all of them were feeling just the slightest bit more positive than usual. Over the past two weeks, they had worked almost nonstop, gathering every little shred of information they had together, working with the local police, pooling their resources until they finally had something to go on. Adriene was out there, together with the police captain, trying to make an arrest based on what they had found. Hoping that they would get to someone with some more information at least, maybe even a bigger fish if they got lucky.

The communication channel was quiet, and Cassia was waiting, feeling the tension from the rest of their team permeate the entire room. She almost flinched when there was the sudden noise of static before she heard Adriene’s voice.

“Can you read me?” Adriene asked, and Cassia could feel the nervous energy of Merrill almost bouncing from her chair next to her. 

“We read you, come in!” the young woman answered, sounding giddy with excitement.

Another static noise, and then Adriene spoke again. “We got absolutely nothing, every location we hit was empty. A complete bust.”

There was a short moment of silence going through the room before everyone seemed to visibly deflate a bit. Sighs of disappointment and frustration filled the room.

“Crap,” Cassia murmured before she turned her own headset into Adriene’s frequency. “Are you coming home then?”

“No,” her sister answered, and by now, Cassia could hear the same frustration the entire team had bleed through her sister’s voice. “I’m going to wrap up here, and then I’ll go sparring with Aveline. I really need to punch something!”

“Understandable.” Cassia looked over the sad faces around her. “I’ll wrap up here for the night then, no use to keep at it. Debrief tomorrow morning?” 

“Copy that,” came Adriene’s short reply before she cut the connection.

With a sigh, Cassia pulled the headset off, carelessly throwing it onto her desk, all the positivity from earlier now completely gone.

“You heard the boss,” she said a bit louder, trying to smile encouragingly, but she knew she was definitely not doing a very good job on that. “Everyone, go home. Try to have a nice evening at least.”

Merrill snorted slightly next to her. “Seriously, anything we could do in our time off would probably be nicer than the mood in here lately…”

She said it with a smile, but Cassia could see that the constant disappointments were getting to her friend. Merrill was usually the most upbeat of all of them. Always seeing an upside, rarely ever getting upset. If the stress and frustration were getting to her, it was a sign that things were way past bad.

“I’m sorry,” Cassia said simply, putting an arm around her. “Maybe it’s time to contact someone in a higher office and have us pulled off this case.” It would look like a failure on their team’s resumé, but at some point, they would have to decide just how long they could reasonably fight against windmills.

Merrill shook her head. “No, we can’t! Adriene would be so mad about that, she has put so much into this!”

“We all have,” Cassia reminded her. “And Adriene has been saying the same thing to me a couple of days ago.” She could see Merrill’s eyes widen. 

“Really? Even Adriene thinks this is hopeless?” 

Cassia nodded solemnly. “She is getting there at least. But that’s all for tomorrow. Try to get some rest, alright?”

Merrill smiled brightly at her. “You too! Maybe even do something fun for a change?”

“I have plenty of fun, thank you!” Cassia murmured as she got her bag from underneath her desk. 

A pearl of laughter from Merrill rang through the by now almost empty office. “Yeah right. I mean normal people fun, like, I don’t know, going out for a drink! Dance somewhere or…” She seemed to think up more ideas. “Oh, watch a movie that is not a subtitled documentary?”

Cassia only shook her head. None of these options sounded particularly appealing to her. “Maybe one day, but I think for tonight, I’m just going home. Good night, Merrill!”

With a last wave at her friend, she stepped outside, the slightly cool evening air refreshing after a long day of being cooped up inside. She went along the way she usually took when she wanted to go home directly. It was later than she had thought, and the usual people who went shopping during the day had been replaced by the loud and drunk crowd of partying people who populated the various bars in the street. The thought of going home at the end of the day was usually a good one. Tonight, she felt something almost akin to dread, despite what she had said to Merrill. She knew exactly what she was going to do once she got home after all: obsess about every minor detail of their plans from the past two weeks, trying to find out just where they had gone wrong. It would be a long night, and Cassia sighed.

The bright neon lights of a bar blinked almost obnoxiously fast, pulling her out of her thoughts.  _ ‘Do something fun for a change!’ _ Merrill had said, and Cassia scoffed inwardly. Fun? In her experience, bars weren’t fun at all.

Then again, they had alcohol, and a couple of drinks paired with far too loud music would at least make it impossible to think about their botched mission all night. With an uncharacteristic surge of spontaneity, she turned and went straight for the entrance.

It wasn’t a bar after all, Cassia realized once she was inside inside. More of a club? There were people dancing everywhere, loud music blaring from the speakers, and colorful lights flickering through it all. For a moment, she almost turned around to leave again. Then again, clubs also had bars, and she had come here for a drink and some distraction, after all. 

Carefully, she made her way through the dancers, getting surprisingly lucky when she found a free bar stool to sit on as she ordered her drink. The atmosphere around her felt completely foreign. While observing the people on the dancefloor, she became acutely aware of the fact that she was absolutely not dressed for this place. Her casual blue pantsuit worked just fine in an office, but in a club like this, it was definitely out of place. Luckily, she had no inclination to dance. While she enjoyed the more classical dancing, the crowded floors in clubs always felt more intimidating than inviting.

Cassia took a sip of her drink, not even sure what exactly she had ordered. She had simply asked for something sweet and colorful. It was exactly what she had gotten, and Cassia smiled as she put the glass down again. Perhaps Merrill’s idea had some merit after all. 

When she took another look around, she noticed someone sitting not far from her shooting her looks. He hadn’t said anything to her, just looking, and Cassia didn’t pay him much attention. The things that happened around her were almost overwhelming. Couples dancing, friends obviously having a fun night out. In a corner, she could see two people having an argument, and she briefly wondered what it might be about. When she took up her drink again, the man suddenly seemed to sit a lot closer. Or had she just imagined that? He still hadn’t said anything, and Cassia tried to sneak some covert glances at him. Tall, muscular, what looked like a couple of days old beard, dressed in mostly leather, his dark hair gelled back. Objectively speaking, a decently attractive man, she thought, if not at all her type. 

She waved over the bartender to order another drink before turning her chair enough so she could watch the other side of the club. There was a second dance floor, just as crowded as the first one, and Cassia felt herself getting lost in watching the many different people dancing, fascinated by just how many different styles and movements seemed to work to the same kind of music. Maybe she really should take Merrill’s advice more often. And take Adriene along next time. Her sister would feel right at home here, and who knew, if she were with her, perhaps even Cassia would feel bold enough to try and dance. 

She turned back to the bar where her fresh drink already sat in front of her. It tasted even sweeter than the one before. Almost too sweet for her taste, but the barkeeper was busy with another order, and Cassia shrugged to herself. It wasn’t so urgent that she had to make a fuss about it after all. She could wait for him to have some more breathing room before she asked about it. She kept the glass in her hand as she got lost in watching the people around her again. 

A movement next to her took over her attention as the man she had watched earlier leaned towards her, looking like he was going to say something. She was still trying to interpret whether she liked the expression on his face when she found herself boxed in by the arm he had sneaked around her without her noticing. Just at that moment, Cassia felt a hand close around her own, gently grasping the glass in her hand. 

“Excuse me, Miss,” a smooth voice came from behind her while taking the drink out of her hand. “I have to advise you not to drink this.” 

Confused, Cassia turned around to look at the stranger who had just taken the drink from her and was now leaning slightly over the bar, pouring it out into one of the sinks. He was a good bit taller than her, around her age probably, and looking right at home in the setting of the club with his casual clothes. She was still unsure what exactly was happening when suddenly there were two people who looked like security next to the dark-haired man from earlier.

“We need you to come with us,” one of them said as they laid a hand on his shoulder.

“What is going on?” Cassia asked, getting up from her seat, not sure if she should be addressing the security guys or the man behind her who was stepping between her and the other man who looked visibly annoyed while being forcefully escorted out of the club.

“I am so sorry,” he said apologetically. “We caught this man on a security cam as he was putting something into your drink when you weren’t looking,” he explained, and Cassia’s eyes widened. It had been sweeter! What had she been drinking? Her slightly panicked look must have shown on her face.

“We are taking him off the premises and the police have been called,” he assured her. “Do you have someone you can call to pick you up? To make sure you get home safely?”

Cassia nodded, pulling out her phone to call her sister. “I am feeling fine though,” she mentioned while scrolling through her contacts. “It tasted a bit sweeter, but I think I only had one sip actually. And I don’t notice anything.”

“Better safe than sorry though,” the man said plainly. “If someone actively tries to spike your drink, you probably shouldn't go home on your own.”

He was definitely right about that. The phone was only ringing for a couple of times when it went straight to voicemail. Damn it. Adriene only ever turned her phone off when she was already asleep or too drunk to go anywhere. Without leaving a message, Cassia hung up again and called Merrill instead, but she seemed to have no luck there either. Voicemail again. But unlike Adriene, she knew Merrill regularly checked those and that it was very unlikely that her friend was already asleep. She left a short message explaining what had happened and where she was, asking her friend to call back as soon as possible. After she hung up, she let out a deep breath. It hit her just right then how close she had gotten to something that could have turned out really bad. 

“Fuck,” she cursed quietly before looking at the man who had prevented all that. “I don’t even know how to thank you.” 

“No need,” he smiled at her. “All part of the job, really.”

“You work in security for this thing?” she asked, gesturing around her, and he shook his head with a quiet laugh. 

“No, I manage  _ ‘this thing’, _ I was checking in with security just when it happened.” He looked her over before nodding at the barstool. “Maybe sit down again? You look a bit shaken. I can wait with you until your friend gets back to you,” he offered. 

Cassia shot him a grateful look as she sat down. “Again, thank you!”

He took the now empty barstool next to her and waved the bartender over, ordering a glass of water for her. “I’m Cullen, by the way,” he introduced himself.

“Cassia,” she answered with a smile and a polite, “Nice to meet you, even if it’s under very strange circumstances.”

He chuckled slightly at that before nodding. “The circumstances could be better, yes. So what brings you here all alone on a workday evening?” 

Cassia blinked, for a moment not knowing how to explain the weird mood that had led her to spontaneously try out a random club she had never been to before. Cullen seemed to take her hesitation for something else though.

“I apologize, that sounded like I was hitting on you,” he quickly added, and the look that he gave her seemed genuinely worried. “I am not trying to make you more uncomfortable, especially after something like this.”

Cassia’s thoughts were all over the place. “Trying to hit on me?” she asked, confused. She hadn’t even assumed that he was. Hitting on her that was. But now that he said the words, she couldn’t help but have her thoughts go there as she looked at him. He was certainly good-looking with his broad shoulders and the blonde, neatly styled hair. There was a small scar on his upper lip that moved when he smiled and his eyes… Cassia didn’t know how to explain it, but they looked warm. Inviting. 

“I really wasn’t,” Cullen assured her again, and to her own surprise, she found herself just a bit disappointed.

“Oh,” she just said, trying not to look at him as she ignored the silly feeling. She didn’t even know this man. Why would she even care if he would or wouldn’t be interested in her? She definitely hadn’t come here in the hopes of meeting someone after all.

“And now you look almost disappointed.” The tone of his voice made her look up again, and she knew he could probably read her thoughts on her face as a glint appeared in his eyes. Something on his face had changed, and where he had been looking at her in concern before there was something else now. Interest. His eyes didn’t leave hers, and it felt like there was a subtle shift as his entire demeanor changed. “I was trying to be polite,” he said with a smile, “but I don’t have to be if you don’t want me to.” 

The little wink he gave her sent a spark through Cassia.

“You still are asking rather politely, though,” she pointed out, still caught up in his eyes but with a tentative smile of her own. 

“Guilty as charged.” Cullen let out a laugh. “Then let me try this again,” he said smoothly. “Same question, but with a definite untoward attempt of trying to get to know you better.” His eyes went to her clothing. “I assume you are not here for the dancing?”

Cassia felt slightly flustered as her earlier feeling of not really fitting into this environment returned. “It was a spontaneous decision,” she answered. “I was on my way home from work and just thought  _ ‘why not’ _ ?”

Cullen pushed the newly arrived glass of water towards her. “And? Are you regretting the  _ ‘why not’ _ already?” 

She took the glass from him, drinking about half of it before she set it down onto the bar again. “I was starting to, but now I think I’m not. Not anymore.” Cassia managed to push aside the insecurity about feeling out of place. Cullen seemed not to care, his eyes not leaving her even for a moment. So why should she? 

“I’m glad I could remedy the first, really bad impression you got from this club then,” he said with a grin that had Cassia feel a tingle of excitement run down her back.

“It doesn’t really have anything to do with the club,” Cassia blurted out. Before she could think about what she had just said, Cullen’s deep chuckle distracted her.

“You are very direct,” he said, giving her a look that made her cheeks heat up.

“I’m…” she started, trying to make the situation less awkward. “Can I blame it on the spiked drink?” Cassia sent him an apologetic smile. “Pretend that I normally don’t blurt out my every thought like that?”

“Don’t apologize, I rather like it,” Cullen assured her. “It is nice to not have to guess what someone else might be thinking for a change.” Something about the way he said it made Cassia pause and think about his words.

“Do people normally not tell you what they really think then?” she asked playfully, but the look he gave her was somehow unreadable.

“Do people ever?” His voice was quiet and Cassia was tempted to ask a follow-up question when her phone suddenly went off with a text notification. Merrill. 

_ ‘I said have fun, not get into trouble! I’m on my way, be there in five. Meet at the entrance!’ _

“That was my friend,” she told Cullen, looking up from her phone again. “She’ll be here in a few minutes, taking me home.”

Now that the unsettled feelings from earlier were completely gone, Cassia was almost sad that she would have to leave. Then again, he had taken time off his work already just to keep her company. The thought that this was actually his workplace stopped all her other thoughts. Maybe he had just been indulging her, making her feel comfortable. Would it be too forward from her to ask him if she could have his number? She felt almost a bit foolish about already having gotten her hopes up.

“Listen,” he suddenly interrupted her thoughts. “I know this might feel strange, especially after what happened earlier, but I would really like to see you again.”

A wide smile spread over Cassia’s face as he took all her anxious thoughts away with that one single sentence. “I’d like that too,” she admitted as she got up.

Before she could get ready to leave, he was handing her his phone. “Give me your number, and I’ll take you out for lunch tomorrow.” 

Cassia’s eyebrows went up as she was typing her number into his phone. Tomorrow already? A warm feeling spread through her as she realized that her worry had been for nothing.

“I’m looking forward to it!” she grinned as she handed him back his phone and he accompanied her to the club entrance where she could see Merrill already waiting for her. As he wished her a good-night with another smile that made something in her flutter again, Cassia thought to herself that despite the earlier scare, the evening had definitely been one of the better ones she had experienced in Kirkwall so far.

But in familiar tradition,  the next day started as bleak as the working part of the day before had ended. The debriefing had everyone down before it was even 10am. Adriene was noticeably frustrated and the rest of the team was in various states of being demoralized. The reports from police captain Aveline made it even worse, driving home just how fruitless the entire stint had been. 

Cassia was more than glad when lunchtime finally came around. Cullen had texted her a time and a location not too far from the club she had been in yesterday, and Cassia felt somewhat giddy as she waited for him in front of the restaurant. It was a small, rather quiet Italian place. Cozy and surprisingly not crowded at all like she was used to from every other restaurant she had been to around lunchtime so far. 

The amazing food almost distracted her from the fact that Cullen looked remarkably different from last night. Instead of his casual clothes, he wore a suit, and Cassia couldn’t help but sneak glances at him as they talked about this and that, blushing slightly whenever he caught her. It would have been embarrassing if he hadn’t also been looking at her much in the same fashion, not hiding his interest at all. 

What kept her from getting completely lost in her slight infatuation was that their conversation was surprisingly normal. Interesting, but staying in the rather safe territory of discussing books, recent news, and a very generic description of her work. 

Cassia was used to explaining what she did to people in a way that hid where she worked or who she worked for. Something that ultimately made the subject of what she did for a living even more dry and uninteresting to talk about, she had to admit. But he had asked and listened to her explanations, still looking absorbed in what she had to say which, at least from Cassia’s experience, was rather rare. 

“I’m so sorry, I talk too much about boring stuff again,” she decided to switch the topic after all, not wanting to test his limits on just how much he would be willing to indulge her, but Cullen seemed to have a different opinion.

“Not at all! This is absolutely fascinating,” he assured her and sounded so honest about it that Cassia couldn't help but feel impressed.

She smiled at him. “I appreciate it, really! But I’ve been talking about standardized forms for the last ten minutes…”

He shook his head. “No, you have been talking about finding ways to beat a system that sounds like it was designed to make people not want to fight it.”

“Huh?” Cassia blinked. She had just been explaining how she used several official forms that all contradicted each other to finally get a budget approved through a loophole. A budget her boss really hadn’t wanted to approve. Cullen’s description was kind of on point. “I guess I did,” she admitted with a small laugh. “That does sound a bit cooler than just  _ ‘forms’ _ , that’s true.”

“How can you claim your work is boring when you just described that you figured out how to force something  _ technically illegal _ ,” Cullen gave her a stern look that was obviously fake by the grin on his face before he went on, “through a system that had to follow its own rules until they legitimized what you did!”

She had to take a moment to let that sentence sink in. What an overly complicated but really damn fancy way of describing that she cheated the system. “I should hire you as my hype man,” she declared. “You make me sound so much wilder than I am.”

Cullen laughed, giving her a pointed look. “I am a very busy man, but I think I could make time for that!”

She felt her cheeks glow warmly at his words, smiling brightly at him. “Now I just have to hope no auditor catches on.”

“And then you can say you got away with the perfect crime!” He winked at her before tipping his glass slightly in her direction in a mock toast. 

“Shit, I did, didn’t I?” Cassia had to stifle a small nervous giggle as she became aware that he was right. “Technically, that wasn’t completely legal. Though I would call it more of a cheat of the system than a perfect crime really…”

“You wouldn’t like to get the reputation as a criminal mastermind?” he asked, obviously greatly amused by their conversation, and Cassia let out a dramatic sigh.

“If I had known that you can become one by simply filling out some forms, I would have maybe considered that as a career path,” she grinned before she shook her head. “Ok, not really. I would be really bad at that. Submitting those forms, knowing that I was bending the rules, already made me far too nervous.”

Cullen chuckled softly. “I guess it’s back to honest work for you then!”

Cassia was still laughing along as she saw him look at his watch before cursing quietly. “Damn it, I have to be back at work shortly,” he said apologetically before waving over the waiter and asking for the bill. 

With a quick look onto her phone that held several missed messages, Cassia realized that they had been sitting in the quiet little restaurant for almost two hours by now. Quickly she texted her sister that she was done with lunch and would be back shortly. As she watched Cullen pay for their food, she thought about how she couldn’t really remember ever having lost track of time like this when she had been with another person. On her own, absorbed in her world or a good book? Sure. But with someone else? Normally, it was the exact opposite. Cassia usually enjoyed a bit of conversation, some time spent with other people, but then she became restless, wondering when enough time had passed so she could make an excuse to leave. Yet she found herself thinking that she wouldn’t mind staying right here, talking to him for much longer. A smile flickered over her face at that.

“You know what?” she asked, as the waiter went away again and they got up. “Before I go back to all that honest work, let me try the criminal mastermind thing one more time.”

Cullen paused to look at her. “What about being too nervous?”

“Oh, I’m taking all my courage together!” she said with a wink.

“What, you are going to do something illegal?” Cullen gave her a scandalized look. He had taken her coat, holding it out to help her put it on. “Right here? I’m intrigued!”

Cassia felt a shiver running through her at the drop of his voice as she put on her coat. Him helping her into it meant he was suddenly much closer than he had been before, and she felt herself flush. “I… That’s not what I meant, I mean…” she stammered as Cullen bent over slightly, coming even closer.

“I was just joking,” he all but whispered into her ear. “But I would absolutely love to know where your mind is right now!”

Cassia felt her breath hitch. Her heart was suddenly beating furiously in her chest. “I was going to say since I gave you advice about financial stuff, you could technically bill this as a work lunch and put it on your taxes…” she all but blurted out hastily, causing Cullen to chuckle in honest amusement.

“That is actually great advice!” he agreed but he hadn’t moved away yet. Instead, his hands came to rest on her shoulders and his voice was suddenly much lower. “But that’s not where your thoughts went afterward at all, is it?” 

Cassia was glad that he couldn’t see her face, fighting her furious blush as she found herself shaking her head. “Not really,” she admitted shakily and she heard Cullen take in a deep breath as his hands left her shoulders, running down her arms.

“Go out with me!” There was a hint of urgency in his voice that made Cassia feel warm inside as she turned around to face him. “Tomorrow night,” he insisted. “I have to go on a small business trip two days from now, and I don’t think I can wait another week before I see you again.”

“I’d love to,” she answered before she had even thought about it. Did she have something planned for tomorrow already? She really hoped she hadn’t, or whoever else wanted some of her time would have to live with being canceled on. Tomorrow. That meant she had about a day to stop all that furious blushing she had been doing. “That might just give me enough time to find my composure again,” she muttered under her breath, but Cullen had definitely heard her.

“Wonderful!” he said with a smile before leaning in close enough so she could see herself reflected in his eyes. “I am already thinking up more ways of making you lose it,” he murmured lowly. “You look absolutely breathtaking when you are flustered.”

Cassia gasped audibly as he drew back, staring at him with wide eyes. He couldn’t just… How did he even? She definitely wasn’t used to someone being this forward but at least he didn’t seem to take her lack of answer as a bad sign as he sent her another wink and led her out of the restaurant. 

“I have to run, but text me your address, and I’ll pick you up at seven,” he said, and with a last grin and goodbye, he was gone.

Cassia was still recovering, unable to fight the wide smile on her face when a familiar laugh made her turn around. Behind her, leaning against a streetlamp was Adriene, grinning widely at her. 

“How did you even know where I was?” Cassia asked, confused. “I literally just texted you a few minutes ago…”

“You wear a tracker in your purse  _ and _ you have your phone’s GPS on,” Adriene only shrugged. “And you  _ never _ go out for lunch, can’t blame me for being curious!” She pushed herself off the streetlamp to join Cassia on their way back to the office. “I figured if it was something you didn’t want me to know you’d have turned that stuff off,” she added. “So, was that the guy from last night then?”

Cassia nodded. “Yeah, that was him. The nice one, not the creepy one, I mean!”

Adriene laughed, bumping her shoulder into Cassia’s. “Of course the nice one! Seriously, why would I assume you’d meet the other one for lunch?”

“I don’t know,” Cassia mumbled, her thoughts still circling around her conversation with Cullen.

“Well, I know,” Adriene said, sounding obnoxiously cheerful. “It’s because you are totally whipped and have lost all brain capacity!” 

Cassia was getting ready to protest, but really, her sister wasn’t wrong. “I might be going onto an actual date tomorrow night…” Cassia admitted, still smiling to herself.

“My sister, going onto an actual date with a good-looking guy who is apparently also a knight in shining armor?” Adriene was looking genuinely excited for her. “I’m happy for you! You work too much and don’t have nearly enough fun!”

Usually, Cassia would disagree with that sentiment, but if she was honest with herself, she had been having more fun in the last two hours than she had probably had in the past four months together. And it had been with a man she had just met who was not only gorgeous but also funny and, most of all, seemed really interested in her. 

“Yeah,” she grinned. “I have a really good feeling about this.” 


	2. Falling Too Far

The good feeling only lasted for a little more than a day, until Cassia realized that she had absolutely no idea of how to prepare for a date she knew nothing about. Cullen confirmed again that he would pick her up after she had given him her address, but apart from that, he said nothing about where they would be going except that it was a surprise. Should she dress for a club? She wasn’t sure she even had anything in her closet that would even remotely make her fit in there. Then again, she could probably borrow something from her sister if she had to. 

But what if they went somewhere to dinner where such an outfit would be horribly inappropriate? Cassia was aware that she was most likely overthinking the whole thing. With a sigh, she sat down on her bed, pulling out her phone to call Merrill only to hang up three minutes later feeling like an idiot for not thinking of the most simple solution herself.

 _‘Just text him and say you want to make sure to dress appropriately and ask him if there’s a dress code, Cassia!’_ her friend had said in between laughs. 

She let out a disbelieving chuckle as she followed Merrill’s advice and texted Cullen. Adriene had been right the day before, she had definitely lost all her brain-capacity over this date.

Cullen’s answer came only a couple of minutes later. 

_‘Elegant evening wear._ _  
_ _Something you would wear to the symphony.’_

The symphony? Cassia could definitely choose an outfit based on that. Though it felt like an odd choice for a first date, spending it somewhere where they wouldn’t get to talk to each other for hours in a row. Just at that moment, her phone buzzed again.

 _‘Don’t worry, we are not going to the symphony!_ _  
_ _Oh, and if you have something like it in your wardrobe, you_ _  
_ _might want to go for something with a wide and flowing skirt._ _  
_ _For the optimized experience.’_

Cassia stared at her phone, glad that no one was around her to watch her almost choke. How was she even supposed to take this? Before she could think twice about it, she was already texting him back.

_‘For the optimized experience???’_

Cullen’s answer came quickly again.

 _‘I swear that was not supposed to be innuendo._   
_Trust me._ _  
You’ll see when we get there.’_

Cassia wasn’t sure if that text made everything just more confusing, but she sent back a skeptical-looking smiley and an _‘ok’_ before finally starting to get ready, now that she had some sort of idea what to wear.

Cullen picked her up right on time, and all the nervous energy and her worrying took a backseat behind the fluttering feeling of excitement that spread through her the moment she saw him. Elegant eveningwear that came in the form of an immaculately tailored suit made him look even better than at lunch. More serious somehow, almost stern if it weren’t for the wide smile on his face. 

“You should have just told me that it’s a black-tie event,” Cassia grinned at him as he opened the car door for her. She was glad that she had chosen to go with the slightly dressier version of her eveningwear choices. “I almost underdressed!”

Cullen was still smiling, but there was a glint of _something_ in his eyes as he took in the long, light blue dress she was wearing. “You look absolutely breathtaking!” he said without even trying to hide just how much he appreciated her look.

As Cullen joined her in the backseat, she realized that he had a driver with him. He seemed to be determined to go all out for this date, and Cassia found it harder and harder to contain her curiosity. 

“So, are you going to tell me where we are going or do I have to wear a blindfold or something?” she asked as they drove along the familiar inner-city roads.

“A blindfold? I wish I would have thought of that!” Cullen sent her a heated look as he leaned slightly towards her. They weren’t even touching, but they sat close enough to each other that it would only take another small shift to do so. “Maybe for another time,” he murmured before he leaned back again, leaving Cassia to her inner struggle of not letting herself get too flustered. “But no, I can tell you some bits. We are on our way to the national museum of history.”

Her beginning blush completely forgotten, Cassia perked up. “But that is closed for renovations!” Something she knew for a fact since it had been one of the things she had looked forward to visiting in Kirkwall. And something she had just mentioned at lunch yesterday. 

“Normally, yes,” Cullen agreed, a secretive smile on his face. “But tonight, there is a charity event for which they have opened part of the already completed floor.”

Cassia felt excitement bubbling up in her. Of all the places he could have taken her for a first date, this was not something she would have ever even thought about. “What is the charity event for?” she asked curiously, only to be met with an apologetic shrug.

“I have no idea if I’m honest,” Cullen admitted. “I wasn’t really interested in that.”

He wasn’t? Cassia was beginning to feel confused again. “So what were you interested in then?”

Cullen had an unreadable look on his face as he shook his head. “That would be back into surprise territory.”

“Alright…” Cassia said slowly, trying to make sense of all of this. So the event wasn’t the surprise and the museum itself apparently wasn’t either? A look at Cullen made it obvious that he was not going to tell her anything more, but Cassia guessed that the answers wouldn’t be far off. Not with the car already slowing down in front of their destination.

“I can wait a bit longer,” she said with a smile.

Cullen’s answering smile was full of promise. “Trust me, it’s going to be worth it!”

As they stepped outside, Cassia’s eyes immediately fell onto the large posters advertising the event. This was not something anyone could just walk into, that much was obvious.

“Cullen, this is a closed event!” she pointed out. Cullen grinned at her, pulling something out of his jacket.

“I know someone who knows someone who frequently stops by the club and owed me a favour,” he said almost casually as he handed a very formal-looking invitation to someone guarding the entrance. They waved them through without a second thought.

The very nice town car with a personal driver earlier and now he knew someone who knew someone? Cassia couldn’t help but wonder just how connected he was. “I am impressed!” she said, still busy taking in their environment.

Cullen was chuckling next to her. “That is not even the thing I wanted to impress you with,” he murmured quietly as he took her coat and handed it to someone at the coat check. She could see his eyes widen ever so slightly as he noticed the very low cut her dress had at her back, and she smiled to herself.

“You are really building up the suspense, you know?” she noted. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll create expectations you can’t fulfill?”

He had the audacity to laugh as they entered the brightly illuminated hall in front of them. “Not really, no…”

Inside, Cassia was far too busy looking around and taking in all that was happening to come up with an answer. The main hall and the elaborate old-fashioned stairways that were at the center of it were something Cassia had only ever seen in pictures. And those were from before they had started to renovate the entire place. No picture she had seen came even close to comparison now that she was standing in front of the real thing. 

While this place was normally the starting point that led to the various exhibitions the museum was housing at all times, it had been repurposed into an impromptu art gallery on its own for this night. From classical masterworks to modern art, it was an illustrious mix of beauty. Some pieces had small tables with papers and envelopes next to them. A silent auction, Cassia realized. Probably the charity part of this event Cullen had mentioned earlier. 

He had gotten them two glasses of champagne, and Cassia took his offered arm as they slowly wandered around, admiring the different art pieces.

“Just look at all this art in one room!” Cassia almost whispered as she admired a particularly well-done display of statues. “The pieces are amazing! Some I didn’t even know about before.”

“They did a very impressive job, yes,” Cullen agreed. “The more unknown pieces are on loan from a private collection.”

Cassia was stunned. A private collection? Housing things like this? She was no art expert but even she knew that some of the paintings and statues were both rare and worth a fortune. She shook her head. “I know it’s a rich-people-hobby to collect art, but honestly, things like this are too beautiful to waste away somewhere where people can’t see them.” It seemed like such a waste. “Art is meant to be shared, not bunkered away in some air-conditioned basement.”

Cullen sounded thoughtful next to her. “Perhaps collectors just like the art so much they want to have it all to themselves?”

“That’s pretty selfish, isn’t it?” Cassia muttered, still mesmerized by the paintings around them.

For a moment, Cullen looked like he wanted to argue the point he made, but then his look changed. “You are not wrong,” he admitted. “Perhaps it is just selfishness.”

Cassia let out a sigh as she tore her eyes away from a painting of some renaissance social event. “It’s not that I can’t understand it, though.” She turned to look at Cullen. “Thank you for taking me here! I’ve wanted to see this place since I first thought about moving to Kirkwall, and I was so disappointed that I couldn’t so far…”

“I know, you mentioned that at lunch.” His slightly smug smile made Cassia laugh.

“If you can make miracles like this happen in less than a day, maybe I should start mentioning more things I dream about doing,” she said cheerfully only for the sound of her laughter to suddenly die in her throat as Cullen moved a bit closer and into her personal space.

“You definitely should!” he said smoothly. “You know, all this beautiful art in one room, and I still would much rather spend the evening looking at you.” Cassia swallowed audibly at the sudden drop of his voice. He had that look in his eyes again, the look that had made her stomach flutter and her breath go slightly faster. His smile widened at her reaction. “Ah, there is that delightful blush again.”

Cassia was still trying to get a grip, to pull herself together when he suddenly took her hand.

“Come on, the speeches are starting, time for the main event!” 

She followed him out of reflex before she could even think about what he could mean. The main event? He gently pulled her along, away from the crowd of people and the small improvised stage. Wasn’t the main event where they had just been at? 

“Where are we going?” she asked, trying to understand what was happening.

Cullen shot her a conspiratorial look over his shoulder. “Just wait a little bit more, this is the surprise!”

He hurried her along towards the side of the hall, and she found herself pulled behind a large red curtain. It was a bit darker behind the heavy fabric, and her eyes took a moment to get used to the lack of light. When they did, she saw that the curtain had been hiding a large door. A door to which Cullen apparently had managed to get a key for, she realized as he carefully unlocked it, obviously trying not to make too much noise.

“Come on,” Cullen hurried her along, “before someone sees us.”

Cassia had been about to follow him when she saw that rather prominent sign on the door right in front of her. “Cullen,” she pulled at his arm. “It says that this part is still closed for renovations!”

He didn’t seem to share her concern at all as he shrugged. “I know, just ignore it!”

“But it says authorized personnel only.” Cassia shook her head. “We are not authorized personnel, Cullen!”

He stopped to turn around to her. For a moment, Cassia was almost worried that she had annoyed him with making a fuss, but there was a hint of amusement on his face. That, and a very intense look as his eyes met hers. “Cassia, do you trust me?”

His smile was warm as he held out his hand for her to take, and Cassia found herself nodding.

“Then come with me!” he urged quietly, and a moment later, when she took his hand, he pulled her past the sign and through the mysterious door. Behind her, he carefully closed it again and she heard the lock snap shut. What on earth was he even trying to do? It seemed like she had no choice but to simply follow along if she wanted to figure out what the ominous surprise actually was.

He guided her along a freshly renovated but still rather empty hallway until the noises from the charity event weren’t even audible anymore. Cassia wondered just how far into the large museum building they actually were by now as Cullen suddenly stopped and turned around a corner until they were in front of a set of massive, heavy doors. 

“Alright, this is it.” He sounded excited as he pushed one of the doors open enough just so they could slip through. Whatever lay behind was not really visible as the room was almost completely dark. The heavy door fell shut behind them.

“Just one more moment,” Cullen muttered. “The light should be around… ah, here it is!” 

She heard a switch flip and it took another second before the lights around the room gradually turned on. Piece by piece, they lit up, and Cassia’s eyes went wide as she found herself standing in an enormous ballroom. The floor was shining beneath the bright lights, and she didn’t even know where to look first. The ornately decorated walls, the ceiling covered in detailed paintings, or the impressive chandelier hanging at the center of the room. Something about this looked familiar. A painting she had seen earlier came to mind. “This is…” she wondered quietly.

“An exact replica of the royal ballroom from the old castle that stood quite close to here a long time ago,” Cullen confirmed. “They reconstructed it from the paintings that survived from that time. It’s going to feature in the grand re-opening in a couple of weeks.”

Fascinated, Cassia tried to take in what she saw. She had always loved art and architecture, visited museums and exhibitions and old historical sights rather frequently, but never before had she seen anything as impressive as this. 

“This is…” she started, losing her train of thought almost immediately. “I’m rather speechless, I have to admit. I mean… how? Why?” 

Cullen came up behind her. Except for offering her his arm, he hadn’t been touching her at all so far, but now he was so close that she could almost feel the jacket of his suit against her mostly bare back. 

“You said you like to dance but wouldn’t know what to do on a club dancefloor,” he said softly as one of his hands came to rest on her arm, and she felt like her skin was tingling underneath his touch.

“I didn’t tell you how much I loved ballroom dancing though,” Cassia mumbled, still engrossed in the sight in front of her. 

Cullen chuckled. “Lucky guess? It seemed to fit with what else I knew about you. Ballroom dancing seemed much more like your style.”

“It is,” Cassia admitted as she tried to wrap her head around this. Nervous laughter rose up in her. “I don’t like club dancing, so you go and get me an entire ballroom?” Her voice was full of disbelief. Suddenly, she remembered his text from earlier that evening. Specifically his remark about what she should choose to wear made a lot of sense now.

“Oh, it gets better,” Cullen promised her. “Wait here, I even got us music!” He left her standing where she was. A moment later, she heard another switch being flipped, and then there were the soothing sounds of an orchestra playing a slow waltz filling up the room.

Cullen was suddenly in front of her, holding his hand out with a small flourish. “May I have this dance?”

A squeal of delight left Cassia’s mouth before she could stop herself as she took the offered hand and let herself be pulled into his arms and onto the dancefloor. 

Cassia felt like she was floating as he led her around with sure steps. Cullen definitely knew what he was doing. More than that even, she thought as she realized that he was actually a rather good dancer. The various lights in the ballroom blended together as they danced past them, the music giving the whole thing an almost fairytale-like atmosphere. Part of her was still struggling to understand that this was actually happening. It felt almost surreal. Cassia had very limited dating experience, shutting herself off from the world as often as she did. But even with that, she knew that this was not generally something that happened on first dates. Or any dates really.

It was definitely happening right now though. The music piece ended, and there was only a small moment of silence before the next one started. 

“I can’t believe this is real right now,” she murmured as they twirled around. “I’m… I just… you did that!”

Cullen chuckled, not missing a single step. “Well, I have to admit I did have an ulterior motive…”

Cassia’s eyebrows rose up. “Ulterior motive?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I really, _really_ wanted to make sure you would say yes to a second date!”

Cassia didn’t know what she had expected him to say, but she hadn’t counted on his answer being so very charming. “I’d have probably said yes anyway, regardless of where we would have gone if I’m honest,” she admitted. “Hell, I’d have said yes to _club dancing_ if you were the one asking me to.”

“Good to know!” Cullen sent her an amused look. “That means I don’t actually have to top this next time?”

She grinned. “I doubt that would be possible.”

Something flickered in his eyes. “Careful, I might take that as a challenge…”

Cassia shook her head slightly. “It’s really not necessary,” she said softly. “But it’s not like I would try to stop you.”

They danced until she was out of breath and had to ask for a time out. The music went on playing around them as Cassia took her time, wandering around and taking in all the little details of the absolute beauty of the ballroom. 

“How long can we stay here?” she asked curiously while craning her head to get a better look at the painted ceiling. 

Cullen’s voice came from right next to her. “We should leave before they are closing down the charity.” He took a look at his watch. “We have some time, at least two more hours.”

Cassia smiled happily. She was in absolutely no hurry to leave. For a while, they just kept talking, admiring the artful work around them, pointing out small details to each other, and Cassia caught herself thinking more than once that this might just be the best evening out she had ever spent with someone. They were in the middle of a conversation when the music changed again and so did the look on Cullens face as he sent her a speculative look. When she heard the different style, she realized why.

“I think I have to ask you for another dance,” he said with a look that sent shivers down her back. “Provided you know how to tango?”

Cassia did. Technically at least. Frantically, she thought back to her long-past dancing lessons, trying to remember. “In theory,” she said slowly. “But I’m not sure I am any good at it. It’s been ages.”

Despite her doubts, she took his hand again as he offered and he pulled her against him. “Don’t worry,” he murmured as she felt his hands slide over her. “Just follow my lead.”

A moment later, Cassia realized that the difficulty wasn’t actually remembering the steps but rather trying to not embarrass herself by tripping over her own feet from being so distracted. Cullen was so much closer than before. His eyes were on her with an intensity that made it hard to breathe. And his touches… From what she remembered from her dance lessons, they were supposed to be for show. Dancing with one of the instructors had certainly never even remotely felt like this. There was absolutely no polite decorum in the way Cullen slid his hands up her back and along her shoulders, firmly putting her arms around his neck. 

More and more, Cassia started to remember how to actually do this, but it didn’t really help the feeling of constantly being thrown off by his boldness. A spin here, a twist there, and when he pulled her back against him, he held her so close that her breath hitched. Cassia felt almost lightheaded as she followed his moves, letting herself be pushed and pulled along to the dance almost like in a trance.

When the music stopped, she was more out of breath than she had been before. Cullen’s hand was low on her back, holding her against him and his face was so close that Cassia could feel his warm breath on her. In a sudden burst of courage, she looked him straight in the eyes. “If this doesn’t end with you kissing me right now, I’ll be sorely disappointed,” she breathed out, and something in his eyes lit up as his whole posture subtly changed. The hand on her back got a bit firmer, and his other hand was suddenly on her face, fingers trailing down her cheek, sending goosebumps down her neck.

“I would never want to disappoint you,” he said with a low rumble before dipping down his head and brushing his lips over hers. Cassia felt like everything around them just stood still at the tentative touch. After the intensity of their dance, she had expected a very different kind of kiss somehow, but the gentle press of his lips against hers made her feel warm inside. She sighed softly against his lips, and she felt him stop. Suddenly he was tense against her, his hand slipping around her neck. 

“Cassia,” he mumbled against her lips, and she could feel his fingers on her back twitch slightly. There was something urgent in the way his voice sounded. “I want…”

“Yes!” she breathed against him. Cassia had no idea what it was exactly that he wanted, but it didn’t matter. She was pretty sure she would want the same thing. And just like that, the tension in him seemed to snap as his hands on her tightened and his mouth was back on hers, far less gentle and a lot more insistent than before. 

Cassia opened her lips against him and with a low moan, he deepened their kiss. His tongue slipped into her mouth, sending little sparks of pleasure through her with every move. Instinctively, Cassia pushed closer to him until she felt like there wasn’t anything left between them as their whole bodies pressed against each other. She had imagined what kissing him might be like, but nothing she had come up with even remotely compared to the real thing. When he moved to gasp for air, Cassia went after him without thought, catching his lower lip between her teeth and pulling ever so slightly. It caused a deep groan in the back of Cullen’s throat as he pushed back against her, his lips searing hot as they fit perfectly on hers again. His hand was roaming over the parts of her back that the dress left exposed, touching every bit of skin he could reach as he kept kissing her until she felt like she was getting light-headed. Cassia shuddered under his touch, burying her fingers in his hair as she tried to hold on. When he finally drew back, he looked at her in amazement. 

“I had planned to give you a very chaste good night kiss when I bring you home,” he said slowly, his voice sounding slightly hoarse. 

Cassia felt a small grin forming on her face. “Then you probably shouldn’t have started to feel me up during the dance,” she said cheekily. 

“I have no excuse for that,” he murmured. “Other than that you feel absolutely perfect in my arms.”

Cassia’s stomach fluttered again at his words as she was close to getting lost in his eyes again. “You really don’t need an excuse,” she murmured. 

“If I didn’t have a very early flight in the morning, I would convince you to come home with me right now,” Cullen said with a slight growl in his voice before he kissed her again. Cassia felt herself getting hot at the mere thought and the unabashed decisiveness with which he had said this. She knew in that moment that if he would try, there would be absolutely no convincing of any kind necessary. 

“I guess that means,” she got out in between kisses, “we are definitely going for a second date once you’re back.” 

He hummed appreciatively, his hands sliding down her back again. “Dinner at my place, I’ll cook for you.” His voice was still impossibly low, and Cassia nodded eagerly.

“How could I say no to that…” Her breath hitched as one of his hands dropped lower, sliding over her hips and onto her ass. The thin fabric of her dress still let her feel the heat of his touch, and she let out a needy noise as he squeezed, fingers digging into the soft flesh of her behind. 

All of a sudden, Cullen’s hand froze just for a moment, before he let it wander to her lower back and continued to her hips. His eyebrows rose as he shot her a questioning look. Earlier in the evening, Cassia would have probably blushed at his discovery, but the open desire on his face had her full of confidence as she smiled sweetly at him.

“This is really not the kind of dress you can wear anything underneath without it showing through,” she said, sounding almost apologetically. The groan he let out as his hand wandered down again sent a spark of excitement through her.

“Damn it, Cassia,” he cursed, and for the first time since they had met, Cassia thought that his voice sounded slightly shaken. “You are killing me here.”

The visible effect her little revelation had on him made Cassia feel desired like she had never felt before, and with a coy smile she looked up at him. “Maybe I had an ulterior motive too,” she said playfully. “Maybe I wanted to make sure _you_ would say yes to a second date as well.”

“You are not playing fair,” he murmured against the skin of her neck, and Cassia chuckled.

“Says the man who got me a private ballroom for our first date?” The end of her sentence turned into a low moan as she felt Cullen nip at a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. “All I did was leave two small pieces of clothing at home. Not really comparable.”

Cullen was back to looking at her. “Two?” he asked. “You are telling me this dress is actually the only thing you are wearing right now?” There was a fire in his eyes that only seemed to get more intense as Cassia nodded in affirmation. What happened next happened almost too fast for her to catch on, but Cullen’s hands were firmly on her hips as he moved her backward, and a moment later, she found herself trapped between him and a marble column. Stuck between the hard stone and his bulk, she could do nothing but hold on to him as he kissed her like he wanted to devour her. 

“This is really not a suitable place for what I want to do with you right now,” he sounded slightly frustrated as he managed to pull himself away from her mouth again. Cassia sighed.

“I know.” She definitely shared his frustration about that. “Something to look forward to for our second date then,” she said softly. Cullen smiled at her.

“Definitely!” For a brief moment, she thought that he would draw back further, trying to let them both regain some composure, but then there was a glint of something more devious in his eyes. “Doesn’t mean we have to leave here entirely worked up though.” 

Cassia was just about to ask what he was thinking about when he grabbed the skirt of her dress, pulling it up just enough so he could slip his hand underneath. _Oh!_ Cassia’s eyes widened and her breath started to go faster at his touch. His fingers trailed up the inside of her leg, and Cassia shuddered as he moved closer to her center. Even with all their heavy flirting before, this was a lot bolder than Cassia would have expected him to be, but she found, to her own surprise, that she didn’t mind even one bit. His fingers nudged her thigh gently, and Cassia’s lips parted with a needy sigh as she widened her stance and opened her thighs for him. His other hand was on her neck, tilting her head so she had no choice but to look directly into his eyes.

“I bet you look absolutely beautiful when you come,” he said lowly just as his fingers brushed over her. Once, twice, gently teasing her before two of them pushed through her folds and into her wet heat. Cassia instinctively strained her neck, trying to kiss him again, but his hand held her in place, his eyes never leaving her as he easily added a third finger and his thumb found the center of her pleasure and started circling it gently. She felt her eyes fall shut as a loud moan left her.

“Open your eyes!” Cullen’s voice was rough, and her eyes flew open again. “I want to watch you fall apart,” he murmured, and Cassia felt herself starting to tremble under his ministrations. His fingers pushing in and out of her felt just right as he curled them perfectly, his thumb never letting up. 

“Cullen,” Cassia breathed out helplessly as she felt herself getting closer and closer already. Both, his hand between her legs and her growing desire to have his lips back on hers made her shiver with need. Her hands held onto his shoulders, fingers clawing into the fabric of his jacket as she tried to keep herself upright. Cassia was glad that he had her so thoroughly trapped between him and the column because she was absolutely certain that her knees would have given out by now. A deep moan left her as he shifted slightly and the need in her only grew together with the intensity of his movements. Instinctively, she tried to kiss him again but he held her in place almost effortlessly. His eyes darkened with lust as Cassia gave herself over, simply letting him hold her up as she lost the battle against the sensations that shook through her body. The intensity of his gaze was almost unbearable and she gasped. “Cullen, I need… please,” she whispered helplessly as he picked up the pace.

“Yes,” Cullen encouraged her, the rumble in his voice sending sparks of heat down her back. “Come for me. Show me.” His voice was rough as he twisted his fingers just so, and Cassia saw stars, forcing herself to keep her eyes wide open as she felt something in her snap, and she let out a desperate noise as pleasure surged through her entire body. Cullen didn’t let up until the last bits of it had ebbed off. Only then did he take his hand away, letting her dress fall down again. “As I thought,” he murmured. “Absolutely beautiful!” He was still holding her gaze as he brought his hand up to his mouth, tasting her on his fingers and letting out another soft moan. “I can’t wait to get you into an actual bed.”

Cassia shuddered under his intensity, unable to look away even for a second. Her heart was still racing, the sound of it beating loudly in her ear mixing with her heavy breaths. The heat on her skin where they touched stood in complete contrast to the cool feeling of the marble column behind her. She was still clinging to him, holding on to keep herself steady as she slowly started to feel in control of her legs again. A sudden idea had her smile. “Me neither,” she agreed before taking a deep breath. “But I don’t think I’m going to wait until I get _you_ into one.” Before he could say anything, she pushed herself off the column. Grabbing the lapels of his jacket she turned them both around. Cullen took a shuddering breath as her hands roamed down his body and busied themselves with his pants. Only then his eyes widened as he realized what she intended to do. 

“Cassia, there is no need for you to…” he started, but the end of his sentence was lost to a moan as she had undone his pants just enough to pull his length out.

“Don’t you dare,” she chided playfully. “You don’t get to play the gentleman _now_ , not after what you just did.” She started stroking him experimentally, watching his eyes get dark with pleasure as she moved her wrist. “I’ll even be generous and let you close your eyes,” she teased him. “That is if you want to miss the show.”

His half-closed eyes flew open again, watching her every move as she sank down until she could run her tongue over the tip of his length. She could feel him shudder under her touch, as her tongue dipped teasingly into the slit. A rush of excitement went through her as she felt just how tense Cullen was and she closed her lips around him, guiding him into her mouth. 

“Cassia…” he groaned as she started to move her head, sucking and twisting her hand in tandem. One of his hands suddenly was in her hair, gently tugging, guiding her into just the right rhythm. The soft noises of encouragement she made whenever his hold on her hair got a little tighter got almost drowned out by the music that still filled the room around them. But when she looked up at him, she saw that he had heard them. There was a hint of a smirk on his face just before he tightened his grip, giving her hair a much harder pull, and Cassia moaned around his length. She could feel him struggling not to push into her mouth too harshly as she picked up speed.

“Cassia…” he moaned again, his breath coming out in harsh bursts. “I’m close, you might wanna…” He couldn’t finish his sentence as she doubled down, leaving him no chance to say anything more before his hips started stuttering, and with a shout of her name, he spilled himself into her mouth.

The sight of Cullen being completely breathless because of her made her smile widely as she got back up and gently tucked him into his clothes again. His hands flew to help her, buttoning his pants up before they engulfed her, holding her tightly against him. For a moment, Cullen just held her close before he bent down to kiss her. This time it felt more like their very first kiss again. Soft, unhurried, but with an underlying sensation of beginning familiarity, and Cassia sighed softly into the kiss, getting lost in the simple sensation of being held in his arms. 

She had no idea how long they were standing like this, just enjoying each other’s closeness. One of his hands was drawing lazy patterns onto her back, and Cassia leaned into his touch. “This is not at all how I pictured tonight to go,” she confessed quietly. She felt Cullen’s chuckle against her.

“Are you complaining?” he asked, and Cassia vehemently shook her head. 

“Not at all! On the contrary really, this just might have been the absolute best date I’ve ever been on.” When she drew back to look up at him, there was something in his eyes she couldn’t place. He looked at her for a moment before he smiled at her.

“I can relate,” he said with a half-smile on his face. “I am cursing the fact that I have to go away for a few days right now.” 

Cassia silently agreed with that. But then again, it was what it was, and at least they had already made plans for when he would be back. “On the plus side, you have something to look forward to,” she said with a knowing smile, and Cullen grinned back at her. 

“Definitely!” With a glance at his watch, he checked the time. Cassia could see that it was already much later than she had thought it would be. “How about I’ll take you home for tonight before anyone comes for a nightly security check and finds us here?” 

Cassia nodded, almost out of reflex waiting to take his arm again like before, but Cullen had already put his arm around her shoulder, holding her close to him as they walked to the exit of the ballroom. At the door, he turned off the music and the lights, and when Cassia looked back over her shoulder, the now dark and quiet room looked almost unassuming. Not a trace left behind of the overwhelming mood and tension that had been there up until only a few moments ago. Nothing but what remained on her mind, still occupying her thoughts and putting a smile on her face as they walked back through the quiet, dark hallways.

When Cullen brought her home, they made the driver wait for almost half an hour with how long the goodbye kiss at her doorstep took. When Cassia was finally inside her own flat, alone, watching the lights of his departing car reflected in the window, she was still smiling, not at all expecting that twelve hours later everything would fall apart.


	3. A Voice From The Past

The next morning, Cassia woke up to a couple of missed messages on her phone. Most of them, she simply brushed aside, but one had her pay closer attention. Aveline asking her to come into the precinct as soon as possible had Cassia reluctantly get up and out of her bed. This was supposed to be her free day, but if Aveline wanted her to come in instead of simply calling her, the police captain probably had something important going on. So much for her plans of doing absolutely nothing today. 

After a quick shower, Cassia scrolled through her other messages as she made herself some coffee. Merrill wanted to know how her evening went. Adriene asked pretty much the same thing. The newest message from her sister said she would pick her up on her way to Aveline. A quick glance at the time told Cassia that she probably had about half an hour to get ready. 

Dressed and ready to go, she sent Cullen a brief text, wishing him a good morning and asking how his flight went. Cassia was in the process of texting Merrill about last night when Adriene picked her up as planned. 

“So, do you know why we are supposed to come in?” Cassia asked as they walked down the busy street. 

Adriene shrugged, sipping on her still steaming take-away coffee. “Nope, no idea. She just said we should both be there.” 

“Maybe there is a new lead…” Cassia speculated. Or maybe it was the opposite, and Aveline was going to tell them that they were wasting their time and should just pack up and go home.

“We’ll know when we get there,” her sister said, her tone deliberately neutral. Cassia suspected that Adriene didn’t want to get her hopes up only to be disappointed again, and she couldn’t blame her for that. 

“But enough about that,” Adriene suddenly said. “Tell me all about how your date went!”

With a wide grin, Cassia started to fill her in about what had happened the night before, from the moment she hadn’t known what to wear up until the point where they had danced for hours. Carefully, she left out a few details, everything she really didn’t want to admit to having already done on a first date. 

“What the hell, Cassia…” Adriene shook her head in disbelief. “How do you never go out, barely ever meet anyone new and then, just like that, manage to find someone who takes you on the absolute perfect date?” She laughed, grinning widely at Cassia. “Tell me you are planning on seeing him again.”

Cassia nodded with bright and happy eyes. “Of course. He is going to cook me dinner once he is back from his work trip.”

She was still in the middle of gushing about the last evening when the police building came into view. After a quick stop at the security check-in, they both had visitor passes hanging from their necks and walked up to where Aveline had her office. The moment they stepped inside, Cassia knew that whatever Aveline had asked them here for was definitely not good. The other woman looked stressed out. Her hair was almost coming loose from her ponytail, and her face was tense as she greeted them. 

“Alright, so what is going on?” Adriene’s question came as soon as they had sat down. She sounded worried, having noticed the same things her sister had.

Aveline looked like she was about to say something but stopped herself. She looked back and forth between them, and something in her restless behavior was starting to make Cassia anxious. Aveline took a deep breath before fixing her eyes on Cassia.

“Look, there is no easy way to say this, but…” With a side glance to Adriene, she sighed. “Cass, your sister asked the department to run a background check on that guy you are seeing.”

“Oh come on, Ave,” Adriene interjected. “That was supposed to stay between us! Just a routine check. Did you really need to tell her that?”

“I’d say,” Cassia murmured before turning to Adriene. “Again? We _talked_ about this after last time!” Cassia loved her sister to pieces, but Adriene’s paranoia when it came to making sure no one who could harm Cassia ever even came into her vicinity had a tendency to be just on the side of too much. 

“Ladies,” Aveline’s sharper voice cut through them, making them both look back at her. “This isn’t about how I think you should tell your sister if you are doing that,” she said to Adriene. “Even though I _do_ think that! This is about what I found.”

Cassia was starting to feel slightly uneasy. Found? There was something to find? Maybe it was something minor. Something way in the past. But the look on Aveline’s face told her that she was kidding herself.

“Which is…?” Adriene asked impatiently.

“Nothing.” Aveline said plainly but her voice sounded off and both Cassia and Adriene shot her confused looks.

“Nothing?” Cassia asked, puzzled. Then why did they have to personally come all the way down here?

“You seriously just called us over so you can tell on me to my sister?” Adriene asked at that moment, sounding slightly put off, but Aveline only shook her head with a sigh.

“No, you don’t understand. _Nothing_. As in, the absolutely perfect record.” Aveline pulled out a file from a pile on her desk, handing it to her. “You need to see this for yourself.”

The uneasy feeling in her stomach got stronger as Cassia took the file. It was thin and something about this didn’t bode well. Adriene shifted next to her, moving her chair so she could look over her sister’s shoulder as Cassia opened it. 

“Everything seems to look absolutely clean,” Adriene said, sounding less confused and more suspicious all of a sudden. “That… never happens!”

“No, it doesn’t,” Aveline replied grimly. “Unless it is specifically designed that way. There are a few official addresses that are, after further inspection, nothing but fronts and a couple of shell companies we can’t prove are fake, but they just feel… _off_.”

Cassia found herself unable to look up. She could barely even listen to the other two as her eyes were glued to collected information that practically screamed at her in its impossible perfection. Aveline was absolutely right, records this immaculate didn’t exist. Not attached to a real person at least.

“This must be wrong,” she said quietly. “You must be mistaken!”

“This doesn’t look good,” Adriene murmured, shifting closer to take another look. 

“We made no mistake,” Aveline said with a hint of regret in her voice. “After the first check came back, it was so perfectly clean I had a hunch. I ran his social security number and dug a little deeper and… well.” She sighed as she gestured towards the file. “We don’t know much, but what we are certain of is that everything we found on ‘Cullen Rutherford’ is completely and utterly fake.”

Aveline’s words didn’t make it any easier for Cassia to accept. He was a club owner. Just a nice guy who was… very well off by any standards, really, Cassia realized as she thought back to last night. A private town car and driver, connections, the way he had made things possible that sounded absurd to pull off… There had been signs before that he was at least more than he appeared, but never in a million years would Cassia have suspected anything like _this_. 

“Shit,” Adriene cursed next to her, looking almost as distressed as Cassia herself felt.

“You said you don’t have much on him,” Cassia asked Aveline. “Is there a chance that maybe…” She trailed off, not sure what she actually wanted to ask. That there was any reason other than the most obvious one for him to have such a carefully crafted fake identity? As if they didn’t all know just what kind of people used these methods. 

“And I am afraid the bad news doesn't end here,” Aveline added. “We followed a few of the shell company's trails and looked into the details, and I’m afraid there is only a very limited group of people who are able to pull strings like this.” Aveline sounded almost apologetic, and a moment later Adriene drew in a sharp breath.

“You are thinking this is the work of the Order?”

Aveline nodded. “No other group has the same reach and the pull they have in Kirkwall. My best guess? He is somewhere higher up the ladder. They have fingers in every major smuggling operation in the city, white-collar crime, extortion, bribery… you name it,” Aveline voiced out loud what Cassia had already running through her head. “The only upside to this I can tell you is that, as you know, the Order is at least generally not a very violent organization. No outright murder, no big shootings, no torture, no gang violence, and so on. But other than that…”

There was a moment of quiet as Cassia’s eyes went back to the file. What was she supposed to do now? Only half an hour ago, she had felt like her life had never been better. Now it suddenly felt like the opposite.

“Alright,” Adriene suddenly cut through the silence. “Damage control!” She looked at Cassia. “Whoever he is, he knows your name and where you live, so we need to get you a new ID and a new flat. Maybe check into a hotel under another name for now?” 

Cassia blinked, trying to follow her sister’s fast-paced speech. 

“Aveline, can we get police protection for Cassia until we get everything ready? We need to think about…” Adriene paused for a moment, looking at Cassia with worried eyes. “Maybe we should pull you off this case entirely, get you out of the city. That would probably be the safest way.”

Cassia didn’t know what to say to all of that. She knew that what her sister said made sense in theory, but at the moment, everything felt just too much, too big for her to have a clear head about it.

“Adriene,” Aveline interrupted her sister’s planning. “Think carefully about this! There is another option that we shouldn’t ignore.”

Cassia felt a bit like she was watching a movie. Something that she just looked into from an outsider’s perspective and had no part in herself as she saw Adriene going tense.

“No!” her sister simply snapped, but Aveline didn’t let up.

“We have tried everything. You and your team have tried every possible angle, and so far you have come up with absolutely nothing. This…”

“This would put my sister in danger!” Adriene shot back. “There are other ways!”

Aveline shook her head. “Are there really? You know your boss has contacted mine, asking for an official evaluation about the merit of having your team in this city?”

From Adriene’s shocked expression, it was obvious that she hadn’t known about this so far. 

“Listen,” Aveline went on. “I don’t like this any more than you, but this is a chance. Provided that we can assume he likes her enough to keep seeing her?”

Everything felt somewhat surreal to Cassia as they kept talking about Cullen and their situation as if she herself wasn’t even present. 

“I am not going to pimp out my own sister to some potential crime boss so that she can do what? Get some sensitive information over pillow talk? No way!” Adriene said forcefully.

“I’m not suggesting she should sleep with him for information,” Aveline tried to reason. “But if he likes her, he might let something slip. Tell her things or take her places where she could see or hear something useful.”

Adriene only scoffed. “Come on, Aveline, you think he is interested in her because he wants to sip tea and hold hands?” Her sister looked on the brink of getting angry. “Sleeping with him for information would be exactly where this would end, and I’m telling you: No way! Especially not if we suspect Order involvement.” Adriene was back to looking over Cassia’s shoulder, reading some more of the file. “They might not outright murder people on the streets, but they do make them disappear nonetheless. If your hunch is correct,” she pointed out, “we’d be sending my sister right into the bed of one of the most dangerous people in the city, Aveline!”

One of the most dangerous people in the city… The words cut through Cassia’s haze like a knife. Adriene was absolutely right, everything involving someone like that would be ridiculously dangerous. Cassia started shaking slightly at the realization that, if Aveline was right, it already had been that way the entire time, she just hadn’t known about it. And because she hadn’t, it had felt like the opposite actually. He had saved her from that weird stranger at the club. Had stayed with her. She had felt absolutely and completely safe with him. All while… She closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying to hold it together and fight against the treacherous burning in them. No. She would not cry. She refused to. Not in front of anyone else at least.

“Aveline does have a point,” she said tonelessly, and just like that, the other two women seemed to remember that she was still in the room. 

“Cass…” Adriene deflated a bit, looking at her with so much concern that Cassia had to focus on Aveline instead if she wanted to keep herself from shaking again. 

“You know she does, Adriene,” she added, not looking at her sister, finding Aveline’s eyes instead. “But I have to be honest, I don’t know if I can do anything like you are suggesting. I don’t have the training. I don’t have the experience…” _‘And I might not have the conviction’,_ her head added quietly. 

Aveline’s eyes were full of understanding, but her pragmatism took over almost immediately. “We can do our best to prepare you. We know he is out of town for now, so we have a couple of days for that after all, at least until he comes back.”

“I hate this!” Adriene sounded helpless and frustrated. 

“Do you want me to put this down on record?” Aveline asked, and Adriene immediately shook her head.

“If we have me on file arguing against the only real lead we’ve had in months, I can kiss my job goodbye right now,” she huffed angrily. “I see your point, doesn’t mean I have to like it!”

“Me neither,” Cassia murmured before she stood up. “Aveline, I’m still not sure if I can do this, but right now? I want to go home. I need to be alone for a while.”

“Of course,” the other woman nodded. “I’ll contact you later with more concise ideas.”

Adriene stood up with her, already grabbing her bag. “Give her a day at least, alright?” she said before her comforting arm was around Cassia’s shoulders. “Come on, I’ll take you home!”

* * *

Cassia’s head had been alternating between running in circles and feeling blissfully empty ever since she had left Aveline’s office. Adriene had taken her home and stayed with her for a little while before she had to go and do some work, telling Cassia to take a few days off. Since her sister had left, Cassia had done nothing but sitting around and staring out of the window while her tea kept getting cold in her hands. There had been a message on her phone. From Cullen. A short answer to the text she had sent earlier in the morning.

 _‘Flight was fine. Arrived right into a work crisis._ _  
__I’ll call you once everything dies down.’_

She had stared at the message for far too long. Her mind was busy with going through every interaction they had, over and over again. From the first time she saw him in the club to the goodnight kiss he had given her only yesterday. Sure, she had noticed some things that stood out about him, but nothing that had really hinted at him being potentially dangerous. 

Cassia had gone over every bit of information they had about the Order in the past few months. Most of it wasn’t too detailed, but it spoke of a larger picture that was more than just concerning. If he was involved - and even at the top level - it just didn’t fit at all with the man she had gotten to know. He had seemed so open, straight forward, funny even. And most of all, he had been nothing but kind and generous around her. Had all of that been an act? A role he played when he wasn’t busy doing whatever he was probably doing right now? Cassia couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

She was torn from her thoughts when her phone started ringing and Cassia let out a sigh of relief as she saw the familiar name of her friend.

“Calling to check on me?” she asked without even saying hello as she picked up.

“You bet,” came Merrill’s voice from the speaker, and a moment later, her face appeared on the camera. “I heard from your sister what happened. How are you doing?”

Cassia shrugged, setting the phone up against the windowsill. “Not good.”

“Thought as much. Do you wanna talk?” She appreciated that Merrill was actually asking her instead of just assuming, but Cassia wasn’t sure if she actually wanted to.

“What is there to say? I thought I had met someone pretty amazing and it turns out I am just really bad at that people thing,” she said grimly, the weird mood that had been with her since her talk with Aveline finally catching up with her.

Merrill shook her head. “Come on, Cassia, that’s nonsense. You couldn’t have known!”

“I know. Doesn’t make me feel less awful.” Cassia felt that if there had been clear hints, clear signs she had just overlooked, at least she could have been angry at herself. Mad about being careless. It would beat the feeling of overwhelming sadness that was now there instead.

“So, Adriene also mentioned Aveline has a plan for you to fish for information and that you are considering it?” Merrill asked, sounding skeptical. 

“Something like that,” Cassia murmured. Merill gave her a knowing look.

“You don’t really want to do it, do you?”

Cassia was already shaking her head. “I don’t know if I can. But I feel like I have to?” She sighed. “Adriene has worked too long on this. We all have, but mostly her. There is so much at stake.”

“Cass,” Merrill said with a bit more force behind her voice than usual. “You are not responsible for your sister’s career or her work. And I’m pretty sure Adriene would back me up on this!”

And there it was. The point where her friend was only partly right. “I know I am not responsible,” Cassia answered. “Doesn’t mean that I am not the reason for our current situation.”

She could see Merrill’s eyebrows go up. “Ok, explain!”

For a second, Cassia hesitated. Only Adriene and she knew about this, after all. But then again, Merrill had become her closest friend apart from her sister, and she also worked with them. If anyone should know about this, it would probably be her. 

“It’s a longer story,” Cassia started. “Back when we were still studying, after we both went through the recruitment program, there was this guy I went out with a couple of times.”

“Ok, that was years ago, then,” Merrill noted. “Longer story indeed.” 

Cassia only shrugged. “I warned you! So, Owen was in the same program we were and he was… alright, I guess?” She knew how unenthusiastic that sounded, but Cassia didn’t have a better description for him after all.

“That doesn’t sound like an endorsement to go out with someone…” Merrill voiced her thoughts.

“You know me, I am not a social butterfly,” Cassia said, ignoring the little snort she heard through the phone speaker as she went on. “And I kept mostly to my studies. Everyone kept telling me I should get out more, so when he asked me out, I thought it would be a good opportunity.” She remembered all too well the feeling of being worn down by everyone’s expectations. “We went out a couple of times, but there was just nothing there between us. At least not from my side.”

Merrill looked like she already had an idea where this was going. “There was from his side though, I guess?”

“Mhm,” Cassia hummed in affirmation. “When I noticed that I simply wasn’t interested in him, I just went and told him. He… didn’t take it well. He decided he just had to convince me. First by sending me all sorts of letters and small gifts. When that didn’t work, he got… more physical.” 

It had been so many years ago, but Cassia still couldn’t stop the feeling of a cold shiver running down her back when she thought back to it. “One day he waited for me after one of my classes, and before I knew what was happening, I was in a supply closet with his tongue in my mouth and his hand in my pants. I panicked, bit him and when he let go of me, I pushed him away and ran.” 

Merrill didn’t say anything, but her eyes were full of sympathy. 

“After that, he became worse. He was everywhere. Always waiting for me somewhere, always watching me. I tried reporting him…” Another sigh left her as she remembered how useless that had been. How helpless she had felt. “But it didn’t do anything, I had no proof.” She had gone every official way she could think of, and none of them had led to anyone helping her. “One evening, I told Adriene about all of it, because I was terrified of going back home to my dorm room alone.”

That caused Merrill to speak up again. “You hadn’t told her before?” she asked, a hint of confusion in her voice. “Why not? You two are usually joined at the hip!”

“Stupid, right?” Cassia admitted. “But I felt so humiliated. And weak somehow because I didn’t manage to stand my ground against one single person.” There had been no good reason for her to keep this from Adriene, and yet she had held out a couple of weeks. “Adriene brought me home that night, and it was exactly as I feared, he was waiting for me in front of my door. He hadn’t realized at first that I wasn’t alone and said something pretty crude,” Cassia went on. “Adriene was just so furious… She jumped him, punched him right in the face. Twice actually.” 

“Go Adriene!” Merrill murmured dryly before looking at Cassia apologetically. “Sorry, not the point, I know! Did it help?”

Cassia chuckled at Merrill’s enthusiasm. “It did. At first. He left me alone after that. You know Adriene, she doesn’t hold back when she throws a punch. Broke both his nose and one of his cheekbones.” She could see a satisfied grin spread over her friend’s face. “And Owen couldn’t really report her, or he would have had to explain what he had been doing in front of my dorm in the middle of the night.” It hadn’t stayed this simple though. “He missed out on quite a bit of coursework, and in the end, Adriene graduated top of our class, and he wasn’t even in the top three. He absolutely hated both of us for that.”

“Oh no,” Merril sounded worried again. “Let me guess, you met him again, later on?”

“You could say that,” Cassia said dryly. “You’ve met him too. He signs your paycheck.”

“No!” Merrill breathed out. “Oswald? Owen Oswald… Our boss is your campus creep?”

Cassia nodded solemnly. “That’s a fitting nickname if I ever heard one.” She could see the questions on Merrill’s face and tried to elaborate. “Adriene went into fieldwork and was brilliant at it, Owen went into the administrative branch and had a steep career. Cue about one year ago, when they restructured some teams, and he became our boss.” It had been more than awkward and very quickly turned into outright hostility. “Ever since then, he has been trying to get back at her. First, he tried to transfer me off the team, but Adriene went over his head to his boss and stopped that,” she started listing the things that had happened since then. “A couple of months later, he had to approve my budget plan even though he really didn’t want to. That didn’t help, and now, he put us on an impossible mission that will most likely severely damage Adriene’s track record and her career…”

“Fuck!” Merrill exclaimed. “I’m so sorry! I never swear, but this is…” She shook her head. “Still, Cassia, he has been awful and your sister reacted. It’s still not your fault that you are in this situation now.” The look she gave Cassia was intense, trying to make sure she got her point. “It sucks, but you didn’t do anything wrong!”

“The fact remains that Adriene wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for me,” Cassia said with a shake of her head. “And it's not just Adriene’s job. It’s the entire team. A failed mission would reflect badly on all of you.” 

Merrill was quiet for a moment. Cassia was about to check whether the connection was still there when her voice came again. “Ok, I see where you are coming from. What a messed-up situation,” she said quietly.

“I know,” Cassia agreed. There were several levels of messed-up to her situation, and she didn’t know which one she should focus on first. “Merrill, I don’t know what to do…” she confessed. “I can’t leave Adriene hanging, but I don’t think I can do this either.”

“You’re afraid Cullen might see right through you? That you’ll give yourself away?” There was nothing but understanding in Merrill’s face. “That’s reasonable if he is what we suspect. Who knows what he might do if he catches you. I’ve read as much about this group as you have, this seems really dangerous.”

Cassia felt as if there was something stuck in her throat as she slowly shook her head. She could understand why Merrill’s thoughts went that way, but they weren’t at all similar to her own. “That’s not… I’m not afraid of him, Merrill,” she shook her head.

Merrill looked surprised. “You’re not?”

“That’s the problem,” Cassia muttered. “Or a problem at least. I am not afraid of Cullen, and it messes me up.”

“I’m afraid I don’t really get it,” Merrill said with an apologetic look. 

Cassia wasn’t sure if she could explain this to her friend. She wasn’t even sure that it made sense in the first place. Everything about it felt confusing. She tried anyway. “After Owen? I went out even less than before. Avoided dates for a good while,” she explained. “Later, I tried a few times, but mostly, when I met someone and they seemed interested, I got uncomfortable more often than not.” She let out a small sigh before she added, “But with Cullen? There was none of that.”

She could see the understanding well up in Merrill’s eyes. “You’re not afraid of Cullen…” she repeated Cassia’s earlier statement with raised eyebrows and a skeptical look.

“He kissed me and… well, more,” Cassia admitted quietly, biting her lip as she avoided looking at Merrill. “And the entire time, I felt completely at ease with him. More than ever before.” Cassia let out a dry laugh. “The irony is ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“A little bit,” Merrill agreed, looking like she wasn’t sure just what to think of the situation.

Cassia shook her head at herself, her own confusion about the situation stronger than before somehow. “I don’t know what it is about him, but he actually made me feel safe. And the thought of just going up to him and start lying into his face is… I don’t know if that is something I can do.”

“Damn, I wish I was on a break already,” Merrill said, sounding regretful. “I can’t really say anything that helps, and you look in desperate need of a hug!” 

“It helps that I know I can talk to someone, it really does,” Cassia assured her, trying to not get too emotional. If she started crying now, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to stop anytime soon. Merrill seemed to sense her mood.

“Cassia, I am so sorry. Sorry that all that shit has happened to you, and about everything that is happening now. I wish I could help more.” 

“Thank you!” Cassia said quietly. “As I said, it means a lot already that you listen.”

Merrill smiled at her. “Always! And I promise you: Whatever you want to do, I’m gonna be completely in your corner. I have your back, ok?”

“I love you, Merrill!” Cassia felt a surge of emotions run through her. She hadn't even known the other woman for that long, a little bit over a year perhaps, and yet she had quickly become the best friend Cassia could ask for. 

“Love you too!” Merrill grinned at her before something off-screen caught her attention. “Listen, I have to get back to work, but I’ll come by in the evening and I’ll bring Adriene and lots of ice cream!”

Cassia doubted that it would help the situation in any way, but the fact alone that Merrill was trying so hard to cheer her up made her feel a bit better already. “That sounds like a plan!” she agreed and when Merrill hung up, everything felt at least a little less bleak. 

* * *

A couple of days later, Cassia still felt no better about the situation. Despite Adriene’s protests, Aveline had started making some preliminary plans on how Cassia could go about this. Officially, nothing was decided yet, but Cassia knew that the time she had to think about this was running out quickly. Aveline’s plan was simple so far. Her suggestion was to take things very slow. Cassia should meet with Cullen like they had planned and not do anything at all different from what she would have done if she hadn’t known about any of this. For now, she would just be supposed to get to know him better. Meet with him a couple more times, and then slowly, subtly try to learn more about his involvement in the Order. Aveline had talked about potentially even gaining access to other people involved if she kept this going long enough, a suggestion that had Adriene frown and protest again.

On paper, it didn’t sound impossible to do. Even for someone like Cassia, who had only taken the most basic field agent education there was. If she put aside her emotions and looked at the plan objectively, she thought she might even be able to do this. But that technique never lasted very long. If the same plan would revolve around someone else, someone Cassia had no connections with, it would have been an easier decision. Then again, if that were the case, they wouldn’t actually need _her_ to do anything, they could have just sent Adriene in the first place.

Everything pointed towards Cassia not getting to pick and choose the ideal circumstances under which she would try her hand at a field mission for the first time. The deck had been dealt, and as much hope as Aveline was already putting in the possibility of this mission, Cassia felt that the cards were definitely not in her favor. How was she supposed to choose which person she should disappoint and let down more? Deep inside, she knew there should only be one true answer. Adriene had stood by her their entire life. Had been with her through everything. She had been there when their parents died. She had held Cassia through her first heartbreak. She had been right next to her, having her back all through university. In the end, Cassia could see no scenario where she would actively decide not to do the same for her sister. 

Perhaps she should speak with Aveline again in the morning. Cassia had done as Adriene had advised and taken a few days off to think about the whole situation, but with only three days left until she would be forced to make a decision, it was time to stop hiding away. Just when she was about to turn off her phone for the night, the display lit up and it started ringing. Cassia stared at it for a good few seconds as the name on the display sank in. Cullen. He was calling her.

She hadn’t heard from him much in the last few days. Nothing but the occasional friendly text after he told her about having some work crisis, and Cassia had spent a lot of energy on trying her best to not speculate about the many things he could have meant by that. But now, her phone kept ringing. Should she pick up? Cassia wasn’t sure if she could get through a conversation with him like everything was normal. She could pretend to be asleep already and simply ignore her phone, but part of her felt like a coward for even thinking that. How was she supposed to face him in a few days if she was worried about a simple phone call already? Resolutely, she pushed her worries aside and picked up the phone, trying to sound as normal as possible as she greeted him.

“Cassia,” came his apologetic sounding voice. “I’m so sorry that I’m only calling now. There was a lot going on.”

A lot going on. If that didn’t describe her week so far perfectly. “It’s alright,” she answered. “I had a lot going on here as well.” Despite her best efforts, she sounded just a bit shaky, and Cullen immediately picked up on that. 

“You sound… not quite as upbeat as you usually do. Everything alright?”

Damn him and the way he sounded so genuinely concerned for her. She had thought before that this would be hard, but that had been an understatement. Cassia tried to push all thoughts about Adriene and the Agency away for the moment. Just focusing on having a normal phone call with a person she had been looking forward to hearing from again. It seemed to be the only way she would be able to not mess this up by giving herself away.

“Yes, everything is alright,” she said a bit more calm, “Just… same as you. A lot of stress at work.” That sounded better already. “Was your work trouble resolved at least?”

“Not exactly.” He sounded a bit hesitant before he continued, “But I did what I could to deal with it, and now I’ll have to wait and see how it goes. I’m taking the evening off right now.”

Whatever his work problem was, it seemed to be something bigger, and Cassia could practically hear Aveline in her mind, nudging her to ask another innocuous question about it. She should, shouldn’t she? But something in the back of the conversation grabbed her attention instead. 

“What is that noise in the background?” Cassia asked curiously. Static? The connection was good and she couldn’t pinpoint it.

“Noise?” Cullen asked, sounding confused before he understood what she meant. “Probably the waves,” he explained. 

“You’re at a beach?” Now that he had said it, she could recognize the sounds.

“At a very pretty one actually, there is hardly anyone here, sun just went down…” She heard him let out what sounded like a content sigh. “Very peaceful, I think you would like it.”

Cassia was smiling at his description. “I definitely would,” she agreed. “As a kid, my parents had this beach house we rented every summer. There is nothing better than having the ocean right in front of you. You feel like you can just leave everything behind you and wander off to see where you might end up.”

Cassia was close to getting lost in fond memories as she heard Cullen chuckle at the other end of the line

“I hope that scenario includes a boat.” He sounded amused. “Because if you are just wandering aimlessly into the ocean, there’s no way I’m ever going to take you to a beach!”

She shouldn’t encourage any of this. Cassia was acutely aware of the fact that if Adriene would be listening to this conversation, she would give her a piece of her mind. And yet, part of her seemed to have no problem in ignoring all those rational thoughts. 

“You would want to take me to a beach?” she heard herself say before she could stop herself.

“I would send a private plane and pick you up right now if I didn’t have to work,” Cullen answered immediately. “In fact, I have half a mind to just ditch work and do it anyway.”

“You are not serious…” With anyone else, she would have just laughed this up as a joke, but given how their first date went, she wasn’t certain she could simply assume these things with him.

“I could be,” came his absolutely serious-sounding reply.

“Oh!” Cassia drew in a sharp breath. 

“You sound surprised at that.” 

“I… it’s just…” Cassia swallowed, not sure if she was impressed or annoyed by the way he managed to sound like she was the one being weird about this and not him. “We’ve been on one date. Maybe two if we count lunch,” she pointed out.

“I’m sorry,” came his voice, sounding immediately apologetic. “I go overboard sometimes, I know. Do you want me to back off? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No!” Cassia had already answered before giving it a second thought. “Not uncomfortable.” Immediately, she wondered why on earth she had just said no when it had been a prime opportunity for her to step on the breaks without having to make up an elaborate reason for it. He was very forward. It would not be unreasonable for her to feel at least a little uncomfortable. 

She _should_ be uncomfortable by this after all, but her first reaction had been true, she absolutely wasn’t. “Just… a bit overwhelmed?” she added, and like before, this too was the truth.

“Overwhelmed could mean a bad or a good thing,” Cullen said carefully, and Cassia definitely appreciated him giving her yet another direct opening to tell him to back off if she wanted him to. 

Her problem was that part of her really didn’t want him to.

Maybe it was time to admit, at least to herself, that she enjoyed the way he kept throwing her off guard far too much to tell him to stop. 

“It is not a bad thing,” she finally said. “It’s just not something I’m used to.”

Cullen hummed in understanding. “This beach would be nicer with you here,” he slid right back to the point that had started the whole thing, and Cassia chuckled. 

“At least Friday is not that long off anymore,” she pointed out. Apparently, she had just made the decision that their planned next date was definitely still going to happen in some form. It seemed that talking to him made things both more complicated and somehow incredibly easy on some level.

“Very true,” Cullen agreed. “I’ve been making plans for Friday whenever I could get away with not paying too much attention to a meeting.”

“Oh? Tell me about your plans.” Cassia couldn’t help her curiosity.

“They were mostly about dinner,” he said with a small laugh. “Well, there may have been some other thoughts.” His voice sounded just a little bit deeper now. “But that would be a decidedly different phone call.”

“A different call?” Cassia couldn’t completely follow his meaning, but she immediately felt the blood rush into her face as he explained.

“You know, the one that starts with _‘What are you wearing’._..”

“Cullen!”

“I think I can almost hear you blushing,” he said, and Cassia, in turn, felt like she could almost hear the grin he most likely had on his face. “Now I actually want to know. What _are_ you wearing?” he murmured into the phone, and Cassia briefly thought about telling him something ridiculous before she remembered the way he had looked at her during their date. Specifically when he had figured out what she had and had not worn underneath her dress, and she felt a shiver of excitement run down her back.

“A shirt,” she said plainly. “I was just getting ready for bed.”

“Just a shirt?” came his question almost immediately, and Cassia grinned to herself. Two could definitely play these games. 

“I don’t wear clothes to bed,” she said nonchalantly. “But my flat is kinda cold today, so at least until I’m under my covers…”

She thought she heard a small groan before he spoke. “Cassia, do you have any idea what you do to me?”

“I’m starting to get one…” Cassia mumbled more to herself than into the phone. This whole conversation was close to seriously getting out of hand, but she couldn’t deny that there was something exhilarating in knowing that she had such an effect on him. “To be fair, you asked!”

“I did, and I would just love to ask a lot more right now, but even though there aren’t many people around, I am far from being alone here,” Cullen said slowly. Did his voice sound just a bit raspier than before? Cassia couldn’t tell if it did or if it was just the phone connection. “But I’m definitely keeping this in mind for the future.”

“If you’re back in the city, there are much more convenient ways though…” Cassia couldn’t stop herself from teasing him just a bit more. The low rumble of laughter he let out sent a shiver through her.

“Ah, but there is something to be said for just hearing each other’s voice and nothing more.” 

Briefly, she thought back to their date, how he had whispered things into her ear that had made her face blush and her knees threaten to give out. Up until now, Cassia had never really gotten the appeal of it, but the way Cullen kept talking to her made her think that there was something to it after all. Then again, the way he had looked at her all through the date had definitely played another part.

“Perhaps,” she agreed finally. “Though there is also something to be said for being able to watch.”

“Good point,” Cullen murmured. He was speaking softly now, and Cassia was well aware that he was making sure no one around him overheard his side of their conversation. The lack of privacy didn’t seem to be a complete dealbreaker to him, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that yet. Not entirely negative at least. 

”Would you let me watch you then?” he suddenly asked, his voice in her ear pulling her out of those thoughts.

“Cullen!” she breathed out, trying her best to not sound too flustered. “I thought this wasn’t supposed to be _that_ kind of call…”

“It’s not,” Cullen chuckled lightly, but there was something in his voice that told her he was definitely not joking. Not completely at least. “Just planning ahead. So, would you?”

Would she? Cassia had never thought about this before, but now, her head started to fill with thoughts and images of Cullen watching her, his eyes following her every move, maybe talking to her in that delightful way that made her stomach flutter during it. Cassia’s eyes had fallen shut for a second, flying wide open again as she swallowed. Her voice was raspy as she answered, “I would let you.” 

“That’s certainly a thought to keep in mind then.” He sounded both excited and very satisfied at the same time. “I should probably hang up and let you sleep before we reach a point where I don’t care about my current location anymore,” he admitted, and Cassia took a deep breath, trying to shake the earlier intensity off and sound more lighthearted.

“I guess there are downsides to being at the beach then…”

A small laugh was her answer. “When you put it that way, there definitely are,” Cullen agreed. “It’s also getting late. I hope you can sleep well and I am looking forward to Friday!” 

Friday. For the moment Cassia refused to let any unpleasant thoughts spoil the moment as she agreed with a smile on her face. “So do I! I hope you’ll have a good night as well.” A spark of something devious went through her, and with a boldness that she only very rarely possessed, she lowered her own voice. “Good thing I don’t have the downsides of being on a public beach right now.”

“What?” Cullen sounded adorably confused for a moment, and Cassia smiled.

“I’ll leave it to your imagination what I am going to do after hanging up,” Cassia said vaguely, but it was enough to make it obvious to him.

“Cassia,” he sighed, a hint of disbelief in his voice, “you are deliciously evil!”

“See you Friday, Cullen,” she grinned before hanging up.

In the quietness of her flat, the upbeat mood from the phone call went away quicker than Cassia would have expected. It was far too easy to ignore the rest of the world when talking to him, but now that his voice was no longer in her ear, reality came crashing down on her again with a vengeance. She still hadn’t made a final decision, but what she had done was confirm their date with him. 

Adriene had suggested that Cassia should leave town, cut all ties and get away from the entire situation as far as it was possible, but as unsure as Cassia was about _some_ things, she was certain that _that_ was absolutely not going to happen. 

She would go on that date on Friday, one way or another. The only question, the hardest question, she still had to answer was how...


	4. A Turn Beyond All Reason

On Friday, Cassia was a nervous wreck for most of the day. She had held out deciding just what to do for so long, but after almost a week of deliberation, she had agreed to give Aveline’s plan a try. Under several stipulations. Cassia would be extra careful and not try active reconnaissance for now. She wasn’t trained for that after all. 

Her ‘job’ was simply to get to know him better, to act like she would have done if she hadn’t found out anything about him. If it should lead somewhere, get her some unexpected information, it would be good, but right now, she wasn’t supposed to go actively looking for anything. 

It didn’t stop her from spending the entire car ride questioning herself over and over again. Could she really do this? Or to ask the more important question: Did she really _want_ to do this? She liked Cullen. He had been nothing but charming and warm to her, made her feel special every single moment they had spent together. Granted, with all their suspicions, there was a chance that it had all been an act... but what if it hadn’t been? 

She shook her head at herself. Did it even matter? Even if it turned out to be not the worst case scenario Aveline suspected, he still wasn’t who he pretended to be after all. There was no way this could go anywhere. She shouldn’t entertain any thoughts about ‘what ifs’. Cassia wondered what it said about her that her mind went there anyway, and she squared her shoulders. Aveline was certain that Cassia could do this. They relied on her, so she would just have to. It was their first potentially big lead in months, after all. 

It didn’t stop her from calling Adriene one more time on her way there, though, confiding her renewed second thoughts to her sister. 

“Adriene, I am nervous,” she confessed to her sister the moment Adriene picked up. “I know I said I think I can do this, but…”

“You’re scared?” Adriene asked, voice full of understanding, but Cassia just shook her head.

“No. Yes. But no, that is not the reason.” Her sigh was heavy. She knew her sister wouldn’t like that next bit. “I really like him. And I think he likes me too? I just… I don’t know if I can lie to him. Part of me doesn’t _want_ to lie to him.”

Adriene was quiet for a moment, and Cassia half expected her sister to start telling her off about her highly questionable taste in men before Adriene simply said, “Then don’t.” At Cassia’s confused silence, she continued, “Look, I’ve been against sending you into this from the beginning. I get it! Separating yourself from everything to keep a clear head and not let your emotions influence you? It’s hard! That’s why there is so much training.” Adriene sighed through the phone. “If you want to back out, everyone will understand that you feel like this. You don’t need to prove anything, especially not to me, you know that.”

“I’m already at his place,” Cassia said slowly, “And he is expecting me…”

“Then go in, have a nice dinner with the man and then go home again. Ignore our plan, and tomorrow, we’ll see about coming up with a story for why you suddenly have to leave Kirkwall. Just… don’t do any of the stuff I would do,” Adriene said carefully. “Your choice really, and don’t worry, I’ll back you up with Aveline in any case, alright? You know I have your back.”

Adriene made it sound so incredibly easy, and when Cassia hung up, she was relieved for a moment. It was true. She didn’t have to do anything. No one could actually force her. She could just spend a normal evening with Cullen, go home and tell Aveline that she would have to excuse herself from the case because she was compromised. Her friend would be disappointed, but she would ultimately understand. 

Then again, a pesky voice in her head reminded her, they had worked for so long on finding a lead and had come up with literally nothing so far. As much as Adriene emphasized that it was Cassia’s decision, she knew just how much was at stake for her sister. With her inner conflict back to full force, she entered his building. Her heart was racing in her chest as she exited the elevator that opened up directly into the penthouse. All the confidence she had built up when talking to Adriene earlier had started to slip away bit by bit on her way up here. 

It looked like Cullen had been waiting for her to come up ever since the doorman had called up to inform him he had a visitor. He was greeting her with a smile on his face that made her stomach clench again. How the hell was she supposed to just lie to him?

Before she could let her mind spiral down into more anxiety, he was right in front of her, pulling her into his arms. She didn’t even get out a single hello before his lips were on hers, and he was kissing her breath away. 

Cassia could do nothing but melt into his arms with a gasp as she felt his hand wander into her hair, pressing her closer to him. He kissed her like they hadn’t seen each other in forever when it had only been a week. A week in which so many things had happened. The physical distance had made it so much easier for her to think of him in a more abstract way. Now that she felt his hand run along her sides and down her back, sending a shiver through her, the reality of her visit seemed too imposing to even think about. When he finally drew back, she could feel her breath going much harder than before. 

“I’ve missed you,” Cullen said in a low voice, looking at her with so much heat in his eyes that Cassia had to swallow.

“I… me too,” she said, grateful for sounding more together than she actually felt.

Cullen still smiled at her. “I know it was only a week, but I have been looking forward to this evening every night.”

She couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I know, so have I.” 

“Mhm… It was a dreadfully boring week, and I had a lot of time to think about this.” The smile on his face had turned into a telling smirk before he closed the distance between them again, kissing her once more.

“Let me just take your coat,” he said as they parted again. “And then we can have dinner.”

With a smile and a nod, Cassia shrugged out of her coat, letting Cullen take it and hang it up as she looked around his place. Everything was rather wide and open. Incredibly spacious. She didn't even dare to imagine what a place like this would cost. It was one of the tallest buildings in the city and they were right at the top. The outside walls of the living room seemed to be one big glass window from floor to ceiling. Something that would make it easy to feel observed if it weren’t for the fact that there was no other building that was even remotely the same height close to them. 

As Cullen promised, dinner was already set for them. Everything was so immaculate that Cassia briefly wondered if he had actual personnel for that. But there was no one around but the two of them, and he had specifically said he wanted to cook for her. After the first few bites, Cassia thought to herself that the universe certainly had it in for her. The food was absolutely delicious, and when she mentioned it, Cullen’s eyes lit up as he went into a passionate explanation about the recipe that turned into a delightfully hilarious anecdote about his first few tries in the kitchen years ago.

Their conversation during the entire dinner was just like the ones they’ve had before. Lighthearted, funny at times and most of it with an underlying tension, a sense of heat between them. Never before had flirting with someone felt so natural, so easy to Cassia. The more they talked, the more the decision solidified inside her. 

She would not go through with this. 

Could not go through with this. She would take Adriene’s advice and excuse herself from the mission, the team even, if she had to after this evening. Even if everything about that felt like giving up, she would revisit the thoughts about leaving the city altogether. After all, no matter her participation, Adriene and the team would still work on another plan to find out more about him and see if he was the way into the Order they were so desperately looking for. There wasn’t really any scenario in which a potential relationship between them could actually happen. 

Cassia wondered what it said about her, that she even had these thoughts. That she was disappointed about this when she should be put off by the fact that he almost certainly was a criminal. Potentially one of the more connected ones. The very penthouse she was sitting in right now alone spoke of a lifestyle that required a steady flow of way more money than managing a club would ever provide. And yet, a treacherously prominent part of her made her wonder if there was a way to make anything work between them. Wondering in vain, she very well knew. But wondering nonetheless. 

Across from her, Cullen was animatley telling a story about his travels. It was funny and charming, just as he was, and Cassia couldn’t help but smile and laugh along at his descriptions. Was any of it even true? She knew he had been at a beach that one evening, but other than that, she had no idea if anything about his work meeting was even remotely true. She found that she didn’t really care as she kept listening, asking inane questions and enjoying the conversation far too much. 

Why had anyone even thought for a moment she would be a good fit for this job? How had she herself even believed it for a second? She was absolutely horrible at this. Unable to be detached and cold. Unable to focus on any sort of mission. Unable to see him as a target instead as someone she really wanted to get to know better. 

When they were done and Cullen went to get another bottle of wine, Cassia got up, wandering through the spacious living room until she was at the glass wall overlooking the city. It was dark outside, the traffic and the signs and lamps far below shimmering and blending together into a pattern of lights that mirrored the night sky, only so much brighter in comparison. Here, inside the city, the stars were barely visible, but the fast moving flickering of a city that never really went to sleep were somehow just as fascinating to look at. She had gotten lost in watching the patterns move when she felt two arms around her, and she could lean back against Cullen’s warm chest behind her.

“The view from up here is amazing,” she said quietly. She could feel his head brushing against hers as he looked down onto the still busy streets with her.

“I know, looking down from up here almost feels like the entire city is yours, doesn’t it? It’s my second favourite thing about this place.” His voice was just as quiet as hers, as if he didn’t want to break whatever mood Cassia was currently in.

“Oh?” She perked up, curiosity piqued. “What is your favorite?” 

Cullen chuckled quietly, his tone low as he spoke softly right next to her ear. “The view from my bedroom…”

“Oh…” Cassia felt a shiver going through her at the obvious innuendo. One of his arms snuck around her waist, pulling her ever so slightly closer to him as the other went up her arm. 

“Cassia, have I told you before what I do for a living?”

The sudden change of topic threw Cassia off. She blinked, trying to follow his thoughts. It was clear he was waiting for an answer from her. “You manage the club we met in, right?” she asked innocently. She had a good suspicion of what else he might be doing, but the bit about his club was the only thing she officially knew after all.

“Mhm, I’m afraid that I wasn’t entirely truthful,” came his answer with a low hum, and Cassia felt her eyebrows rise up. Where was this going? “What I do has ultimately something to do with management and money mostly, but let’s just say it is not entirely on the legal side of things.”

Cassia gasped quietly. The way he said it was so casual that she first thought she might have misunderstood him. There was no way he would just come out and tell her, was there? She looked at the reflection of the two of them in the glass window, trying to make sense of this. But nothing she could see there could give her a satisfying answer. “And you are just telling me that?” she finally asked, her voice full of confusion.

Cullen’s voice sounded slightly raspy. “Look, I really like you. I think, this between you and me? This could be something more serious, and I want you to go into it eyes open, knowing the real me.” She could feel the warmth of his breath on her skin as he spoke, and she tried her best to not get too tense in his arms, to relax into his embrace and not let the unrest rising up in her show. This was not something she had anticipated. None of them had. On the contrary. Adriene had given her tips and advice before coming here. About what to do to gain his trust, about how to subtly stir conversations - but not too much - and most of all, her sister had emphasized that these things took time, and people like him, people so full of secrets, would take forever to open up. And here he was, straight up telling her he was involved in something illegal without her even doing anything at all?

“You are very quiet,” Cullen said after a while. “Does this change things for you? Do you no longer wish to get to know me?” He sounded so open, almost vulnerable to her as he asked the question she had asked herself before. A question her heart had already decided on despite what her mind kept saying.

“No! I mean, yes I do. But…” Cassia sighed as she tried to come up with something that explained her hesitation. Why couldn't she think of anything to say? “I’m just-” she started, unable to keep the nervousness from shining through her voice. “This is…”

“I am doing it again, aren’t I?” Cullen said with an apologetic tone in his voice. “I am going too fast and too far, and I am overwhelming you, I’m sorry.” His arm around her waist was warm and steady and his hand went soothingly up and down her arm. “I just…” He sighed. “I guess I didn’t want to go further into this and feel like I’m lying to you.”

All of a sudden, Cassia felt positively awful. He didn’t want to lie, and here she was, having come into his home with the sole purpose of doing exactly that. 

“It’s alright,” Cassia said, trying to not let her nervousness shine through. In the window, she saw his carefully guarded expression, and she hurried to add, “I’m sorry, I simply don’t know how to react to this.” With a shaky smile on her face, she covered his hand resting on her hip with her own, forcing herself to get her act together. “I appreciate the honesty though,” she said quietly. “But if that’s true, then it would probably be best if I know as little as possible about it, for your sake I mean, right?” 

She sounded much more together than a moment ago, but even with her calmer voice and her careful words, Cassia knew her flimsy attempt for what it was - a bad lie. But her current dilemma just confirmed her earlier thoughts. She didn’t want to do this. And if he told her too much, she would feel obligated to tell Adriene. To betray his trust. She felt almost stupid that it had taken her this long to actually make the decision. 

A dark chuckle pulled her out of her own thoughts. “What do you know...” Cullen’s arms around her held her a bit closer, his mouth almost at her ear as the tone of his voice subtly shifted. “You actually told the truth to your sister on the phone earlier.”

Cassia froze in his arms. This was not… No! All of her training and her preparation for the evening seemed suddenly far away, inaccessible to her as she realized what his words truly meant. “What?” she breathed, but her voice sounded shaky, even to herself. How did he know about that? 

“Don’t be so surprised,” he went on, his lips brushing over her ear as he spoke to her like he was still trying to seduce her. “I bugged your phone about a week ago.”

Cassia swallowed. He had known for that long? And had been listening the entire time? This was bad. She was in his apartment, without any weapons and with no backup coming, not even wearing a wire because they had been too worried that it might be found and give her away. She wasn’t supposed to check in with Adriene until the next day. Their entire plan had been based on the fact that he had no idea. Instinctively, she tried to put some distance between them, but Cullen’s arms around her tightened, not letting her move away. 

“Stay,” he murmured against her skin. “We are having such a pleasant conversation after all.” 

Cassia couldn’t suppress a shiver as his fingers ran along the side of her neck. “How did you…” was all she got out before she felt him chuckle against her.

“Your friend Aveline,” he said plainly, and Cassia tensed immediately. Impossible. Aveline wasn’t working with him. There was no way. Or was there?

“Oh, she is not one of mine,” Cullen said, sounding amused at Cassia’s reaction. “Half of her department definitely is, though, and when the names of one of our own come up in the precinct, I know about it.” He sounded far too relaxed at his next words. “Nothing happens in my city without me knowing about it.”

Cassia cursed inwardly. That was something none of them had anticipated. It begged another question though. 

“Names of one of your own?” she asked shakily. 

It only made Cullen chuckle again. “Ah, yes,” he said softly. “You don’t even know who exactly you are after, isn’t that right?”

Cassia swallowed as she realized something else. _‘My city’_ he had said. “Aveline was right then,” she said as her heart seemed to race inside her chest. “You _are_ part of the Order.” 

“It’s almost a bit unfair that I know so much about you, yet you know nothing about me, I agree,” Cullen said, and his warm breath ghosting over her skin sent a shiver through Cassia. “Well, to ease your mind, I believe your team wanted desperately to find someone high up in the Order so: congratulations, you found me.”

Cassia felt like her head was starting to swim, and she forced herself to stop breathing too harshly. On instinct, she tried to move again, but his grip on her, while not being painful, was completely unmoving. Despite her attempts to calm down, her heart was beating in her throat as the things she already knew came together. The limo with a driver, getting her an entire ballroom on short notice, the comment about a private plane and the sheer opulence of his apartment all painted a certain picture. 

“You’re not just high up,” she whispered, and a moment later, she practically felt his smile against her cheek.

“True,” Cullen admitted. “I am _very_ high up.” Cassia gasped as she felt his lips press a soft kiss against her jaw. “In fact, there is only one other person above me.”

Cassia blinked as his words sank in. Holy shit. She knew Aveline had hoped for a higher-up, but she also knew that this was way beyond even her friend’s highest hopes. Not that it mattered anymore, now that her cover was blown.

“If you knew about me, why did you even agree to meet with me again?” she asked, her voice uneven. “I could have been bugged or armed and ready to take you out, after all.” Even though Cullen’s arm around her felt hard as stone, his touches to her neck and her face were so soft that it wasn’t just her mind that was slowly becoming really confused.

“The elevator scans and neutralizes electronics I don’t want in my place, and you?” His hand brushed over the soft material of the blouse she was wearing. “You are definitely not armed,” he said, still sounding amused. Cassia’s eyes widened as she remembered his hands wandering all over her at their hello kiss. She hadn’t even noticed what he had been doing. “You’re not even a field agent,” Cullen went on. “That’s usually your sister, right? You, on the other hand, didn’t even go through any combat training...”

The way he just listed all those details made Cassia acutely aware of just how screwed she was. And just how much they had messed up the entire mission if he had this much information about her already. His hand wandered along her neck again and around her throat. He was gentle, but she couldn’t help the shiver of fear running through her at the gesture. 

“Relax, Cassia,” Cullen murmured, tracing a line along her collarbone with his finger. “I am not trying to hurt you.”

“And I’m just supposed to believe that?” she got the words out with only a minor shake of her voice.

“You should.” His voice was still low at her ear, his breath hot against her face. “If I wanted to harm you, you would have never gotten out of that elevator and into my apartment. Trust me.”

Cassia shivered again. She was unsure if it were his words or his body against hers that had her skin covered in goosebumps. She looked at their reflection in the window again. The way he held her, they looked like a perfectly content couple. If one managed to ignore the look of panic on her own face. 

“So what is this,” she asked, forcing herself to sound more confident than she was. “A test of some sorts?” 

Cullen’s lips had been at her neck, ghosting over her skin, barely touching her. As if they weren’t in the middle of a deeply uncomfortable conversation. She could feel his smile against her at her question. 

“Of some sorts,” he agreed. “I wanted to know what you would do if I offer you information.” Another kiss onto the sensitive spot on her neck, and Cassia couldn’t hold back a small noise as his teeth scratched lightly over her skin. “I meant what I said earlier, though,” he added in a low voice. “I really did miss you.”

Cassia felt her breath hitch at his words, and before she had even thought about it, she tilted her head as if to give him better access. “So what happens now?” she asked.

“That depends entirely on you,” came Cullen’s answer. She could see he was looking at their reflection as well, seeing the questioning look all over her face. 

“You didn’t actually go after me,” he explained slowly. “So for now, I’m not going to hold your plans against you. Not after you so obviously didn’t want to go through with them.” 

It sounded almost too good to be true, and Cassia wasn’t sure she should blindly believe it. “So what, you are just going to let me go?”

His hold on her softened. His arms were still around her, but she could tell there was no tension behind them anymore. “If you actually want to leave, you can. I won’t stop you, and you have my word that I will not come after you, provided you don’t get involved in anything concerning me again, of course.” 

He sounded remarkably sincere, and Cassia was asking herself why she was still standing motionless against him. Why wasn’t she pushing herself away as fast as she could? Part of her knew why, had heard in his tone that this was only one of the options. 

“ _If_ I want to leave?” Through their reflection, she could see his smile turn into a smirk as his hand wandered down, fingers playfully circling the top button of her blouse. 

“You could, of course, decide to stay and see just where the evening might lead instead, now that the cards are on the table and we leveled the playing field a bit,” he murmured, and his words sounded so full of promise that Cassia shuddered again. 

“Seems to me like it’s pretty obvious where it might lead,” she shot back, gasping as he undid the button he had been playing with before. “And the cards are not on the table at all,” she added almost as an afterthought. “You know all about me, and I, apparently, know nothing about you. That’s not an even playing field.” 

“I guess you’ll have to keep playing then,” Cullen said with a slight hum to his tone as he went on to the next button. “Maybe the answers you want are right in front of you.” He undid the third button, slipping his hand inside her blouse and cupping her breast through her bra.

“So you are totally fine with me having spent most of last week on planning how to lie to you best?” she murmured in between breaths that were getting heavier with every move he made.

“I have wanted you since that first night we met, and I wasn’t lying when I said I thought about this evening every night during my week away,” he said so matter-of-factly that Cassia didn’t know just what to think about that when he added, “Finding out who you are hasn’t changed that.”

“It hasn’t?” she asked full of disbelief. Her eyes found his in their reflection, and the intensity of his look made her shiver. 

“If anything, it has made this much more interesting,” Cullen said, still smiling while Cassia couldn’t help the obvious look of surprise on her face. “I have read every single file your agency has on you,” he went on to explain. “You’ve had a remarkable career. Upstanding. Exceptional sense of duty and, how did they phrase it? _‘An unwavering respect for rules and authority.’_ ” 

He held her closer to him again, his voice almost a whisper in her ear. “It’s fascinating. On paper, you are a remarkably good person, and you can probably guess enough about me by now to realize that I am… not. And yet—” His teeth grazed at her earlobe, pulling slightly until an unwitting small sigh fell from her lips before she could suppress it. She could see Cullen’s eyes darken in their reflection, an unmistakable sign of his satisfaction at it. “You still want me.” Cullen’s voice sent a shiver through her with those words. He pulled her bra down enough so he could circle his fingers around her nipple, gently tugging on it until she let out a moan, instinctively grinding her ass against where she could feel him pressed against her. The whole situation had Cassia beyond confused by now. Part of her was still terrified and yet she felt her own arousal grow by the minute. Her entire body felt tense, prepared to break free and run and at the same time ready to fall apart under the gentlest touch. With a shock she realized that the very real danger she was in wasn’t battling her arousal, it was heightening it. Making every teasing touch feel far better than it should. 

“Tell me,” he urged her on. “Do you feel bad about this? About wanting this even though you know exactly who I am?”

For a moment, Cassia wanted to lie. Come up with a whole story about how awful she felt, how conflicted she was and how this shouldn’t happen. Or better yet, deny that she wanted this in the first place. But she hadn’t wanted to lie to him before, and this one in particular felt more like a lie to herself if she was honest. 

“No,” she admitted quietly. “Even though I know I should.” 

“I’m glad you don’t,” Cullen murmured into her ear again, and Cassia could hear from the satisfied rumble of his voice just how much he liked her answer. “So, what is it going to be? Do you want to leave or are you going to stay?” His other hand wandered down her half-opened blouse, playfully tugging at the next button. 

Cassia’s breath hitched as she watched him closely through their reflection. “Isn’t it rather obvious by now?”

“Mhm, I’m afraid I really need you to clearly say it at least once.” Cullen hummed against her ear before undoing another button. “I prefer clear statements rather than just _implied_ consent.”

She shivered again as she felt his fingertips brushing over her stomach, slowly trailing down. “I don’t want to leave,” the words rushed out of her. “I want to stay here, with you.”

The moment she said the words, Cullen undid the last button and her blouse fell open. He shifted slightly and with a tug pulled it off her arms and let it fall to the floor. Cullen’s fingers danced over the newly discovered skin, and Cassia couldn't stop watching his every move in the window. It felt surreal and far too good, being so exposed, looking outside and past their reflection, down onto the city while he was carefully undressing her. One of his hands had snuck in between them, and she felt the clasp of her bra being undone, and then the garment followed her blouse onto the floor. 

She must have said at least some of her thoughts out loud, for Cullen caught her eyes in the window, holding her gaze as he cupped both her breasts now, teasing their tips with blissful pressure. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “Even if someone was up at this height they couldn’t see inside.” She could feel his teeth on her neck again, and when he bit down just the slightest bit, Cassia let out another moan. 

Suddenly, his hands were gone, and he turned her around to face him. The look on his face was so much more intense up close, and before she could think about it, her arms came up and around his neck and she pulled him closer until she could kiss him. When their lips touched, there was nothing slow or careful about their touches anymore. His tongue slipped into her mouth, and Cassia felt her knees growing weak as sparks of lust ran through her entire body. With a low groan, Cullen grabbed her so they were flush against each other, and Cassia could feel his arousal through their clothes.

“No more games, please,” she mumbled between heated kisses as she tried to get his shirt open. Cullen laughed quietly as he took a step forward, then another, guiding her along until she suddenly felt the cold of the glass window behind her back.

“No promises,” he said as one of his hands disappeared under the hem of her skirt, “After all I’ve already put so much planning into playing with you all night.”

Cassia wanted to shoot a smart remark back at him, but the hand slowly running up the inside of her thigh thoroughly distracted her. His mouth was back on her throat, and she turned her head enough so he had easier access. From the corner of her eye, she could still see the flickering lights of the city shining in the distance. Despite his assurance that no one could possibly see them, it felt strangely exciting to feel like they were in plain view of the entire city. “You are certain no one can see us?” she asked again, just to be sure.

“Yes,” Cullen said in between kisses down her collarbone. “I am absolutely sure. Don’t worry.” Suddenly, he paused, drawing back just a bit to look at her. “Or perhaps you aren’t even worried at all?” he asked, his voice teasing, and Cassia drew in a sharp breath. “Perhaps the idea of being in plain view is not as unappealing as you thought?”

Cassia swallowed hard as she found herself nodding just the tiniest bit, and the heated look Cullen gave her made her throat feel dry. 

“Aren’t you just full of surprises,” he grinned, and the look of pure want mixed with obvious delight on his face made Cassia feel bold.

“You are wearing too much,” she simply answered, and this time when she went for his shirt, she managed to find the buttons easily. Once Cullen understood what she was doing, his hands flew up to help her. When she was finally able to push his shirt down his arms, feeling his skin against hers, it was like a switch was flipped, as if both of them had suddenly decided that getting rid of their remaining clothes took top priority. Harsh moves and frantic tugs replaced the careful touches and soft kisses as he pulled down her skirt and her remaining underwear in one go.

Cassia had managed to open his pants despite the distractions of his touches, but she was more than grateful when he decided to help her. When he finally crowded her back against the window, she felt heat running down through her entire body at the feeling of his naked skin pressed against hers. But before she could really get her hands on him, he was moving again, holding her back against the glass as he sank down in front of her. Cassia was still trying to catch up when he grabbed one of her legs and lifted it up over his shoulder, sending her a devious grin that had her still gasping for air when suddenly his mouth was on her. 

With a dull sound, her head fell back against the window as his tongue breached her folds, finding the already swollen center of her pleasure. Cassia bit her lips at the strong surge of desire working through her body. Mindlessly, her hand went into his hair, pulling slightly as she desperately tried to steady herself. Cullen moaned at her in response, stronger even when she did it again a second time, sending more sparks of heat through her. 

Cassia was already close when one of his fingers slipped inside of her, and she lost all control. Her chest heaving with ragged breaths, she pushed herself onto his eager tongue. Her whole body was shaking, trapped between his hot mouth and the cold glass, and a moment later, her hands pulled at his hair nearly uncontrolled as she cried out in pleasure. Her eyes fell shut as she shivered through the aftershocks.

Cullen twisted slightly, letting her leg slide down until she stood on both of her feet again before he got up, his hands never leaving her. 

Without thought, she reached out for him, pulling him against her to kiss him deeply. The taste of herself in his mouth sent another spark of heat through her. Now that her ability to think clearly was slowly returning, the thought of reciprocating the favor was foremost on her mind, but Cullen seemed to have different plans. Before Cassia could even think of moving, he was turning her back around. His hands ran down her arms until he reached her wrists and placed her hands firmly against the glass.

“You said something about feeling exposed and how surprisingly good it felt earlier,” he answered her unasked question in a low voice before his hands slid down her body.

“You said no one can see us,” Cassia said softly between still ragged breaths.

“Still true,” Cullen’s voice sounded lighthearted, teasing again. “But it’s so easy to pretend like this, watching the city outside, isn’t it?” His words send shivers through Cassia as she couldn’t do anything but nod.

“Just imagine,” he went on, sounding more than a little rough by now, “if anyone _could_ see us right now, just what a sight they would get.” His hand slipped down her stomach and in between her legs, pushing them apart just a bit further before his fingers teased over her most sensitive spot again. If she focused on their reflection, she didn’t even have to imagine. She could see right in front of her eyes just what a picture she made. That they made together. 

Cassia let out a whimper at the sight. Cullen was looming over her, his broader frame almost engulfing her smaller one with his hair tousled from where her hands had been gripping it tightly. One of his arms was around her chest, his fingers running along her throat and her eyes were glued to them, following them along as they dragged over her skin. It was nearly surreal watching what he was doing to her while feeling it at the same time. When her eyes went up again, she saw that Cullen was watching her intently. The look of pure want on his face sent heat pooling between her legs. There was a hint of his earlier, self-satisfied smile on his lips, and his mouth opened slightly, letting out sharp and heavy breaths as his other hand skimmed lower until it dropped in between her legs. Through it all, Cullen didn’t seem to be watching what he was doing to her, he seemed completely transfixed on watching her reaction instead. His eyes didn’t leave her face, and Cassia swallowed dryly at the heat in them. When his fingers found her center, immediately starting a teasing dance, Cassia pressed her forehead against the cool glass and shut her eyes for a second. 

“Open your eyes,” Cullen whispered, and she was reminded of that moment in the ballroom. He had wanted to see her, to watch her every reaction back then as well. With a soft moan leaving her at the memory of just how much he had enjoyed watching her lose herself, she pried her eyes open again. His skin felt warm against her back, and she shivered at the feeling of his hard length rubbing against her ass. When two of his fingers suddenly pushed inside of her, Cassia twitched under his touch, crying out. 

“Cullen, please!” she barely got the words out before he twisted his hand just right, sending another bout of need through her body.

“Do you think we should maybe take this to the bedroom?” he asked, sounding like the very picture of innocence. Cassia made a noise of pure distress as she felt his hand retreating. 

“No,” she burst out. “Don’t you dare stop now!”

Cullen chuckled as he kept moving against her. “Then what do you want me to do? Tell me!” 

Cassia was quickly losing whatever composure had come back to her. She needed him to get his hands back on her. No, not just his hands. She needed all of him. “Fuck me, Cullen,” she found herself begging. “Please!”

“Right here? In front of the entire city? How scandalous,” he whispered right against her ear again. Cassia was on the brink of begging him a second time when he moved despite his teasing words, and a moment later, she felt him at her entrance, the tip of his cock finally breaching through her folds and slowly pushing into her, and she let out a relieved sob. 

When he was fully inside her, Cullen stilled, and she could feel him shiver against her for a change. “Cassia…” he murmured, and for a moment, she was almost overwhelmed with the pure need she heard in his voice. 

When Cullen finally started moving, Cassia wished she had something to hold on to, clenching her hands against the smooth glass surface of the window instead. His thrusts were long and deep, and it didn’t take him long to figure out just the right angle to make her moan out loud with every move. Cullen’s hand was suddenly between her legs again, and his fingers found just the right spot, teasing her along with every push. Despite having just come, Cassia could feel the beginnings of another orgasm building up quickly. The combined sensations of his thrusts and his hand on her made her unable to do anything but push back into him again and again. In front of her, the city lights were still flickering in the night.

Cullen’s voice was still low but undeniably breathy as he spoke again. “Still enjoying the view?” he murmured. The raspiness of his voice sent goosebumps all over her skin as some pieces of their earlier conversation suddenly fell into place. _‘Nothing happens in my city without me knowing about it.’_ he had said. _‘Looking down from up here almost feels like the entire city is yours.’_

“You mean looking down at your territory like a king from his castle?” she got out, sounding surprisingly stable in between moans.

Cullen let out a surprised laugh, before picking up his rhythm. “Look at you, trying to figure me out…”

“Like this isn’t a demonstration, a power-play even,” Cassia huffed and was almost impressed with herself for still being able to listen to him, to answer somewhat clearly while he was already close to making her see stars again. 

Cullen’s grip on her tightened as he was getting close. “Oh, Cassia,” he murmured against her ear. “You got me all wrong.” 

Before she could even think about an answer he pushed into her deeply. “This is not a power-play,” he whispered. “This is an offering.” And just like that, his fingers touched her just right, and she came even harder than before, the pleasure running through her making her unable to do anything but buck helplessly in his hold as he sped up one more time and joined her just moments after.

When Cassia came down from her second high, her mind was far too muddled to even think about the implications he had just made. No, that would be something to think about another time. For now, she was just content to bask in the feeling of the afterglow. When she finally took her hands off the window a while later, she could see two rather prominent handprints before she turned around to face him again. 

“Now, we can take this to the bedroom,” Cassia said simply, not willing to let the evening and whatever was happening between them end just yet. Her legs were slightly shaky from all the tension leaving her body, and Cullen only grinned at her as he noticed. Without warning, he swept her up into his arms. 

“You’re going to love the view in there, too,” he promised her with a smile that sent another shiver through Cassia. She had no doubt about that.


	5. The Harsh Light Of Day

When Cassia woke up the next morning, it was to the warmth of the sunshine that flooded the entire bedroom. It was so bright that it took her a moment to take in her surroundings. She was in Cullen’s bedroom. In his bed. She had spent the entire night with him. Even after… Her heart beat a bit faster as everything that had happened the evening before came back to the forefront of her mind. He knew all about her. He was part of the Order. And not just any part. Out of all the people in Kirkwall she could have spent the night with, she had spent it with someone who was probably the second most dangerous person in the entire city. And he knew she had been sent to spy on him. 

Carefully she sat up, looking around the room. None of her clothes were there, they were probably still lying around all over the living room. If she got out of bed now without waking him, could she manage to get dressed and leave in time before he woke up? There was another question on her mind though: Should she? He had offered to let her leave last night after all. To not come after her if she stayed out of his business. Cassia didn’t know why exactly, but she had believed him. He would have kept his word had she taken up his offer to leave. She hadn’t though. She had stayed.

Quietly, she let out a deep breath, not quite ready to deal with the fact that despite everything, despite how bad an idea all of this had been, she still really didn’t want to go. She looked down to where he was still peacefully sleeping next to her. His face was unguarded and soft in sleep, and a surge of affection went through her. She put her hand out and let her fingertips run along his jaw, through his disheveled hair. When she looked at him like this, she couldn't believe that this was a person who led a criminal organization. Who might have literal blood on his hands. An uncomfortable shiver went through her at the thought, but before she could follow it further, Cullen moved and opened his eyes, and the smile that appeared on his face as he looked up at her was blinding.

Cassia felt the bed shift slightly, and a moment later, he was sitting up behind her, close enough so she could feel the pleasant warmth of his chest against her back. 

“Morning,” he said, his voice still somewhat raspy from sleep before he placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder. “Slept well?”

Cassia leaned back into him almost instinctively as she looked outside through the giant windows surrounding them and nodded. “I slept really well. And you were right, the view is even better from this room.”

“Mhm, especially today!” Cullen chuckled against her, and Cassia had to smile. The relaxed atmosphere didn’t last long for her, though, as thoughts about just what she was supposed to do now came back to her almost instantly.

“You are worried,” Cullen murmured as she kept quiet. “About what happens now, I assume?” He shifted again and a moment later, he settled comfortably against the headboard, nudging her along to join him. Cassia let herself be pulled into his embrace again. The feeling of his arm around her was oddly calming. It really shouldn’t be, Cassia thought, but it somehow was regardless.

“If I got up and tried to leave right now, would you still let me go and not come after me?” she found herself asking the question that had been keeping her busy the most.

Cullen sounded a bit surprised as he answered, “Of course, that offer wasn’t time-limited.” Cassia let out a sigh of relief before she could stop herself, only realizing now how much that question had actually worried her. Cullen’s hand that had been caressing her arm suddenly stopped. “Wait, did you think it was an either-or situation last night?”

“I…” Cassia stumbled over her own words for a moment, her first instinct being to downplay her reaction. To tell him she had absolutely not been worried at all. “I honestly wasn’t sure,” was the more truthful answer that came out instead.

“And you still stayed?” Cullen sounded slightly shocked. “You are… either insane or incredibly fearless.”

“Definitely insane,” Cassia murmured before focusing back on the main issue. “But for real though, what now?”

Cullen’s hand had started to gently caress her arm and shoulder again as she felt him relax. “Now you tell me if you want to walk away from this or if you want to keep seeing me.”

“How would that even be possible?” Now, in the morning light and with a much clearer head, all Cassia could think of were the many things that would stand in the way of that. The many reasons why it would be a horrible idea.

Cullen gave her a measured look as if he already knew where her mind had gone. Not that it was particularly hard to guess in their case. “We’ll make it possible,” he said, sounding determined. “But that’s step two. First, I’d have to know if that’s something you would even want.” 

Something in his voice sounded absolute. Like he was one hundred percent certain of their ability to make it work, and Cassia shook her head in fascination. “You are not really used to not getting your way, are you?”

“Not really, no,” Cullen’s answer came plainly. “But we are not talking about me right now.”

Cassia raised her eyebrows. “Shouldn’t we, though? I mean this is not just about me, right? I don’t even really understand what it is you want?”

Cullen seemed almost confused for a moment as if he hadn't really anticipated her asking him that question. “I thought I was quite obvious about that last night. I want _you_.”

“You’ve had me,” Cassia pointed out, ignoring the renewed feeling of want simmering inside her. “Several times actually.”

“Not just for a night of sex,” Cullen gave her a pointed look, and Cassia couldn’t help but send him a teasing grin. 

“That was way too intense to call it just a night of sex!” she insisted with a chuckle.

“It definitely was,” Cullen agreed. “But I want all of you, and for much more than one night.”

There was another feeling spreading through her, quite different from the very obvious lust she had felt just a moment ago. Something warm and gentle. And terribly confusing. This wasn’t just about physical attraction. She had known that, despite her better judgment, it definitely went beyond that for her, but she hadn’t been so certain about him. Sure, he had been obvious in his interest, but Cassia had to admit that a part of her had been wondering if it was perhaps more about proving to himself just what he could get away with than it was about her as a person. _‘I want all of you, for much more than one night’_ definitely sounded like it was all about her after all. A memory from last night came back to her. _‘This is not a power play. This is an offering,’_ he had said, and Cassia shuddered as she realized that the thought wasn’t as uncomfortable as it should be.

Adriene would be furious with her if she knew any of this. And for good reason, Cassia very well knew. She really shouldn’t entertain these thoughts, not when it was looking more and more likely that he had been implying exactly what she had first thought he had. He wanted her to stay with him. _‘An offering.’_ She shouldn’t find the thought as confusing as she did. It also still left them in a situation that felt impossible in the first place. 

“How would that even…” she started, but Cullen interrupted her almost immediately.

“No, we’re not talking about the how and the maybes right now,” he shook his head. “First, I _need_ to know if you would even want that.”

Cassia blinked at him, not sure why he was being so adamant about this. He had been like that last night, too, she remembered. Insisting on her saying out loud that she definitely wanted to stay. _‘Clear statements rather than implied consent’._ She could give him that. “I would,” she said plainly, before shaking her head with a sigh. “Even though every rational thought tells me not to.”

A wide smile spread over Cullen’s face and something flickered in his eyes. But it was gone immediately before she could even try to figure out what it was. “That is… good to know,” he said slowly as he turned over enough so he could place a short but sweet kiss onto her lips, and his voice made it more obvious what she had been unable to clearly see in his eyes — relief. As if a layer of tension had been shaved off.

“Doesn’t change the fact that it’s unrealistic,” Cassia sighed as he drew back, her mind already back to worrying about their impossible situation. “Horribly so in our situation, I mean, I can’t lie to my sister...” She stopped talking the moment she saw Cullen’s face change. He was amused, looking at her fondly with a raised eyebrow. “What?” Cassia snapped.

Cullen chuckled against her. “It’s just a bit funny that this is where your mind goes first, and not to the fact that I am at the top of an organized crime syndicate that you are supposed to take down…” 

Cassia tried her best to ignore the sly grin on his face as she huffed quietly. “You just had to rub that in again, didn’t you? Fine, I am a horrible person!”

He laughed softly. “Welcome to the club then.” At her still sour expression, Cullen turned serious again. “But jokes aside, I actually have an idea I want to run by you.”

“Oh?” Cassia visibly perked up at that. “You do?” Briefly, she wondered why she felt surprised at that. He had told her yesterday that he had known about her for a week already. That alone would have given him ample time to make plans. To assess the situation from all angles.

“I’ve read the files you and your team collected for your investigation,” Cullen said just at that moment, and Cassia’s eyes widened. Their systems were very well secured, and high-level access was severely limited. 

“How?” she asked, the surprise and the sudden unease unconcealed in her voice. “How the hell do you have access to these things? Do you just freely rummage around in our database?”

With a chuckle, Cullen shook his head. “No, I don’t have an all-access pass to your database, sadly enough. Your agency is way too well secured for that,” he admitted. “If you only want very specific information, though, well, there are ways and people for that.” 

Ways and people… That didn’t sound very forthcoming, but Cassia wasn’t sure what she had expected. 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Cullen said with a click of his tongue. “I told you, nothing happens in this city without word getting to me, didn’t I?” With a shrug, he went back to the original topic. “I read those files, and I know you are not actually after me specifically. What you ultimately want is bigger fish. You want the person above me.”

Cassia only nodded slowly. He wasn’t wrong about that. 

“Getting her on something you can actually make stick, get her convicted of something? That should probably get your team the arrest of a decade,” Cullen said with a pointed look. 

“Her?” Cassia asked, her eyebrows raised, and Cullen grinned widely at her.

“Oh, have I let something slip?” he asked innocently, shifting and drawing her closer until his mouth was at her ear. “How’s that for gaining valuable information over pillow-talk,” he murmured, and Cassia shivered slightly as the peculiar mix of a sense of danger and excitement from last night returned.

Cassia licked her lips, letting her fingers run down his chest before she whispered, “You think you’d give me a full name in the afterglow if I repeated the performance from our first date and sucked you off right now?” 

With a soft groan, Cullen closed his eyes for a moment. “Tempting!” When he opened his eyes again they were full of mischief. “Very tempting, if only to see how far you’d go for that information.”

His eyes bore into hers, and Cassia swallowed as she asked herself the same question. She highly doubted that the tiny bit of information he had just given her had been an accident. Nor did she expect him to let anything slip out of carelessness. No, this was a game they were playing. A game she was still trying to figure out the rules for but that somehow excited her to no end.

“Before we start working out these details though, you should maybe listen to my proposition first,” Cullen said at that moment. “Because I think I might be able to help you.” He sounded dead serious all of a sudden. “And you in turn, well, can help me.”

Even though she had started to anticipate this, it was something else to actually hear him say it out loud, and Cassia felt her mind racing. “You are really thinking about selling out your boss?” she asked, disbelief coloring her words.

Cullen didn’t seem to be conflicted at all about this. He simply shrugged. “She’s done her job well, but she has done it for a very long time,” he explained casually as if he were talking about something as banal as the weather. “A bit too stuck in old traditions for my taste. And I am not the only one in the organization who thinks like this.”

Now that was something that Cassia hadn’t anticipated, but it made sense if she thought about it. As the second-in-command, he knew the organization inside and out, had virtually unlimited access to everything inside. If there was anyone who would know about dissent in their ranks, it would be him. It might even fall into his job description to deal with such people when the issue arose after all, but from what he just said, there were definitely more people who thought like him and that he hadn’t disposed of. Which could really only mean one thing. “You want to take over for her…”

Another casual looking shrug. Cassia wondered if he was really as blasé about this as he appeared to be or if he was just that good of an actor. “Not the entire organization,” he waved his hand. “Too big for my tastes. You could take down a sizable chunk of it with her, and I’d be absolutely fine with that.”

“And in exchange for your help, you want the agency to turn a blind eye…” Cassia said speculatively. Cullen nodded at her with a smile, obviously happy that she followed his thoughts along. She could definitely see the give and take in such an arrangement. But then again, she was hardly unbiased in this case. “I don’t know if they would go for it,” she admitted honestly.

“They might if one of their top analysts thinks it could be beneficial,” Cullen said smoothly, and Cassia’s eyes widened. He was talking about her, wasn’t he? “So do you? Think it would be beneficial?” he added a moment later, confirming her thoughts. 

She tried to ignore the goosebumps that crawled over her skin again as his hand wandered from her arm down to her stomach. If she thought about this rationally, or at least as rationally as she probably could under current circumstances, he did have an angle here. Deals that left highly questionable people in power were done every day, all over the world. And whoever was above him was definitely the bigger fish, and she knew her entire department would probably go through quite a lot of deals to remove someone like that permanently. Not to mention the credit the entire agency would get for this arrest. Their team specifically. The credit Adriene would get for leading this operation.

“Statistically, even the biggest arrests ever made never really wiped out organizations completely,” she muttered some of her thoughts out loud. “And if they cripple one, the power vacuum usually attracts more trouble than before. So if we could take down the head and cut the organization’s size down, it would still be a success unlike any we’ve had in years.” It would be a compromise, but one in which everybody would look like a winner. Especially to the outside world.

“That’s a lot of words for saying ‘this could work’...” Cullen grinned again as his hand came around, cupping her cheek and turning her head towards him.

Cassia refused to let herself be distracted by the gesture. “So what,” she asked directly. “We date, you help me get my sister the arrest of a lifetime, and I help you get a non-traditional promotion?”

“Not quite as non-traditional in my field really, but ideally? Yes,” came Cullen’s answer, an amused twinkle in his eyes before he got a bit more serious again. “But just to be clear: The offer of taking down my boss does not rely on you agreeing to keep seeing me,” he said slowly, making sure he had her full attention.

Cassia blinked, feeling a bit thrown off again. “It doesn’t?”

“No,” Cullen shook his head. “I’m not saying that it wouldn’t be convenient and that I wouldn’t prefer both of these things happening. But I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything with me just to get to her.” All the earlier amusement and teasing were completely gone as he fixed her with an intense look. “If we do this, then _this_ ,” Cullen gestured between them, “ _Us_ , is separate from that. I need you to know that you can walk away from any sort of relationship we have at any time without throwing away your work.” 

He looked so damn serious when talking that Cassia needed a moment to actually process this. “You know, for an evil underworld crime boss you are surprisingly considerate.”

Cullen shrugged again, sounding as casual as he had before as his hand trailed down her body, leaving a trail of goosebumps as it smoothly brushed over her side. “I might not be a very good person, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be somewhat decent when I want to.”

“When you want to?” Cassia asked, an eyebrow raised, and a sly grin returned to Cullen’s face.

“You do make me want to do quite a few things,” he said in a low voice, and Cassia gasped slightly as his fingers slid along her leg, drawing enticing patterns on her skin before slowly moving up and fluttering over her stomach. 

“Just when it comes to me then, huh?” That was some textbook compartmentalization, Cassia thought to herself. Not quite unlike some of the things she had learned in the academy. Or some of the things Adriene regularly employed. 

Cullen gave her a long look before he nodded again. “Does that bother you?”

It was Cassia’s turn to shrug. “Surprisingly way less than it should if I’m honest.” She still didn’t know why exactly, but even knowing all she had learned about him since yesterday hadn’t really changed her opinion of him all that much. Perhaps she herself was slowly getting the hang of this compartmentalizing as well. The grin on his face turned almost obnoxiously cheerful at her words, though. “Oh, don’t look so smug”, Cassia huffed, “Maybe you are just really good in bed, and that is all I’ve been looking for, ever thought about that?”

Cullen laughed outright at her chiding tone. “Judging from the way you practically begged me to fuck you last night, I’d almost believe that in a heartbeat,” he said with a wink, and his hand on her stomach wandered up just enough to tease the underside of her breasts, his touch a little bit more insistent than before. “But then again, you came to our first date without wearing underwear and let me thoroughly explore that fact before you knew that, so…” 

“You are awful!” Cassia playfully pushed against his chest which only caused him to let his hands wander even more.

“Mhm, and you really like that about me,” he murmured before his fingers closed around the tip of one of her breasts, pinching an already hardened nipple and causing her to let out a soft moan.

“Crap, I really do…” she admitted as she leaned closer to him.

A moment later, Cullen was shifting them, moving her along until she lay flat on her back as he hovered over her. “So,” he breathed out. “We have a plan then?”

Cassia smiled as she looked up into his eyes and nodded. “We still have to discuss a lot of details and I would need more information about which part we would take down... but it's worth a try.” She let her hands trail up his arms until her fingers could bury themselves into his hair. “As for us,” she added slowly, watching the flicker of desire rush over his face at her words, “That could maybe be worth a try as well.” She finished her sentence with a wink, and the mixture of want and fondness on Cullen’s face nearly took her breath away.

“Now that we’ve decided that you stay for a while longer, what do you think about me making you breakfast?” he asked invitingly, and Cassia had to consider the offer for a moment before she shook her head. 

“Later!” she insisted as she pulled him down on top of her. “For now I am more interested to see if I can get that name out of you.”

A flicker of understanding was in Cullen’s eyes before a devious smile spread over his face. “I was going to give you something to take back to your agency to show I’m serious in any case, but now?” His hands grabbed her, and she could see his muscles tense before he flipped them over. Nails raked over the skin of her thighs as Cassia found herself settled on top of him, and she felt the heat pool between her legs at the way he looked at her.

“Now you’ve decided against that?” she asked as she leaned down and started a trail of kisses down his chest. She was starting to get the hang of this game between them, and he seemed definitely delighted to play it with her.

Cullen let out a satisfied sigh, his hand finding its way into her hair as she kept moving down. “No,” he said, his voice a little rougher than before. “I’ll give you what you want.” The double meaning of his words wasn’t lost on her and when Cassia looked up at him, she could see the heat in his eyes. “But first,” he said as his hand cradled her head, pushing her further down toward his already hard and dripping cock, “I am going to enjoy making you work for it.”

* * *

Cullen did make her breakfast, after all, a good while after he had made the initial offer. It was more than an hour later that Cassia found herself sitting in his kitchen, wearing the shirt she had pulled off him last night as she finished the last bits on her plate. 

She should probably check her phone. A look at the clock on the wall turned that ‘probably’ into a ‘definitely’ as she realized that it was closer to midday then to morning. 

“I need to call in,” she informed Cullen. “My sister is probably getting worried by now.”

“You should then,” he said lightly, as if their whole tentative plan was a casual everyday occurrence. Cassia wondered, not for the first time, if he really was this casual about it or if it was a carefully crafted facade. She suspected the latter, but if she was right about that, she had yet to find even the hint of a crack in it. 

“You want me to get out of your hair for that?” he suddenly asked. “I was going to take a shower anyway.”

Cassia shrugged, not really minding either way. She highly doubted that he wouldn’t know what was being said on the phone, whether he was physically present or not.

“Should I fill you in later or should I just assume you somehow record everything and not bother?” she asked, not managing to keep her tone from sounding slightly flippant, but Cullen didn’t look like it bothered him at all.

“You should _always_ assume that,” he said, giving her an intense look. “Saves you a lot of unpleasant surprises.” 

Cassia shook her head in disbelief. “Now that’s just paranoid,” she mumbled. He was close enough again that Cassia was tempted to reach out and let her fingers run through his hair once more, but she held herself back, trying to focus on what she had wanted to do — calling her sister. 

Cullen had no such qualms, and he chuckled as he pulled a strand of Cassia’s loose hair back and tucked it behind her ear. “Can’t deny that,” he agreed as his fingers caressed her ear before gently trailing down her neck. “But paranoia is sometimes necessary. You never know when there is a government agency trying to infiltrate your home after all…”

“Alright, fair point,” Cassia murmured before she stepped out of his reach and started to look for her purse. 

Cullen was already back to being busy with putting the remainder of their breakfast away as Cassia fished out her phone from her bag and scrolled down her contact list. There were several missed calls from Adriene already, and Cassia felt slightly guilty for not calling her sister first thing in the morning like she had planned.

“Cass!” came her sister’s relieved voice from the other side of the line as soon as she had picked up. “What the hell happened? Where did you go last night?”

“What do you mean? You know where I went,” Cassia replied, confusion welling up in her. What was Adriene talking about? “I called you from the car?”

Her sister’s voice sounded slightly aggravated. “Yes, and shortly after you hung up, your GPS went out and even your passive tracker was suddenly gone. I tried calling you almost nonstop…”

“I’m fine,” Cassia assured her sister. “I promise.” 

Cullen was suddenly next to her, taking her empty cuffy cup, silently mouthing _‘more coffee?’_ at her, and Cassia nodded before focussing back on her sister.

“Listen, Adriene, there are a lot of things I really need to tell you,” she started only for her sister to interrupt her.

“Same here, I went over everything we planned so far again last night, and I’m in Aveline’s office right now, double-checking some things with her,” Adriene said. She still sounded very on edge, and Cassia could practically see Adriene pacing back and forth in front of her. From the slightly nervous jitter in her voice, her sister probably had slept little to nothing last night, running on caffeine and worry alone. “Aveline has a few ideas for… wait, what is that noise?”

“Espresso machine,” Cassia mumbled, and the fact that the line was completely quiet for a small moment was not reassuring.

“Cassia…” Adriene said slowly. “Are you still at his place?” Before Cassia could answer, her sister already continued, “And is he making you coffee right now? He is in the room?”

Cassia sighed. She should probably have led with that, or at least with something that immediately explained the situation at least somewhat. “As I said, I need to tell you things,” she repeated her statement from earlier. She heard her sister rummaging around on the other side of the line, and when Adriene spoke again, she sounded even more tense.

“Cass, I still can’t see you on the GPS, what is going on?”

Cassia’s eyebrows went up. She shouldn’t be surprised by this, and to a degree, she found that she wasn’t. Not at his level of security, not after what he had mentioned last night. What still surprised her though was how little they had planned for such eventualities.

“There is probably a signal blocker somewhere around here,” she suspected. “Something that jams the GPS.”

“There is,” Cullen said plainly as he put down a fresh cup of coffee in front of her. “I’m not very fond of tracking devices in my home.” 

Adriene was very quiet again on the other side of the phone, and Cassia started to feel slightly nervous, suddenly wishing she had just sent a text instead. Without any further comment, Cullen left the kitchen, probably to go and take that shower he had talked about, and Adriene’s side of the call was still eerily quiet.

“So,” Cassia swallowed, taking a deep breath. “Funny story…” This was _definitely_ the thing she should have led with. “Cullen knows.”

“He what?” Adriene tonelessly asked. “Can you get out of there right now?”

Cassia hurried to calm her sister, “No, Adriene, it’s fine. I am fine, I’m not in any danger at the moment.” Taking advantage of the fact that Adriene seemed momentarily speechless, Cassia quickly explained some of the things that had happened the day before to her sister.

“Nothing you just said makes me any less worried, Cass!” her sister interrupted her again not much later. “You are telling me he knew when you got there?” She didn’t wait for an answer. Cassia could hear how worried she was, even though her sister did her best to stay as calm as possible. “And let me get this straight, he told you all of that and tells you you are free to go, but somehow, you are still there?”

“Are you absolutely crazy?” came Aveline’s voice through the line all of a sudden. Either Cassia was on speakerphone or the other woman had understood enough from Adriene’s reactions to realize what had happened. Aveline sounded just as aggravated as Adriene was. “He knows, you had a chance to get away, and instead of doing that, you _slept_ with him?”

Cassia spluttered, almost dropping the coffee mug at the direct callout from her friend. It took her a second to find her bearings again. “You had zero problems with the prospect of me sleeping with him to get information…” she pointed out. “Seems a bit odd to be upset about that part specifically.”

She could hear her sister say something to Aveline, something she couldn’t quite make out, but when Adriene was back talking to her, their friend stayed quiet. 

“Alright, what does he want? Is this a hostage situation? Does he have any demands?” Adriene sounded almost calm, down to business, donning her best professional agent voice, and Cassia sighed.

“I am not being held against my will, Adriene,” she said, sounding rather tense herself now. “Can you both let me finish my explanation first? Please.” Something in her voice must have given her sister pause, for Adriene was quiet for a moment before murmuring, “Go on then.” 

_‘Finally,’_ Cassia thought before she started to explain what she and Cullen had talked about this morning. Knowing Adriene and just how worried her sister most likely was, she was definitely impressed by not being interrupted again until she was nearly finished.

“He is offering up his boss?” Adriene’s voice was full of disbelief. “I don’t trust this one bit.”

“Adriene…” Cassia tried to appeal to her sister. “Think about what we could gain from this!”

“I have!” Adriene said, her tone clipped. “And I am saying no way.”

Aveline had been quiet in the background for the last few minutes, but now, Cassia heard her speak up again. “Adriene, this might be our best chance. We should at least, I don’t know, listen to what he has to say?”

Her sister was turning away from the phone, but Cassia could still understand every word she said to Aveline. “I’ve already agreed once to let you put Cassia in danger, I’m not doing it again,” Adriene said plainly, but her voice left little room for argument.

“I am not in danger, Adriene,” Cassia tried to reason again. “At least not from Cullen.” 

“Of course you are, Cass!” her sister suddenly said a tad sharper than before. “You are blind to the fact that you are because he is manipulating you! Don’t you see that?”

“If he really wanted to manipulate me, it would have been way easier for him _not_ to tell me that he knew,” Cassia pointed out.

Adriene let out a frustrated sigh. “Ok, fine, you have a point there,” she grudgingly admitted. “But what if he is still doing it?” It wasn’t a completely unreasonable suspicion, Cassia had to admit. “What if it’s all one big game to him? For a plan only he knows about? Or for his own amusement?”

“No,” Cassia disagreed, trying to make her sister understand. “He isn’t like that.”

But Adriene was relentless. “Do you know that for certain or is that what you really _want_ to be the truth?”

It wasn’t that she couldn't understand why her sister was so on edge, but Adriene didn’t have the whole picture after all. _‘And you have it?’_ an unbidden thought asked. Did she really have more solid information than Adriene, or was her sister right and Cassia was all too willing to let herself be blinded? 

“Fine, this time, you have a point,” Cassia mumbled. “I don’t know for certain. But I…” She trailed off, not quite sure if she really wanted to finish that sentence right now.

Adriene had no such qualms. “You trust him!” she said sharply.

Cassia was a bit taken aback by her sister’s tone. “Wow, way to make that sound like an accusation…”

“It _is_ an accusation,” Adriene mumbled more to herself than to her sister before cursing quietly. “Cassia, I can’t in good conscience—”

“Meredith Stannard,” Cassia said simply, pulling out the last argument she had left.

For a brief moment, the line was quiet before Adriene’s confused voice could be heard again. “The deputy mayor? What does she have to do with any of this?”

Cassia couldn’t fault her sister for not following her. Nor for not immediately making the connection given on what they just talked about. It had taken a moment to truly sink for Cassia too in when Cullen had told her earlier.

“That’s who he is offering to us,” Cassia clarified. “Meredith Stannard is the head of the Order.”

The line was awfully quiet again before Cassia could hear Aveline quietly cursing in the background. 

“How did you find out?” Adriene asked, sounding as unsettled as Cassia herself had felt at the information. 

“You were expecting me to get some potential secrets over pillow-talk, didn’t you?” Cassia said in a rather unsuccessful attempt at humor. A moment later, she cleared her throat. “I think Cullen meant this as a show of good faith, to let you know he is serious about this offer,” she explained.

“Shit.” Adriene sounded incredibly frustrated. “If this is true, then… Fuck, this situation is so messed up. Everything about this is too risky.”

She wasn’t wrong. No matter how much Cassia believed Cullen when he said he had no intention of harming her, it didn’t change the fact that everything about the situation remained full of unknowns and full of risks. “The question is: Can we afford to sit back and not take risks?” Cassia asked Adriene plainly. “Not a single other thing has worked so far. We haven’t gotten anywhere on our own…”

Adriene took a moment before she answered. “Damn it…” she cursed again. “I hate the fact that you are not completely wrong.” Her unhappiness about the situation was almost palpable through the phone. “I still have half a mind to simply put you on the first plane out of the city.”

“That’s not your decision to make, Adriene,” Cassia said, sounding sharper than she had intended to. She knew her sister only had the very best intentions, only wanted to keep her safe, but the thought of getting sidelined and pulled out of the whole thing right now filled Cassia with a strong feeling of resistance. “Look,” she started, “if it helps, meet him with me. In person. It’s all very theoretical over the phone after all.”

“I still don’t like this,” Adriene sighed, “but yes, let’s do that first. We’ll set something up. Somewhere neutral, we are not meeting on Order turf or anywhere he has an even bigger advantage than he already has!”

Her sister was already deep in planning mode as Cassia agreed. “I’ll talk to him and call you back later.” For a moment, it felt like Adriene wanted to say something more, but she let out the air she had been holding with a sigh.

“Fine, call me back. I’ll try my best to hold back on mounting a rescue mission.” It was a poor attempt at a joke, and Cassia knew even Adriene was aware of that as her sister hung up, and Cassia stared at her phone for a while.

She wasn’t sure if that talk went well or not as she put the phone aside. A meeting, all three of them together… Depending on how confrontational her sister was feeling, that could become a rather tense affair. And that was only the variables Cassia definitely knew about. She had no idea how Cullen would behave in such a situation after all. 

_‘You are not really used to not getting your way, are you?’_ she had asked him earlier in the morning, and it had been obvious that he wasn’t. That could provide more than just some conflict potential. With a sigh, Cassia put the empty coffee mug into the sink, trying to stop herself from overanalyzing the situation. She had too little information to get to a useful conclusion so far. Adriene was definitely not the only one who fell into _‘work mode’_ rather quickly once there was an issue to be solved. 

She went back into the master bedroom to check if Cullen was done so she could talk to him. The door to the bathroom was slightly ajar and she could hear the shower still going. She could start to look for her clothes that were probably still somewhere in front of the living room windows while she waited for him. Or she could just…

Cassia looked down at herself, and with a shrug, she pulled off his shirt, throwing it onto the bed before stepping into the bathroom. A shower sounded like a great idea, especially after how they had spent most of the night. Cullen didn’t look surprised at all as the shower door opened and Cassia slipped inside with him, stepping aside just enough so she could step underneath the stream of warm water.

“I was hoping you’d join me.” Warm hands slid over her, gently drawing her against him, and Cassia felt herself immediately relax into the embrace.

“My sister is not happy,'' she murmured. “She wants to meet you.”

Cullen hummed affirmatively. “Not surprising. When?” He reached past her, and a moment later, he drew her hair aside and started soaping up her back and her shoulders. 

“As soon as possible and somewhere neutral,” Cassia replied, her eyes falling shut under his ministrations. “I said I’d call her back after speaking with you.” She let out a quiet sigh as his hands slowly roamed all over her body, the soft feeling of a warm washcloth sliding over the sensitive skin of her breasts. Every movement Cullen made felt full of intent, yet surprisingly unhurried.

“Choose a time and location then,” he murmured behind her. “I’ll make time whenever you need me to.”

Of course he was perfectly accommodating. If only she had a little bit more of an idea if this was just something very _him_ or if it was for her benefit. Adriene’s words still ran through her mind. 

Cassia was used to saying what she thought. Lying to people wasn’t in her nature and she had always preferred directness. Combined with how strangely safe Cullen managed to make her feel most of the time, despite everything, it meant there was even less of a filter between her thoughts and what she said out loud than usual. Her first instinct had been to be worried about that. But the longer she thought about it, the less dread she felt. It wasn’t as if she would suddenly become a great liar or a master manipulator herself. If anything, that was his territory, and she had no illusions of outmaneuvering him at something he had clearly more experience in. It left her with only one way to go forward. Honesty.

“She also thinks you are manipulating me.”

He stilled briefly. “And what do _you_ think about that?” he asked, and something in his voice sounded very careful, like he was trying to hold something back.

“I think you are remarkably good at deflecting,” Cassia mused. 

“You think I have an ulterior motive?” Cullen let out a dry laugh as if the thought alone was ridiculous to him. “I don’t know if you can call it ulterior,” he said slowly as he nudged her to let her head fall back before grabbing the shampoo. “I’ve been very upfront about what I want from you, haven’t I?”

Cassia’s eyes were still closed as she enjoyed the feeling of his fingers massaging her scalp. “You said you wanted me and for more than a night,” she pointed out. “Which is still rather vague…”

She felt him shift, and a moment later, the water was much closer to her head as he rinsed out the shampoo. Then, the shower head was put back in place and his hands were on her arms, turning her around to face him. 

When she looked at him, she found herself fascinated with watching the water droplets running over his face and down the side of his neck. “Cassia…” he said so softly that his voice was barely audible over the noise from the water. “You weren’t really listening.”

“I was listening just fine,” she said calmly. “But for someone who insists on me saying things clearly rather than implying them, you seem to expect me to read between the lines a lot…”

“And here I thought I was beyond obvious…” Cullen murmured before shaking his head. “Alright, fewer insinuations and more directness, that’s what you want, right?” he asked, not sounding entirely sure if it was what Cassia expected to hear, but she nodded, looking at him curiously.

“Is that out of your comfort zone?” Cassia asked, and the brief twitch on his face, a subtle raise of his eyebrows that was gone after a short moment told her much more than she had anticipated.

“Certain habits may be more ingrained than others,” Cullen admitted, sounding almost a bit surprised. 

They should probably get out of the shower, Cassia thought for a moment. They were clearly done and getting deep into the territory of mindlessly wasting water, but something about the atmosphere kept her from saying something. As if in here, in the privacy of the shower, everything was a bit more raw. More open. Like he was wearing less armor than he had before, and Cassia would be damned if she didn’t take the chance in front of her.

“Last night,” she went directly to the point, “you said it wasn’t a power play. Are you sure about that?” 

Cullen’s eyes were intense as he looked at her. “I got the feeling that you are not really someone who can be impressed with wealth or power,” he said plainly. “So no, it really wasn’t supposed to be.”

His hands had settled on her lower back, slow, slippery caresses moving up and down. Where earlier and last night, his roaming hands had been mostly distracting, making her unable to focus on anything but his touch, now they were nothing but calm, grounding even.

“You’re not asking me what you really want to know, though,” Cullen remarked, looking at her with a curious expression.

He was right, Cassia thought, pushing herself out of her own comfort zone, out of the comforting bubble of ambiguity. He could have meant a number of things after all. She could have vastly overinterpreted what he said. Or…

“What exactly were you offering?” she asked, putting it out there.

“Everything.” The sudden, raw look Cullen gave her sent a shiver through her in its intensity. 

“Cullen…”

“You really need me to spell it out for you?” he said, his voice sounding a bit rough now. It had sounded like that last night as well, she remembered. When he had watched her reflection in the window. Cassia realized that it seemed to turn that way when his overly calm demeanor started to slip. “I told you that I want _you_ , all of you. That is not a one-way street,” Cullen added at that moment. He gave her a look that went through her like fire. “It means I’m offering you everything I have in return.”

Cassia swallowed as it dawned on her that she hadn’t overinterpreted anything. 

“That’s… a lot, Cullen!” she breathed out, blinking some stray drops of water out of her eyes as she was trying to wrap her mind around the magnitude of what he was saying. 

“I know,” he answered, his eyes not leaving hers even for a moment. “If our plan works, and Meredith is gone, the organization cut in half, your sister making the triumphant arrest she so desperately needs… what do you think happens after?” 

Cassia suddenly realized what he meant. “Reassignment...” Whether they could strike a deal or not, there was no way the agency would turn a blind eye to any relationship between them. “You would want me to stay with you?”

He nodded. “I know you are unhappy with your job, and I am offering an alternative.” 

An alternative. Leaving the agency. Cassia was overwhelmed again, too many thoughts vying for her attention at the same time. She must have looked as lost as she felt for his hands were suddenly on her shoulders, a calming anchor for her to focus on.

“Let’s first get this plan on the road and done,” Cullen said quietly. “One step at a time. But once we’re finished with that? When your reassignment to another case is imminent, I _will_ ask you to stay with me.” 

_‘That’s what I get for asking for directness and no insinuations,_ ’ Cassia thought. “I do still get to make a choice though, right?” she asked softly, and Cullen’s hands on her shoulders twitched slightly. His eyes were intense and at this moment, Cassia was completely certain that there was absolutely no duplicity between them, no second thoughts.

“Always,” he assured her. “It will be your decision, Cassia, and even though I obviously have a very clear preference, I will accept it.” For a moment, they just kept looking at each other, still standing under the spray of warm water, neither one wanting to break the moment as Cullen’s hands wandered up her neck, pulling her close enough so she could feel his breath on her skin. “Doesn’t mean that I am above trying to sweeten the offer,” he murmured before closing the last bit of distance between them to kiss her.


	6. Clear As Diamonds And Fragile As Ice

They met up with Adriene on that same day, in a rather quiet pub in a part of the city Cassia couldn't remember ever having been in before. There weren’t many people around at this time of the day with lunchtime being just over. Which had at least partly been the point of choosing this place. Not being overheard seemed to be the highest goal for people who came here. The moment they went in, there was a subtle check for weapons before they were even allowed further inside. Adriene was already sitting in a small corner booth, waiting for them.

Everything about the meeting was as tense as Cassia had feared it would be. Her sister was on her guard, and Cullen had somehow become almost unreadable. Every bit of relaxed openness from earlier that day was completely absent as he explained his plan and his ideas on how to hand over Meredith to the agency with a deceptively calm voice. He knew what documents they needed, where they would be kept, and how to get to them, and Cassia could see from her sister’s subtle change in posture that Adriene slowly went from being overly dismissive and skeptical to interested and actually considering it.

“It does sound like a solid plan,” Adriene admitted reluctantly after a prolonged moment of silence. “Though I would be decidedly more at ease if we could leave my sister out of it.” She had kept looking back and forth between them ever since they had arrived, watching every move, every interaction like a hawk. 

“You are worried. I can understand that, but I promise you, Cassia is completely safe with me, I’ll make sure absolutely nothing can harm her,” Cullen tried to assure her, but Adriene only shook her head.

“You have some gall talking like it isn’t _you_ that I’m worried about in the first place,” Adriene replied without missing a beat.

Cullen gave her a measured look. “You are not convinced I am not somehow forcing her into this,” he voiced his suspicion out loud, and Cassia could see on Adriene’s face that he was right. With a sigh, he got up. “I’m going to get something to drink from the bar, give you two some time to talk alone.” And with that, he left their table.

The moment he was gone, Adriene’s eyes were on Cassia. “So, tell me what you actually think!” she urged. It was clear she had been waiting for an opportunity to talk to Cassia without anyone else present for the longest time.

“I think it's a solid plan,” Cassia said simply. “One that could work.” She couldn’t quite read the look she got from Adriene. “I meant what I said earlier, Adriene,” she added quietly, “I am fine, I am not in danger, and nothing happened against my will.” 

Someone who knew Adriene less well would probably not have noticed any difference, but Cassia could see the very subtle shift in her sister, the almost unnoticeable breath of relief she let out at her words. Cassia had no doubts that Adriene had been fully prepared to fight them out of this situation if Cassia would have given her any indication about it being necessary.

“You are really certain about this?” Adriene asked, and Cassia nodded. 

“I can’t explain it very well,” she said apologetically. “Everything is a bit much right now, and a lot has happened, but I promise, I’ll tell you all the details later.” 

“You know I need all the info I can get, right?” Adriene asked as Cassia watched Cullen standing at the bar, exchanging a few words with the bartender before she shook her head. 

“I meant all the stuff that has no business being in official reports,” Cassia said quietly, avoiding to look at Adriene’s face, but her sister was as perceptive as always.

“Oh, Cass,” she sighed, sounding almost resigned. “It really is like that, isn’t it?” She shook her head. “You can’t just do the smart thing and get out now and forget all about him, can you?”

Cassia’s throat felt dry as she finally met Adriene’s eyes, only to shake her head. “No,” she said quietly. She wanted to say more, give her sister a better explanation, but there were no words that felt even remotely accurate at the moment. How was she to explain something that she didn’t fully understand herself yet?

Adriene let out another resigned sigh. “I thought so. For the record: I think it’s a really bad idea, but I also know you well enough to not try to interfere,” she said grimly before trying her best and give Cassia an encouraging smile. It looked more like a grimace, but it was the thought that counted.

“So I guess we are going through with your plan,” Adriene addressed Cullen the moment he came back to the table. “There are not many other options, and with our boss breathing down my neck, threatening to check up on the operation in person, we actually need results.”

Cassia looked up in alarm at those words. “In person? When did he say this?”

Her sister shot her an apologetic look. “This morning. I had a charming phone call waiting for me when I got to the office.”

Cassia tried her best to remain calm, to not let herself start to fidget, but the few encounters she had with Owen since he had become their boss had been unpleasant each and every time, to say the least. 

On the seat between them, Cullen’s hand was suddenly warm on hers, calming her down considerably with the simple gesture of lightly squeezing her hand.

“I’d actually suggest letting your boss come here,” he said, sounding deceptively casual again. “Let him get a good impression of what you are up against. Someone could show him the ins and outs of the city.” There was something in his voice that made Cassia’s hair stand up in the back of her neck, it got even more intense as Cullen continued, “I’m certain it could be quite the experience for him…”

“Cullen!” Cassia hissed quietly, trying to push away the complex feelings his not so thinly veiled proposal stirred in her. “Do you want Adriene to shut this operation down right now?”

“No, no…,” Adriene intervened, and to Cassia’s surprise, she looked almost amused. “This is actually the first thing you said that makes me not completely dislike you,” she said in an aside to Cullen. “As a sister to Cassia, I mean. As an agent, I have to officially warn you off!”

She shot Cassia a sympathetic look. “Don’t worry about Owen, though, I’ll deal with him if it comes to it. You won’t even have to see him.” 

Cassia nodded in relief as Adriene checked her phone.

“I’m sorry, I have to call Merrill back real quick,” Adriene suddenly excused herself, getting out of the booth. “Something’s come up, I’ll be right back.”

Cassia looked after her sister’s retreating form with a hint of worry. If their boss was getting this impatient, it meant that they probably shouldn’t lose too much time. She was about to tell Cullen so when something else about the topic caught her attention.

“I haven’t actually told you anything about Owen,” she pointed out quietly. 

When she looked up, she saw something like regret on his face. “No, you haven’t,” he confirmed, and Cassia suddenly understood where he had gotten that information from.

“I told Merrill over the phone,” she realized. She hadn’t even thought about that before. Cullen had told her clearly that he had bugged her phone about a week ago, and it had completely slipped her mind.

“That was actually the very first conversation I heard from you, and the one that told me who you are and work for,” Cullen said softly. “I know it doesn’t change anything, but I really wasn’t trying to find out something _that_ private about you.”

Cassia let out a huff of air. “Finding out private things is what happens when you listen in on private conversations,” she pointed out before letting out a sigh. “I get what you mean, though.” With the plan to spy on him that she had been part of, she wasn’t really in a position to be overly judgemental. The realization didn't make her feel less vulnerable though.

“Does anyone else know?” she asked, not sure if she really wanted an answer, but to her relief, Cullen shook his head.

“No, I haven’t involved anyone but myself in this,” he assured her, and Cassia felt at least part of her starting to relax again. 

This wasn’t a topic she ever wanted to become public knowledge after all. “I just… I don’t usually talk about this. With anyone.”

His hand squeezed hers again in a quiet gesture of support. “You won’t have to, I promise I won’t bring it up again.” Almost as an afterthought, he added, “And that tape doesn’t even exist anymore.”

It didn’t exist anymore? He destroyed at least some of the evidence he had about her trying to infiltrate the Order through him? That was not something Cassia would have expected him to do. On the contrary. Everything she had seen from him so far spoke of a very cautious, overly careful person. _Paranoid_ she had called him, and she hadn’t been exaggerating. It felt out of place that he would simply choose to destroy something that was perfect leverage after all. Unless…

She didn’t have time to follow those thoughts when Adriene came back to the table.

“Sorry about that,” her sister said. “Everything is a bit in an uproar today.” 

There wasn’t much more they had to discuss right at this moment, though. The general idea of their plan had been set. Cullen knew where to get his hands on the information they needed, and now it was the agency's turn to go over their expectations and come up with an offer. 

“One detail remains,” Cullen said as they were wrapping up, and Cassia gave him a questioning look. “We’ve been seen together at the gala already, so me keeping you a secret is not an option.” Cassia’s eyes widened slightly. Of course there had been other people from the Order at their date. He had even said something about getting the invitation through connections. Cullen turned to Adriene. “I haven’t introduced her to anyone yet, but it might happen, and then she’ll need an airtight identity.”

Adriene nodded solemnly. “Yes, everything else would be unacceptable. We can have something made for her.”

Cullen shook his head. “No offense, but no. Your government undercover IDs tend to be too easily traceable.” For a moment, he seemed to want to say more, but thought better of it.

Adriene meanwhile definitely felt the need to say something. “Excuse me?” she huffed. “We know what we are doing. We’ve taken down enough organizations from the inside before.”

“Meredith is paranoid. She goes to extreme lengths to vet people…” he added, but Adriene wasn’t having any of it.

“Listen, we’ve been doing our job for a while, and we are doing it quite well. Our department does good work, and we don’t need questionable outside help, especially not when it comes to keeping my sister safe.”

Cassia looked back and forth between them. Adriene definitely had a point, but something in Cullen’s demeanor made her feel like there was something else. Something he was conflicted about. 

“Cullen?” she asked, searching his eyes. “What is the matter? It’s not unreasonable for Adriene to insist on the agency handling this.” When he looked at her, she knew for certain that there was something he wasn’t telling her. “Cullen?” she asked again, this time more insistent.

He seemed to need another minute before he looked like he had made a decision. “Fine,” he said, sounding slightly aggravated, “I really didn’t want to give you this information, but this is about Cassia’s safety, so I guess I have no choice.” He was speaking to Adriene again. “Meredith has access to certain databases. Federal ones.” 

Adriene visibly paled. “You are not serious!”

“I’m afraid I am deadly serious,” Cullen answered. “If you create a fake persona with your government resources for Cassia and place her in this city? She will know about it before I even introduce her. Not that I would even get the chance to do so anymore…”

“Fuck,” Cassia cursed quietly. She knew about the bought policemen, but she never imagined anyone actually getting access to that kind of data. She also realized just then that it had been almost dumb luck that nothing horrible had happened to them so far. They hadn’t set up any fake identities for their team since they had been stationed here, simply because none of their operations had even gone far enough to warrant the thought. And they had decided against creating a fake persona for her try of getting to Cullen because they had already met and she had already introduced herself. 

“You really didn’t want to share that info, huh?” Adriene said sharply, narrowing her eyes at Cullen. “What a great way of working together.”

He shrugged. “As if you would tell me all about the inner workings of your team just in the spirit of cooperation…” His eyes went to Cassia again. “We need to get you an airtight identity that can’t be connected to any agency. So even if she finds out it’s fake, she’d rather suspect you’re one of us then one of them.”

Adriene scoffed. “And of course you happen to know a miracle worker who can make that happen, right?” 

Cullen smiled. “It’s like you read my mind. But she is no miracle worker, just really damn good at her job.” With a raised eyebrow, he looked at Adriene. “And definitely not working for your people. Usually. You need an airtight new identity for here? You need to see Isabela.”

* * *

It was only a little over an hour later before Cassia found herself at the entrance of a rather normal-looking basement in a much more unsavory part of town. Adriene, who had insisted on taking her own car, wasn’t there yet as they went inside to meet Isabela and her business partner Fenris. Cassia was busy not to stare at the sheer amount of antiquities and art in the rather large room. Were all of them forgeries? She kept close to Cullen’s side, hoping her sister would hurry up. This was so far out of her element she felt more out of place than ever before.

The beautiful, dark-skinned woman waiting for them had a blindingly friendly smile though as she welcomed them.

“Oh, aren’t you precious!” she exclaimed, grabbing both of Cassia’s hands. “Cullen, you didn’t tell me she’d be gorgeous! Hi, I’m Isabela.”

Cassia was almost taken aback by the sheer force of friendliness coming at her, but she managed to smile back. “I’m Cassia. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine, darling!” Isabela didn’t even try to be subtle when she looked her down from head to toe, grinning appreciatively at her. “You don’t perchance have a gorgeous brother or sister, don’t you?” she asked with a wink, and Cullen snorted next to her, rolling his eyes good-naturedly.

“Really, Isabela?”

The door behind them opened, and Adriene hurried inside, double-checking that no one had seen her enter before she caught up to them. “I thought we were supposed to meet outside!” she said, sounding slightly ticked off.

With fascination, Cassia watched Isabela’s eyes go from herself to Adriene, the smile on her face becoming even wider in the process. 

“Marvellous!” Isabela exclaimed before looking back to Cassia. “You know, suddenly, I am tempted to do this free of charge!”

“What?” Adriene was obviously still trying to figure out what was going on around her as Isabela’s partner stepped forward.

“Ignore her!” he said firmly. “I’m Fenris,” he introduced himself, “and you said you need some special work, Cullen?”

Cullen explained what they needed, with the occasional addition from Adriene, and not much later, Cassia found herself placed on a chair while Isabela took some headshots for her brand-new fake ID. After that, she could do nothing more than wait around while the other woman worked.

“So your friend can really forge everything?” Cassia was watching Isabela work at the other side of the room. Adriene was leaning next to the other woman, watching what she was doing with curious eyes, asking the occasional question.

“Haven’t found anything yet that she couldn’t,” Fenris said with a shrug, but there was an underlying hint of pride in his voice as he spoke about her, and Cassia smiled. 

“So what do you do then,” she asked curiously. “The same thing?”

Fenris shook his head. “No, I am rubbish at that. I specialize in retrieval and acquisition.”

Cassia blinked in confusion. Retrieval and acquisition? That sounded somewhat out of place concerning where they were and why. Cullen chuckled next to her.

“He means he steals stuff,” he said lightly, causing Fenris to frown.

The other man narrowed his eyes at them. “Remind me again what it is you do, Cullen?” 

Cullen raised up a hand in defense. “Hey, I’m not judging, just explaining. You know that!”

When the corner of Fenris’ mouth went up into a half-smile, Cassia started to understand that the banter between them was completely friendly, familiar even. 

“I’d hope so,” Fenris huffed dryly. “You bring enough business my way after all.” His eyes went from Cullen over to Cassia, and for a moment, he seemed to take in everything about her. “You usually don’t bring your Sunday school playdate, though,” he said finally, and Cassia frowned.

“Excuse me?” 

Fenris didn’t really seem to mean anything by it from the way she simply shrugged, giving her another once over. “Wasn’t supposed to be an insult, just an observation. You don’t look like you would ever find yourself in this neighborhood.” With another look between them, he added, “Nor do you look like you hang around his crowd really.”

Cassia looked down at her simple blouse and skirt combo. It was nothing special, but then again, it did its job for her regular office hours. 

“Don’t listen to Fenris, he is a grumpy man with no appreciation for beauty,” Cullen insisted. With a look to the other side of the room, he added, “Well, except for when it comes to Isabela.” His voice had gotten softer as he murmured close to her ear, “You look wonderful just the way you are.”

“Well, I guess it is a bit plain, he is not wrong there,” Cassia admitted. She liked to occasionally go all out with her evening wear, not that there were many occasions for it, but her everyday wardrobe was indeed mainly practical.

Cullen smiled at her, something promising in his eyes. “We could always go shopping before our dinner reservations,” he suggested.

By now she wasn’t even surprised about his proposition anymore. But as tempting as it sounded, it really didn’t feel necessary.

“Or I could simply go home and change before dinner,” she said instead. “It’s not like I don’t have clothes at home.”

Cullen just grinned at her. “True, but my suggestion is way more fun.”

They got interrupted by Isabela who needed Cassia to establish some key background points for her new ID, and after that, it didn’t take long until everything was set and Cassia was told that she could pick up her brand-new documentation first thing in the morning.

Adriene seemed relieved as they were done, relaxing slightly as she double-checked everything Isabela had told them one more time. “Great,” she finally said, as they were getting ready to leave, halfway out of the door already. “Cassia, you can come home with me for now while we wait for everything to be set up. You’ll be safe there.”

Cullen discretely cleared his throat. “She’s perfectly safe with me, no need.”

Cassia blinked, coming to a halt between them. Of course this wasn’t going to be easy from now on, and she sighed inwardly. A truce and a common goal didn’t equal trust after all.

Something about Cullen’s casual way of talking did not sit well with Adriene. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she said just on the verge of sounding too sharp. “What are you even trying to do, have her move in with you for convenience sake?”

Cullen looked taken aback for a second. “What are you trying to do then, hiding her away in your home to keep her safe from…” His eyes narrowed. “To keep her safe from what exactly, me being a bad influence on her?”

This was not a conversation that Cassia wanted to be a part of. Nor was it one that should happen in the first place in her opinion. “Guys! I am standing right here,” she said a bit louder, and both Adriene and Cullen suddenly paused to look at her. “And while I appreciate the concern… _I_ am going home. To my apartment. Alone!” The decision was a spur of the moment, but the second the words had left her mouth, Cassia was surprised by just how right it felt. She definitely needed some time off.

“But…” Cullen started just as Adriene said, “Cass…”

But Cassia shook her head. “No, seriously. I need a few hours for myself,” she insisted. “The last twenty-four hours have been… _a lot_.”

It was quiet for a moment as both her sister and Cullen looked a bit lost.

“Are you sure that…” Cullen started softly, but Cassia held up her hand to stop him.

“I am sure.” She looked from Adriene to Isabela and Fenris. “I’ll see you three tomorrow when we pick everything up. And you…” she turned to Cullen, giving him a quick kiss before stepping away and out onto the street, “you can pick me up at eight for our dinner. Don’t be late.” With that, she raised her arm to flag down the next cab. “Till then!”

“I like her!” she heard Fenris say behind her as she got into the car. 

Isabela’s voice sounded full of mischief as she agreed. “Oh, she’s gonna be good for you, Cullen!” was the last thing Cassia heard before the door closed behind her.

* * *

The next few days flew by fast, and Cassia felt more and more like she was stuck in a haze of conflicting emotions. Slowly and with a great level of mistrust from both sides, a plan came together. Promises were made, assurances were given, but still, Cassia felt like she was firmly stuck in between the whole thing. After her open admission of being compromised when it came to her feelings for Cullen, it was only natural that Adriene kept her more separated from the whole negotiation. Cassia suspected that it wasn’t even actual mistrust from her sister’s side. Adriene most likely didn’t want Cassia to feel even more conflicted than she was. Cullen did much the same, and Cassia could fault neither of them for it, but it left her floating in a strange, uncertain stage, more unsure of her surroundings than ever before.

On the surface, it was supposed to be business as usual. Only ‘as usual’ really was no longer accurate. Cassia’s days were only on the surface like they had always been. For the first time, her work felt like an actual chore to her. There wasn’t much to do, after all, and every little task she could find to keep herself busy felt rather meaningless compared to the plan to take down the head of the Order in the making. 

Despite having come to an agreement with Cullen, Adriene was overly tense, spending most of her off-time in a gym punching sandbags to relax. Merrill looked like her usual, happy self, but even with her, Cassia could detect an underlying hint of worry, even if she didn’t say anything. 

Ironically, her evenings and nights with Cullen felt almost painfully normal in contrast. They didn’t talk too much about work, neither his nor hers. Instead, their conversations reached from silly jokes to childhood dreams, from favorite books to discussions about what dog breed would make the perfect pet. There were moments though, those unforgivingly sharp moments, when Cullen suddenly said something that made her pause, made her acutely aware of just how different their lives were. But they were short, never lasted long, and it was all too easy to stop thinking about them altogether when she felt the warmth of his arms around her. Or when she listened to his gasps for air after something she said made him shake from laughter.

The days like this turned into weeks, a sort of routine setting in, but the perpetual feeling of uncertainty remained with Cassia. The longer all of this went on, the longer she had Cullen in her life, the heavier the thoughts of where to go from here once their mission was completed weighed on her. There was an event planned, a little over two weeks from now, that had become the key point to their plan. Meredith would be hosting a large get-together in her private estate which would give Cullen the chance to get them all the hard evidence they needed to immediately move in afterward.

Cassia barely dared to think about what it would mean for them, clinging to the almost painfully normal everyday routine they had established. She spent more nights in Cullen’s apartment than in her own by now. Whenever neither of them was working, he either took her out for dinner or cooked for her at his place, and their evenings together were the moment where Cassia could relax. Where she could forget all the uncertainties about the future when she fell asleep in his warm embrace.

It was completely dark in his bedroom when Cassia woke up from a noise in the middle of the night. A dull thud of a door falling shut. Quietly, she sat up, reaching out for Cullen, but the space next to her on the bed was empty. 

And cold. 

Cassia turned on the small night lamp and looked around, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. There was a piece of paper lying on his pillow, and she picked it up with a frown on her face.

_I’m sorry, something urgent came up. I’ll be back as soon as possible._ _  
_ _Cullen_

Further down, it read:

_If I’m not back before breakfast, call the number on the back._

Her frown deepened as she turned the paper over. There was indeed a phone number scribbled on the other side, and a cold feeling of dread settled in her stomach. _‘If I’m not back before breakfast…’_ It was one of those moments where she was suddenly acutely aware again that she not only was involved with someone who could be considered dangerous but also with someone who was — probably regularly — in the middle of dangerous situations himself. The latter one being the much more uncomfortable thought somehow. 

She heard another noise, and Cassia tensed. She had no idea when he had written the note. Was he back already? Or was there someone else in the apartment? Given from what she had seen of his security, an intruder was unlikely, but she couldn't be sure. Cassia got out of bed, grabbing one of his shirts and putting it on, hastily closing a couple of buttons before she quietly left the bedroom. 

There was a faint light coming from the kitchen, and Cassia heard a soft curse. She let out a relieved breath as she realized that it was definitely Cullen’s voice before she pushed the door open — only to gasp at the strange sight in front of her.

Cullen looked… off, to say the least. He was wearing a regular suit, but it was unusually disheveled. As was his hair. Where it was usually impeccable, it now looked like he had been raking his hands through it repeatedly. His shirt cuffs were undone and he was holding a glass of something that looked suspiciously like whiskey in his hand. 

“Cassia…” He looked at her as if he was surprised about her presence. “I’m sorry, I did not mean to wake you.”

Something in his voice sounded off, unsteady almost, and she could see on his face and in the subtle shift of his posture that he was trying to look as casual as possible. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she assured him quietly as she stepped closer. “What happened?”

She could practically see the strain of tension that suddenly ran through him as something in his eyes shut down. “Nothing important,” he said in a clipped tone. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Don’t be sorry for that,” Cassia shook her head. “Though you should probably be sorry for lying straight to my face.”

Cullen stopped dead in his tracks, a look of surprise on his face. 

“This does not look like _‘nothing important’,_ ” Cassia went on as she took another step towards him, something catching her eye as she got closer. “Is that…” 

Before Cullen could react, she was in his personal space, pulling out the collar of his shirt from underneath the jacket, looking at the rust-colored spots with wide eyes. 

“Cullen, is that blood?” 

Following a hunch, Cassia pulled his jacket open. She took in a sharp breath at the sight of at least half of his white shirt being covered in dark red. 

“Cassia,” Cullen sounded actually distressed this time, a hint of urgency behind his slightly shaking voice. “I can explain!” A jolt went through him as he put the drink down, his face scrunched in obvious pain, and Cassia felt her worry override the feelings of unease that had been stirring in her. 

“Oh, you are going to explain,” she murmured as her hands started to unbutton his shirt with deft fingers. “After we take care of this!” 

“It’s not my blood,” Cullen said suddenly and his hands came around hers, stopping her movement. 

Cassia frowned. “You’re hurt though…”

“Yes,” he admitted, “but it is nothing bad.” Cassia’s intense look caused him to immediately rethink that statement. “It’s not as bad as it looks at least. I’m not lying, the majority of that blood is not mine!”

Cassia shook her head in disbelief. She felt her hands slightly shake underneath his as the situation she was in started to catch up with her. It was the middle of the night, and here she was, barefoot in his kitchen with a bunch of bloody clothing between them and no idea what to think about this situation.

“What happened?” she asked again, her tone leaving no doubt about how serious she was about the question, daring him to try and play things down again. “I was under the impression that the Order doesn’t deal in anything violent at all…”

“We don’t,” he said, his jaw going tense. “I put a lot of work into making sure we don’t ever…” His tone, the slight waver in his voice made it obvious that he had very strong feelings about this. Cassia could almost hear him grind his teeth as he took a deep breath. “Meredith has sometimes less qualms about doing business with people who play by different rules though.”

“One of the things you don’t see eye to eye with her then?” Cassia asked carefully. Cullen had told her before that there were things about Meredith’s leadership he disapproved of. Like most of the things he told her about his work, it had sounded like a deliberate understatement. 

Some of the tension left Cullen, and his shoulders sunk down with a sigh. “I’ve lost count about how many times I’ve argued with her about this,” he said with a hint of resignation in his voice. “Which is probably why she didn’t tell me about this particular deal with one of the cartels tonight. I got called in by someone else when things already started to escalate.”

As awful as the situation that he was describing sounded, Cassia couldn’t help the brief feeling of relief when it became clear to her that she at least hadn’t severely misjudged Cullen. But everything he was telling her was still way beyond worrisome.

“One of the cartels?” she prodded further, wondering just what kind of deals Meredith was trying to make.

“Drug cartels,” Cullen said simply, sounding incredibly tired. “The kind that strongly believes in setting examples by shooting their runner in the head for being five minutes late…”

Part of Cassia was hoping that he was just talking about a general example to make his point, but the hollow sound of his voice and the way Cullen was looking at the blood on his clothes as he talked made it clear that this had been exactly what had happened tonight. 

“I was too late to de-escalate anything,” Cullen continued before he shook his head. “Though I don’t even know if I could have. Not with those people.” He started to shrug his jacket off, carefully moving his arm. Cassia suddenly noticed that the sleeve of his jacket was torn, so was the shirt underneath. “Stray bullet grazed me,” Cullen explained as he carefully inspected the wound. It was enough to kick her into action again.

“Alright, first things first, is your First Aid kit in your bathroom?” At Cullen’s nod, she was already half out of the room. “Take the shirt off, I’ll be right back.” With that, she went and got everything she needed to fix him up again. He had done as she asked when she returned, and without further ado, she began to patch him up.

“You are lucky I grew up with a sister who came home with every sort of injury under the sun,” she murmured as she cleaned the wound on his arm before disinfecting it. 

Cullen was watching her carefully through all of this. “You are not going to leave?” he asked suddenly into the quiet.

Cassia’s eyes flew up from his arm to his face. “Why, you want to get rid of me all of a sudden?” She tried to sound lighthearted, but it had little effect on his mood. 

“This is not what you signed up for,” Cullen sighed with a shake of his head.

“True,” Cassia had to admit. Cleaning a gunshot wound at three in the morning definitely had never been in any of her plans for a potential relationship before. She shrugged. “But it’s you. So it’s kind of part of the whole package, right?”

For a moment, Cullen just looked at her as if he had trouble taking what she had said at face value. “It shouldn’t be,” he murmured, and Cassia let out a deep sigh. 

“Seriously, Cullen, do you _want_ me to leave?”

“No.” Despite his earlier uncertainty, his answer was immediate. “I want you to stay.” 

“Good,” Cassia said resolutely. “Because I want to be here. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be.” She was already busy putting most of the First Aid supplies away again. “Come on,” she nudged his shoulder carefully, ”let’s sit down somewhere comfortable so I can wrap this up properly.”

Cullen was surprisingly quiet as they went into his living room and he settled down on the soft rug in front of the couch. Cassia sat down slightly behind him on the couch itself and began to bandage his arm with swift but careful moves. 

“You want me to throw that shirt in the laundry?” Cassia asked quietly to fill the silence between them. “I don’t know how useful that would be or if it should go to a dry cleaner instead.” 

“I’m just gonna throw it away,” Cullen said, his eyes unfocused as he looked out the windows. “The plan has to work,” he said all of a sudden, turning his head to look at Cassia. “This is not the first time something like this has happened. It _has_ to work.”

She had just been done with his arm and her hands went up, gently combing through his still messed-up hair. “It will work!” she assured him, and Cassia surprised herself by how much she actually believed it. It was a good plan. They had more people on their side, weren’t in this alone, after all, and they had a clear goal. Clearer than it had been before to Cassia. With a sigh, Cullen leaned back against her, his head coming to rest on her lap as she continued gently playing with his hair. 

“That runner? I doubt the boy was even eighteen,” Cullen said quietly. “Some things really aren’t worth it...” 

Cassia’s breath hitched at the amount of grief she heard in his voice. This was so far off from the confident man she had met, it threw her for a loop. 

“I have to admit, I am a bit surprised,” Cassia quietly admitted. “Not at this being something that shakes you up, I am right there with you on that,” she explained. “But before, whenever you talked about your life, your job, you always seemed so… carefree about it? Like nothing really bothers you.” He had been remarkably blasé about things so far after all. “You offered me a way out from my job I dislike, but…”

“What I’m offering you instead is no better, you mean?” Cullen’s voice sounded rough as he spoke. “You’re not wrong.” 

In a way, Cassia thought, she finally had her answer to the question of whether Cullen really was as calm and aloof about everything as he appeared. He wasn’t. The longer they sat here, the longer she watched his face, the more she suspected that it probably even went much deeper than this one incident.

“What a pair we make,” she breathed out with a heavy sigh. “Technically on opposite sides, and yet here we are, huddled together in the middle of the night and both not entirely happy with the lives we’re living.”

Cullen tensed against her, and for a brief moment, Cassia thought he would disagree with her. Deny her suspicion and claim that he had no idea what she was talking about. But the tension left as quickly as it had come.

“One might ask why we keep living them like this then,” he said so quietly that Cassia almost didn’t hear him. 

Almost. 

And wasn’t that just the question she had asked herself for years already?

“I don’t know,” she answered. Her hands still were busy going through Cullen’s hair. She watched him close his eyes, looking almost relaxed as her fingers repeated the same patterns over and over again. 

It was quiet for a while when Cassia suddenly remembered something else. 

“What was that number on your note by the way?” she asked curiously.

Cullen didn’t open his eyes as he answered, “Fenris’ emergency phone,” he said softly. “He and Isabela have everything important for you and know all the ins and out if something unforeseen should happen.”

The way he phrased that sentence didn’t sit well with Cassia at all. “You mean like a contingency plan? In case you…” She didn’t want to finish the sentence, not even in her head, but she felt a brief nod against her, confirming her horrible suspicion.

“You have a contingency plan for me in case something happens to you…” The thought alone made Cassia deeply uncomfortable. Not that he had made a plan in the first place. It wasn’t even the fact that he apparently made preparations with her in mind without telling her. But the simple fact that he had left his apartment earlier tonight while clearly thinking that giving her access to said contingency plan might be something acutely necessary.

“You weren’t sure what you were actually walking into tonight,” she said out loud as she realized the meaning behind it. “You thought there was a legitimate chance of…” Her hand started to tremble in his hair.

Cullen shifted, sitting up straight and turning around so he could look up at her. “I didn’t really think…” he started to explain, but then he shook his head, thinking better of it as he quietly admitted, “There are never any guarantees with things like this.”

His eyes were full of regret as they bore into hers, and Cassia found herself deeply confused by her own strong reaction to it. She was no stranger to a job having risks. The possibility of something going wrong had been there from the beginning when she had to sit back and watch her sister go out in the field. And yet, it somehow hammered home the fact of just how different his life was from hers. Even if Adriene went into a dangerous situation, there was no need for a contingency plan. If something would happen to her, Cassia would be inconsolable with grief, but she wouldn’t have to deal with suddenly being in danger on top of it. Even worse was the thought that if something had happened to Cullen tonight, there would have been a good chance that Cassia would have never even found out what. 

Suddenly, she found herself whispering a sentence she thought for sure she would never say. 

“I don’t know if I can do this.”


	7. To Choose A Path

Cassia’s words hung heavy in the air. _‘I don’t know if I can do this.’_

With a pained expression, Cullen stared at her. “This?”

It was obvious he knew exactly what she was trying to say, but Cassia nodded regardless. “I can take a lot of things, but I don’t know if I can be in a relationship with you when there is a constant threat that you might simply be gone one day.”

Cullen looked at her with so much pain in his eyes that Cassia felt her own eyes start to burn. 

“So it’s not what I do, or my past or even the fact that I plan to take over the Order that pushes you away but… this?” he asked tonelessly, and Cassia swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat. Cullen drew back, shifting away from her, and she could see him fighting to push down his feelings. “I stand by everything I said before,” he said, his voice sounding much more closed off already. “I will not stop you if you want to leave.”

He was trying to distance himself from her, and Cassia tried to blink away the tears that started to form in her eyes. A voice inside her told her that this was probably for the best. Brought up Adriene’s warnings that nothing good could come from this. It was drowned out by the overwhelming feeling of fear that welled up in her as she watched his face go colder right in front of her. Just a moment ago, she had thought that being constantly worried about him was something she would not be able to stand, but this? What was happening between them right now? It felt suddenly way worse.

“I don’t _want_ to leave!” she burst out. “Damn it, Cullen, I never want to leave!” Before he could distance himself even further, she slid down onto the floor next to him and her arms were around his neck as she pulled him closer. On the back of her hand was a dried smear of blood, like a reminder of all the things that had her worried. “I am terrified,” she admitted, looking at him in despair. “I don’t want to live like this, knowing I could lose you at any moment, but I sure as hell can’t just get up and walk away from you either.”

Cullen stared at her, and whatever he had tried earlier to shut himself off clearly didn’t work anymore. His every thought, his every emotion was clear on his face, and Cassia felt like she could read him like a book. The need behind his eyes, the fear of losing her, and the naked want for something more. There was so much longing in his gaze, it took her breath away. 

“I don’t know how to fix that,” he said, and his voice sounded almost broken.

Cassia wasn’t sure she had ever heard something more raw. _‘We’ll make it work’_ he had said, sounding so convinced each time. She realized now that it had probably been for his own benefit as much as hers. 

“I don’t know either,” she said quietly, but she refused to let that be it. “Yet. I don’t know yet.” She took a deep breath. “But I’ll be damned if I’m not willing to try everything to figure this out!”

Cassia could see the moment Cullen let himself believe that she wasn’t going to end this right now. He didn’t smile in relief or sigh, but something in his eyes changed just enough to let her know. There was a stark contrast in just how much he was letting her see compared to the almost impenetrable mask that had been on his face so many times before now. There wasn’t a shred of it there anymore. Cassia had hoped for a crack in his facade, she hadn’t expected to completely shatter it instead. 

“You’re not leaving!” Cullen still sounded shaken, and Cassia could do nothing but nod as he closed the rest of the distance between them, his shaky breath ghosting over her skin. 

“I wouldn’t know how to,” she whispered before her eyes fluttered shut under the soft touch of his lips on her own. 

There was something almost hesitant in the kiss as if Cullen was still afraid she would leave after all. With a sigh that got swallowed up by his mouth on her, Cassia's hands were back in his hair, holding on to him as closely as she could. His lips moved over hers, growing more steady as they clung to each other, and it slowly seemed to sink in for Cullen that Cassia was not about to draw away. That she truly wasn’t about to leave. 

When he shifted slightly, Cassia could feel him flinch, the injury on his arm making itself noticed again, but Cullen adamantly ignored it, dragging her closer with him as he moved a little bit away from the couch. A moment later, his back hit the rug, and Cassia’s hands left his hair, steading her on his chest as he pulled her all the way on top of him. 

Cullen kept kissing her, unwilling to let the closeness between them end. He held her close to him with one hand while the other one was roaming over every part of her body he could reach. His touches were insistent, but nothing like the frantic, more impatient moments they had had between them before. Like every touch was needed not for gratification but for assurance. His fingers dug into her thigh before slipping under the shirt of his she still wore. 

With a smile against his lips, Cassia finally drew back, pulling herself upright and looking down at him. The intensity in his eyes made it impossible for her to look away. There was no need for words between them. Cassia knew what he needed, what they both needed right now. Closeness, reassurance, and the feeling of calm she only ever felt in his arms. Wordlessly, she started to undo the few buttons she had managed to close earlier when she had hastily gotten dressed to go looking for him. When the shirt fell open and she was about to let it fall down her shoulders, Cullen stopped her. 

“Leave it on,” he said hoarsely, his eyes still fixed on her. “I like seeing you in my clothes.” He swallowed heavily as his hands moved over her thighs, up to her waist and along her sides until he could cup her breasts. “It feels like you are wearing a sign that says you're mine, and mine alone!” His words were accompanied by a little growl, but underneath it, Cassia could hear something raw, making her shiver from the intensity of it. 

Instead of taking the shirt off, she left it hanging open and started undoing Cullen’s pants instead. His hands left her briefly, and she managed to undo his belt and the button, dragging the zipper down as she got distracted by Cullen’s lips closing around the tip of her breast. He had pushed himself up on his elbows and his tongue teased the hardened nipple in his mouth before he added a hint of teeth, and Cassia shook with a low moan above him. 

A moment later, Cullen moved again, turning them over until Cassia was sprawled out on the floor underneath him. With quick moves, he got rid of his remaining clothes before his eyes were raking over her, taking in the view she made, lying in front of him, naked except for his open shirt. A sense of reverence was in his touch as his hands slowly went over each and every part of her body, leaving no bit of bare skin untouched, and Cassia’s breath started to go faster. When she reached for him, he took her hands and pushed them gently into the carpet next to her head. 

“Please,” he murmured, pressing down once to emphasize that he wanted her to stay like this, “Just let me, for now.” 

Cassia nodded, and he went back to giving his attention to every part of her. He wasn’t downright rough with her, but there was nothing overly soft in his touches, his fingers digging into her flesh like he had to assure himself she was actually there. His lips followed the path his hands had set, placing gentle kisses on her skin and soothing over every harsh impression his fingers made. 

Cassia drew in a sharp breath as he grabbed the insides of her thighs, spreading them further apart as his hands moved up, his mouth following closely behind. Slowly, his fingers spread her folds apart, and his tongue found its goal almost immediately, flicking around the hardened nub, making Cassia struggle for air. A moment later, he moved again, two of his fingers dipping inside of her, and Cassia flushed at the realization that she could hear just how aroused she was as he moved them in and out of her.

The heat that had already been simmering in her turned into fiery desire as she quivered under his touch. Everything he did was suddenly too slow. Too teasing. “Cullen,” she panted. “Are you going to make me beg again?”

“No.” With a soft smile on his face, Cullen shook his head. “I’m not—” Something in his eyes changed as he stopped himself. They got darker, the already present need intensifying as he moved up along her body again, so close that she could feel the soft hair on his chest tease over her breasts. “On second thought, yes,” he mumbled, his lips hovering over hers. Briefly, he caught her lower lip between his teeth, teasingly pulling at it before he let go again. “I want to hear you beg for me,” he said with a gravelly voice. “Tell me how much you want me, how much you _need_ me.”

The urgency in his voice sent another shiver through Cassia. No matter the heat between them, she could feel in her heart that there was more behind his words than something purely sexual. More than he wanted, no, _needed_ to hear from her. That he didn’t just mean this moment.

“Cullen,” she pleaded, trying to chase after his mouth to no avail as he kept just out of reach. “I need you!” Her voice was barely more than a whisper, but it was clear enough. He stared down at her, hanging on her every word as if his life depended on it as she continued. “Please, Cullen, please touch me. I want to feel you all around me, I want you inside me and I—” She couldn’t finish, a deep moan breaking off her sentence as Cullen shifted above her and his cock dragged over her folds, sending a spark of pleasure through her. He took himself in hand, repeating the movement slowly once, twice, his eyes never leaving hers until he finally angled himself just right and slowly pushed inside her.

Cassia wanted to urge him to speed up, but at the same time, she wished the moment could last forever. He took his time, leaning closer until their breaths mingled in between them, and Cassia gasped in anticipation. When he pushed into her, it was with such deliberate slowness she could feel the delicious stretch around his cock going on for what felt like forever. Above her, his chest was rising with heavy breaths, his tousled hair matching the storm of emotions on his face. 

Cassia realized that she had held her hands still and right at the spots where he had placed them for the entire time, and her fingers itched, yearning to touch him again. His arm that held up his weight had slipped underneath her shoulder, grabbing her, holding her close and in place while his other hand slid along her arm until he could intertwine his fingers with hers. Her hand clutched his as he finally pushed all the way inside her, and Cassia could feel him shake against her. 

For a moment, they were both perfectly still, losing themselves in the intimate closeness between them that made the air heavy with unspoken thoughts and desperate desires. When Cullen finally moved, he was unhurried, despite the urgency that had been in his voice before. Each time, he pulled back in a delightfully long drag before he pushed back inside her with slow, but powerful thrusts. The base of his shaft dragged over the swollen center of her desire again and again, making Cassia slowly lose any semblance of control as she met each of his strokes with a languid roll of her hips. All the while, Cullen never let go of her hand, his grip strong and unyielding as he pressed their intertwined hands into the softness of the rug. 

The moment between them seemed to drag out forever, his hot breath caressing her face as their eyes locked onto each other. On and on and on, Cullen never hurried as they savored the slow pace and the sheer never-ending heat it brought with it. Soft gasps and quiet moans became louder and more pronounced, and Cassia felt his breath coming out in short bursts. The pleasure building up from the heat between her thighs all the way through her body became more and more overwhelming, stretching into every part of her as she started to shudder underneath him. Her own moans got louder, and Cassia felt like she was about to burst under his touch and the feelings he stirred inside of her. Feelings that formed themselves into something more tangible in her head, into a yet unspoken truth. Her next moan was interrupted by Cullen’s mouth as he kissed her again, hard and unrelenting this time, as if he couldn’t stand not being connected to her in every possible way, and suddenly Cassia knew just what she was truly feeling. Her eyes were wide open, looking at him almost helplessly as he swallowed every sound she made. 

She loved him. 

Cassia had known there had been some feelings involved almost from the beginning, but lying here, on his living room floor in the middle of the night, still with a smear of his blood on her hand, she knew she was utterly and irrevocably in love with him. 

Without ever breaking their kiss, Cullen finally moved just a little bit faster, and with her mind still reeling from the sudden clear understanding of her feelings for him, she felt herself being dragged under by the flood of pleasure crashing over her. She could feel from the rumble in his throat that Cullen was right there with her, his fingers digging into her hand as they both got overwhelmed together, moaning into their kiss and shivering through the waves of pleasure shared between them. 

When they slowly came down again, Cullen was still looking at her with the same need in his eyes, and Cassia felt something in her stomach flutter. 

“Cullen,” she whispered, “I—” 

Before she could say what was burning on her tongue, he moved, letting go of her hand and drawing a wild strand of hair out of her face as he gently kissed her again. 

“Just let me hold you for a while, please,” he said softly and with so much yearning in his voice that Cassia shivered again. “Everything else can wait till later.”

With a smile, she nodded and when he shifted, moving to her side before drawing her close against him she just let herself be held. He was right, everything else could wait. This feeling they had between them right now was all they needed for now.

* * *

The next morning, the mood was very different from how it had been before. Cassia could feel it in every interaction, every touch, and every glance. Not in a bad way, but something about the intensity of the night, the openness it had brought out between them, had also brought a subtle shift in the feelings between them. Made them more clear, more raw. They didn’t even talk all that much through breakfast, both Cullen and her trying their best not to yawn too much in between bites. Neither of them had been able to go back to sleep. They had managed to move back into the bedroom after a while, but even there, they had spent the rest of the night wrapped up in each other and unwilling to let go. 

Cassia deeply regretted having to leave for work rather early. Despite the quiet throughout breakfast, there was something in the air, something new and exciting and deeply comforting at the same time.

When she lamented about having to go back to her place for fresh clothes, Cullen smiled at her, suggesting she should just leave some clothes at his place before he handed her a card with the passkey for his apartment. It left Cassia stumbling over her words for a moment. Yes, last night had definitely changed something. For the better, it seemed, if this new level of intimacy and trust was any indication.

And the change was not just between them. From the moment she left his apartment, Cassia’s mind was racing with thoughts about the future, _their future together_ and what they could do to make that an actual possibility. Cullen hadn't been wrong when he pointed out that the agency wouldn’t look kindly on a relationship between them, especially not one that would continue after their job in Kirkwall was done. Cassia knew that she would have to make a decision, a big one, and that she would have to make it soon. 

It didn’t help that Cassia was all but certain that someone in the agency would make a fuss if she coincidentally retired after this mission. If only to make her life harder. It caused Cassia to rethink her position on contingency plans. Cullen had mentioned earlier in their relationship that the paranoia she accused him of was sometimes absolutely necessary, and for the first time, Cassia put actual thoughts into making her own plans in case something went wrong. 

She had never really had to before. Adriene was usually the one out and in danger while Cassia sat behind a computer, keeping an eye on her. In many ways, Cassia _was_ the contingency plan of their team. The one that came up with an alternative when something went wrong, the one that had Plan B and Plan C already lined up and running at the first sign of trouble. She had never needed a backup for herself. But if she had learned one thing over the past few weeks, it was that everything she was involved in now had grown so much bigger than she could have ever anticipated.

Cassia packed a bag at home and made sure all her plants had enough water before going to work for the day where luckily only Merrill noticed her additional luggage. Adriene only passed by briefly in the morning before she was off to some meeting with Aveline again. Cassia was relieved that her sister didn’t say anything, and that she obviously hadn’t noticed the additional bag standing in their break room. It wasn’t like she was doing anything Adriene wasn’t somewhat expecting anyway, but she had no doubt that her sister would probably not be very enthusiastic about any visible sign of Cassia getting even more cozy at Cullen’s place. She hadn’t forgotten their brief confrontation at Isabela’s. 

She couldn’t even fault Adriene for worrying. Cassia would probably feel and say the exact same things if their roles were reversed. But there wasn’t anything she could tell her sister that would ease her worries. And she definitely couldn’t talk to her about the things Cullen told her last night. Not without breaking his trust. So for the moment, avoidance was the best option in her opinion.

It was in one of those slow moments where she had to actively search for work that had come more and more frequently since their work on the plan with Cullen had begun that she looked at her computer with a thoughtful eye. Perhaps it was time to take a page out of Cullen’s book and actually make that backup plan. She wasn’t sure what exactly she anticipated to go wrong. If she only wanted some security that she could leave on her own terms if she actually wanted to or if it was more. With a plan as complex as Adriene kept describing it, and Cassia herself not even being privy to all it entailed, the options for something going sideways were many after all. It wouldn’t hurt to be on the safe side. Carefully, and without catching anyone’s attention, she plugged in her mobile hard drive, not even feeling a hint of hesitation before copying the bulk of her work onto it.

Before she left, she took the opportunity of having a part of her wardrobe with her and exchanged her regular pantsuit for a light dress. She took out the practical braids she wore during the day, ready to leave work behind, but when she stepped outside, Merrill came running after her, ushering her back into the office. 

“Adriene asked me to give you this and make sure you are all set,” her friend explained while handing Cassia a brand-new phone and going into details about how she had set up the phone records to match the cover identity Isabela had crafted for her. Cassia felt a bit silly for not having thought about that on her own already. Luckily for her, though, her sister was much more on top of everything security-related than Cassia was. 

Of course, Merrill also insisted on walking her through the setup personally, and by the time Cassia hurried outside again, it was almost half an hour later. 

Cassia cursed as she flagged down a cab. She was late. She had told Cullen that she would be at his place for dinner, but now she would definitely not make it in time. Quickly, she texted him about the holdup, hoping he hadn’t planned anything that would be messed up by her being late.

But despite the small hitch in their plans, Cassia was in a good mood, and when she saw herself in the mirror inside the elevator up to his place, she had a satisfied smile on her face. The small buzz of happiness that had gone through her as she had typed the passcode into his lock was still brimming inside her.

“I am so sorry I’m late, I got held up at work,” was the first thing she called out when entering Cullen’s apartment. 

“I saw your text, don’t worry about it.”

Cullen’s voice came from the kitchen, and Cassia put her bag down in the living room before making her way over to where she could hear him rummage around.

As she entered, he shot her an apologetic look. “I wanted to cook, but I was rather late myself, so I hope you are fine with ordering in?” He looked like he had just come home as well. 

“Of course,” she nodded before giving him a quick kiss. Or rather, that was what she had planned. The moment her lips touched his, his arm was around her, pulling her closer with a sudden tug. 

“I’ve missed you,” Cullen murmured, his eyes taking in her appearance, causing him to smile widely. “You look absolutely edible in that dress.” His hand slid down her back, and Cassia shivered under his touch. His jacket was hanging carelessly over one of the kitchen chairs. His tie was undone, hanging loosely around his neck, and the sleeves of his button-down shirt were pushed up. She gave him a coy smile as she appreciated his relaxed look.

“Perhaps we should wait a bit with ordering food, work up an appetite first,” she suggested, and a moment later, his hands were on her waist, lifting her up and setting her onto the kitchen counter. It was much more playful than anything that had happened the night before, but Cassia could still feel that there was something different now. A new feeling of closeness.

“You have the best ideas.” Cullen’s grin was full of promise before he kissed her again. One of his hands cupped her breasts through her dress, and at Cassia’s soft gasp, his tongue pushed into her mouth, making her moan against him. Cassia pulled his shirt loose before starting to unbutton it from the top as Cullen’s other hand slid up her thigh, gently pushing her legs apart enough so he could stand in between them.

She felt like she could get lost in the feeling of his kiss alone when she suddenly noticed a strange noise. Something high-pitched, not overly loud but very persistent. Cullen stilled against her, frozen for a moment before he drew back.

“What is that?” Cassia asked, still a little light-headed from their kiss. “Did you set a timer for something? An alarm?”

Cullen’s face was full of confusion as he looked at her and shook his head. “No, that’s my…” He paused. Suddenly, he took his hands off her and took a step back. 

Something was off, Cassia thought as she saw him reach for his phone, unlocking it and obviously checking something. It wasn’t until he looked up at her again that she realized that something wasn’t just off, something was absolutely wrong. 

“Cullen?” she asked carefully, and the way he suddenly narrowed his eyes at her had her shudder. What was going on?

“You’ve become a much better actress since the last time you tried to fool me,” he said, his voice sounding surprisingly cold all of a sudden, and Cassia blinked in confusion.

“What are you talking about?” 

For a moment, Cullen looked so utterly hurt that Cassia could almost feel his pain before she saw his expression slowly change into anger. “You definitely had me last night,” he said tonelessly. “But then again, that was the plan from the start, wasn’t it? Get me to open up to you until you find a weak spot?”

There was an edge to his voice that had Cassia immediately on guard. “Cullen, you are starting to scare me here…” He was suddenly right in front of her. Cassia flinched as his hands were back on her, and he started patting her down firmly.

There was nothing of the earlier intimacy in his touch, on the contrary. His hands were downright rough, ruthless in their pursuit of something Cassia didn’t understand. Instinctively, she tensed and brought her arms up, trying to push him away from her, only to have him push them aside, not budging at all.

“Cullen!” she hissed. “What the hell are you doing?” 

Cassia tried again to get his hands off her, but this time, it made something in Cullen snap, and with an angry snarl, he grabbed one of her arms and twisted it behind her back.

“Where is it?” he growled, his free hand not stopping its search. “Where is the bug?”

Cassia’s eyes widened. “What bug?” He didn’t seem inclined to answer her. The vast difference between the man who had gently held her last night and the one now angrily in front of her completely threw her for a loop. Cassia pushed her free hand against his chest as firmly as she could, her voice getting louder, “Cullen, _what bug?_ ”

He stopped what he was doing for a moment, but his hold on her didn’t loosen, and his eyes narrowed. “You can cut the act, Cassia, did you really think the sensors in the elevator were the only security I had?” He looked at her like she was the one behaving unreasonable, and Cassia didn’t know what to say for a moment. Cullen shook his head. “A bug that only turns on once you are actually in my apartment… I give it to you, it’s smarter than everything else that came from your agency so far, but it’s still remarkably stupid.”

Cassia felt herself starting to shiver. His voice sounded sharp, like it could cut through glass. “Cullen,” she started as he went back to searching her, “Cullen, listen to me: there is no bug!” She tried to twist her arm out of his hold, but it only caused him to tighten his grip, and Cassia hissed in pain. “Ow, Cullen, stop this! I am telling you, I am not bugged!”

He stilled again for a short moment, his hand pausing on her chest. His fingers closed around the top button of her dress, suddenly twisting and ripping the button straight off. A second later, it was held right in front of her face, and Cassia blinked furiously, trying to focus on the small object that was just a little too close until she could see what it was. 

“You want to repeat that?” Cullen said, quietly now, but no less threatening. There, between his fingertips, on the surface of the unassuming-looking button was a tiny button cam.

Cassia swallowed, her throat suddenly dry as her mind started racing, trying to find an explanation. Where did that bug come from? Panic welled up in her as she realized that this wasn’t looking good for her. That he had a reason for his anger. 

“Cullen,” she implored him, “I had no part in this, I did not put that there!” He had loosened his hold on her arm enough so it wasn’t as painful anymore, but he still did not let her go. Cassia’s voice was unsteady as she did her best to keep herself from shaking even more. “Someone must have…”

“Must have what?” Cullen interrupted her harshly. “Secretly planted it on you?” He scoffed, giving her a look so scathing it made her almost wince. “I’m curious, just how would someone plant a bug on you right under your nose without you noticing?”

Cassia felt utterly lost. She didn’t even have an answer that would explain the situation to herself after all. How was she supposed to convince him when she had absolutely no clue about what had happened? 

There was something in Cullen’s eyes, behind the anger he was so clearly displaying that made her heart clench as he shook his head in what looked almost like resignation. “Thought as much,” he said slowly, before letting the button fall to the floor, crushing it under his boot. The moment it broke, the kitchen was suddenly eerily quiet. The alarm from earlier had fallen silent, and suddenly Cassia’s rapid breath was the loudest thing in the room.

How did she end up carrying a bug on her clothes? It didn’t make any sense. Cullen was right, there was no way someone could have put that camera, however tiny it had been, on her while she was wearing… She blinked as her thoughts slithered to a halt. She hadn’t been wearing this dress at work. It had sat in her bag, in her office, for almost the entire day. In another room even. Cassia paled at the thought that it could have been several people who had put the camera on her dress, and a dreadful feeling went through her as she realized that it had definitely been someone she knew and trusted.

“Cullen,” she tried again, a hint of despair in her voice as she tried to reach him. “I swear to you, I didn’t do this!” She could see something flicker in his eyes, something that looked almost hopeful before the alarm suddenly went off again. Cullen’s eyes went dark, and he shook his head as if he was trying to rid himself of any sympathy.

“One wasn’t even enough?” His voice was chilling but at the same time almost cracking, and for a moment, Cassia saw a flicker of anguish in his eyes before his grip on her arm tightened again as he continued to search her, checking every button, every seam, and Cassia started to quietly despair. She stopped struggling against his hold, staring blindly ahead as she furiously tried to think of anything that could explain this. The dress had been in the break room, but everything else on her she would have noticed. There was nothing she had with her that had been out of her sight. Nothing that she didn’t have on her when she left his apartment this morning.

Suddenly she froze. Nothing except…

“Cullen, check my phone!” She tried to keep her voice even, but everything inside her felt shaken up. He stopped what he was doing and gave her an unreadable look. Cassia made a motion with her head to where her purse was standing not far from them. “Check it!” she insisted more forcefully.

His eyes were still narrowed suspiciously, but he stepped away from her and reached for her purse. Not really leaving her out of his sight for more than a few seconds at a time, he did as she asked. When her phone was in his hands, he frowned.

“That’s not your phone,” he said, taking a closer look.

Cassia was still breathing heavily as she shook her head. “It is a new one that I got about an hour ago…”

“Unlock it!” It sounded straight-up like a direct order as Cullen held the phone in front of her, but Cassia didn’t even care, she just put her finger on the sensor until the screen flickered on. He didn’t look for long before he seemed to find what he was looking for. 

Whatever he had found, it looked like he had disabled it as the persistent sound of the alarm died down for a second time. Cassia’s eyes were still glued to her new phone in his hands. 

_‘Adriene asked me to give you this and make sure you are all set,’_ she heard Merrill’s voice in her head. 

Adriene had also been in the office while Cassia’s bag had been in the breakroom. But her sister wouldn’t… 

All the instances of Adriene opposing their current plan suddenly replayed in her head. Every time her sister had said something against it. Had Cassia been too absorbed in all of this, too blind to see what was right in front of her? She could feel her eyes starting to burn. This could not be.

Suddenly, she understood all too well just why Cullen reacted the way he did. The disbelief, the anger, and why he felt so betrayed. And she knew she had to fix this. Had to make him understand. She jumped down from the counter and ignored every instinct that told her to run in the opposite direction as she went up to him.

“I didn’t do this,” Cassia said firmly, trying to find his eyes. “I need you to believe me on this, I really had no idea!” His jaw was still tense, but there was that flicker in his eyes again as he looked at her, and Cassia pushed on, the words flowing out of her as she explained about her dress and how she had just gotten the new phone. “I didn’t know anything about the bugs, and if I had, I wouldn’t have gone along with it!” Instinctively, she put her hand on his arm, feeling her heart painfully clench as Cullen flinched under her touch. He didn’t pull away though. “You know me, Cullen! Please believe me!”

“How?” he said simply, and the slight shake in his voice sounded heartbreaking. “How am I supposed to…” Cullen took a deep breath, and Cassia could see the anger that had fueled him seep away, leaving behind a mixture of sadness, disappointment, and resignation. He sounded almost desperate as he asked her, “How do you expect me to just believe you, after this…” His eyes were burning into hers. “I find out you work for the government, I discover your plan to get close to me, and when you told me you didn’t want to do anything like that, _I believed you_ !” There was a painful hitch in his voice. “And now, especially after last night, the day I give you the key to my apartment, I find you doing _exactly_ what you had planned in the first place,” he said with a resigned shake of his head. “Tell me, Cassia, what am I supposed to do?”

“Trust me!” Cassia blurted out and could see that it wasn’t what he had expected her to say. “You are supposed to trust me,” she repeated a bit calmer, and she could see that Cullen was going to say something, probably object and repeat what he had just told her, but she didn’t let him get a word in before she continued, “Trust me that I am telling you the truth. It is nothing more than what you have demanded from me so far after all!”

He looked at her with a floored expression, clearly unable to understand what she meant. “When have I ever…”

“You don’t even see it, do you?” Cassia interrupted him. “It goes both ways, Cullen! You continuously ask me to trust you without giving me any guarantees.” It was obvious that her words were unsettling him, but Cassia found herself unable to stop her train of thought now that she had started. “You deliberately made me afraid of you the first time I was in your apartment, remember? And then you asked me to trust you that you wouldn’t hurt me.” It was only now that she was saying it out loud that Cassia truly realized just how much he had asked of her that night. “You expect me to trust your plan for Meredith, and all I have to go on is your word that you want her gone,” she kept adding. “And last night you came home drenched in blood! _Blood,_ Cullen!” She took a deep breath as she felt the tension between them being pulled taught by her words. “And I have nothing but your word that things happened the way they did and you weren't actually the one pulling the trigger!”

Cullen could do nothing but stare at her for a moment, letting the magnitude of her words sweep over him. She could see that this was something he had probably never once thought about before. Not like this. That from her perspective, things between them looked massively different from his own.

“How can you stand this?” His voice was full of disbelief as he asked, “How can you even bear to be around me if this is how things are to you?”

“Because I _chose_ to trust you, damn it!” Cassia bursted out. “Because this is what trusting each other means. Having no guarantees but choosing to believe in each other anyway.” Helplessly, she held onto his arm, trying to get him to understand her. “I can’t prove to you that I had no part of this, I can only promise you that I am speaking the truth.” Her gaze was firm, her chin raised as she said, “Your move!”

Cullen stared at her as her words sunk in. It was as if something broke loose in him, and suddenly, his hands were on her back and in her hair, holding her close enough that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. “Damn it, Cassia, I want to believe you!” he got out between clenched teeth. “I want it so much that it terrifies me!” 

“Terrify?” Cassia’s eyes widened in confusion. “Why?” she asked quietly.

“Because I want to believe you so much that part of me doesn’t even care about the truth,” Cullen admitted, and there was such a rawness in his words that it made Cassia shiver. “That part of me is ready to ignore everything I have ever learned just to be with you, consequences be damned, and it scares the shit out of me!”

For a second, Cassia felt absolutely stunned by his words before a tentative smile spread over her face. “Then you know how I feel most of the time,” she said, not taking her eyes off him.

Cullen let out a huff of disbelief, trying to discern if she was making light of the issue, but there was only honesty on Cassia’s face. 

“This is deeply uncomfortable,” he murmured, and Cassia could only nod in agreement.

“I know!”

His forehead had come to rest against hers and neither of them dared to move. Everything felt somewhat fragile around them as they kept standing close, holding on to each other, breathing each other’s air. Something shifted when Cullen let out a deep sigh as he briefly closed his eyes. When he opened them again, there wasn’t a hint of doubt in them anymore, only determination.

“I believe you,” he said softly. There was a quiet firmness behind his words that made Cassia lose some of the tension she had been holding, and she tilted her head upwards just enough so she could brush her lips over his. As if a dam broke, his arms around her tightened as he met her in a kiss full of longing, and something that felt close to desperation. 

“Cassia…” he whispered against her, “Cassia, Cassia, Cassia…” Each call of her name interrupted by another kiss. “When I said I wanted to offer you everything, I had no idea that it included myself as well.” His words went through her like a spark, setting her every nerve on fire.

“It’s only fair,” she breathed out in between more kisses, “that I get to have all of you when you already own all of me.”

Cullen groaned at her words, kissing her again and again until both of them started to lose any sense of time and space around them. Lost in each other, Cassia forgot about standing in a kitchen. Forgot about the treacherous phone still lying on the counter, and the ripped off button on the floor. Forgot to worry about what had led to all of this. All that mattered were his kisses and the fact that he chose to believe her.

The sharp sound of a ringing phone pulled her out of the pleasant haze of feelings. As it did Cullen. They looked at each other, then at her phone. _‘Adriene’_ the caller ID said, and Cassia felt a lump in her throat.

“You should take this,” Cullen said, already reaching for her phone to give it to her when he paused at the look of absolute misery on Cassia’s face. It didn’t take much for him to put one and one together from her reaction. “You think your sister is the one that bugged you?” When Cassia nodded quietly, he seemed to have made a decision. “Well then, let’s find out, shall we?”

Without further ado, he picked up, putting Adriene directly on speaker. “Cassia,” came her sister’s voice immediately. “I’m so glad I reached you, listen, you need to immediately—”

“Calling to check why the bugs have stopped sending?” Cullen interrupted her, and Cassia was surprised just how calm and different his voice sounded again.

“Cullen!” Adriene was on her guard immediately. “Let me talk to my sister! Now.”

He gave her a questioning look, offering her to take the phone from him, but Cassia only managed to shake her head. What was she supposed to say? How could she even… Just thinking of talking to Adriene right now made her feel choked up already. 

“I’m afraid Cassia can’t come to the phone right now,” Cullen said, and Cassia was acutely aware just how deliberate his phrasing was. He didn’t tell Adriene that she didn’t want to talk to her right now. His voice sounded perfectly pleasant, but there was something about it and the way he said the words that made them feel downright threatening. At least Adriene seemed to immediately think so.

“Cullen, I swear, if you have hurt her, if you have done anything to her…”

“I’m not the one that put her in danger tonight, that was your agency,” he interjected calmly. 

Adriene seemed to lose whatever little patience she had. “Then that’s between you and the agency, Cullen, it has nothing to do with her! You put my sister on the phone right now and you better hope she is alright or I will personally come over and make sure she is, by any means necessary, rules and agreements be damned!”

Cassia found she could not be quiet after all. “Adriene, I am _not_ alright,” she said, and the way her voice shook at her sister’s name made her almost not continue, but she had to say _something_ at least. “What did you think would happen? I’m begging you, don’t make this worse.” Her voice hitched at her last words, breaking off as she tried to swallow down a sob. She wanted to be angry at her sister, shout at her even, but all she could feel right now was an overwhelming sadness. 

“You don’t get to make any demands, Adriene, not after what your people tried to pull tonight.” Cullen narrowed his eyes at the phone, looking like he was genuinely getting angry again. “But if you want to come here, be my guest,” he said firmly. “I’d like to see you try.” Before Adriene could say anything further, he hung up. 

Part of Cassia had hoped that her suspicion about her sister had been wrong. But the fact that Adriene had called her just now, clearly already distressed, only seemed to confirm Cassia’s thoughts. 

“You know you’ve probably made her think you really did something to me at first, right?” she asked Cullen who only shrugged.

“Your agency clearly has no regard for your safety. Let them worry, I say.”

Cassia was unsure how she felt about this, but she couldn’t deny that something petty inside her thought he had a point. “What do we do now?” she asked. “They know you found the bugs, and my sister is probably on her way over here as we speak.” The whole situation had just become so much more complicated, and Cassia had no idea what it all meant. Did Adriene put a bug on her because the agency somehow didn’t trust her anymore? Or because they wanted to go back on their deal with Cullen and needed additional evidence against him? “One thing is certain, we can’t trust the agency to keep their deals anymore.”

Cullen nodded, a grim look on his face. “You are probably not going to like this, but I have a contingency plan for this.”

“For this?” Cassia was floored. “And one that includes me?”

“For something like this at least,” Cullen conceded. “And of course it includes you.”

“I’m listening.” Right at this moment, anything seemed better than just waiting around for Adriene or the agency to do anything else.

“Maybe not everything is lost,” Cullen speculated. “Maybe we can even salvage the deal, but in any case, we need time to come up with a decent plan on how to solve this.” 

Cassia nodded, thinking about Adriene’s words from before. _‘Or I will personally come over and make sure.’_ “Well, we have about twenty minutes, give or take.”

Cullen gave her an intense look before holding out his hand. “Do you still trust me? Trust me that I will not let anything happen to you and that you will be safe with me?” he asked, and for a second, Cassia was reminded of the very first time he had asked her to trust him. Back in the museum when she had been worried about a silly _‘do not enter’_ sign. Her answer had been easy back then. She hadn’t known anything about him, and it hadn’t been about anything dangerous. And yet, despite everything that had happened since then, despite everything that was at stake right now, she felt like her answer was even easier now.

“I trust you,” she said, putting her hand into his. 

Cullen squeezed it briefly, and she could see the relief, the pure elation running through him at her words. 

“Good,” he said, letting out a deep breath before squaring his shoulders. Everything about him turned very serious all of a sudden, focused. He was in planning mode as he looked at her. “Lose the clothes, who knows how many more bugs are planted somewhere. Take whatever you want from my closet for now, we can go shopping once we arrive.” 

Cassia nodded, already busy with unbuttoning her dress as she went towards his bedroom. “Once we arrive where?” she called over her shoulder. “Where are we going?”

“Away!” Cullen simply answered, and she heard him going through the apartment, most likely packing some essential things. “Trust me, you’re going to like it!”

They packed only the barest necessities, and not much later, Cassia found herself on the way to a small private airfield just outside the city. When she stepped outside the car and saw the runways, she realized that Cullen hadn't just boasted when he had talked about sending a private plane to fetch her. It was smart, she thought. Much less tractable than a commercial plane at a public airport. The agency would have only had to run one search for either her real identity or the brand-new fake one and they would have known immediately where they had gone. Like this, though? They would have no idea.

Cassia didn’t ask again where they were going. She found that she didn’t really care as long as it took them away from Kirkwall for now. Away from the painful thoughts about her sister. The problem wasn’t gone, and Cassia knew she would have to face it eventually, would have to face Adriene. But for now, she could try to push those thoughts away into the farthest corner of her mind. Get some distance both mentally and physically.

When they landed, the first thing Cassia noticed was the air. It had an unmistakable aroma to it. The slightly salty taste of the ocean flooded her senses the moment they stepped off the plane. Like promised, Cullen took her shopping for some essentials, a bathing suit, and a couple of things for Cassia to wear before settling down in a small bungalow near the beach with the firm resolution to not think about anything but each other for the next couple of days at least.

Cassia couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought that even Cullen’s safe house seemed to come with an absolutely amazing view. Not that she was complaining. Just like she realized that at least half of their shopping seemed to have been a huge waste of money. She had no doubt that she would do nothing but spend the next two or three days in bed or at the beach. Whatever made certain that her thoughts didn’t drift back to Kirkwall for now.


	8. Tell Me What To Do

On the late afternoon of their third day, Cassia found herself lazing around on the bed, watching the raindrops fall outside.

Despite the rain, it wasn’t cold at all, the windows were wide open and the sounds of it mixed with the waves was deeply soothing. Up until half an hour ago, the sky had been nothing but bright sunshine, and when the rain had suddenly started, Cassia and Cullen had run back inside. Their running hadn’t helped, however. They had been completely drenched by the time they had reached a roof over their head. Not that either of them minded; they had been laughing the entire way back despite it.

A warm shower later Cassia sat on top of the blankets in the bedroom, wearing one of Cullen’s button-down shirts. In her hand was a cup of tea as she waited for him to be done with his shower as well. She still deeply engrossed in simply watching the raindrops fall. Listening to the gentle noise of the rain felt almost meditative and Cassia felt calmer than she had been in a very long time. Something about this place was absolutely peaceful, making it easy to leave everything in Kirkwall far, far behind for the moment. The beach she was overlooking was completely empty and Cassia drank some of her still hot tea when she heard him come in.

“Even with the rain, it’s still incredibly beautiful outside,” she sighed, and Cullen hummed in agreement.

“I promised you'd like it here, didn’t I?” He sat down next to her, making himself comfortable against the headboard, and Cassia immediately shifted closer so she could lean against him. He felt warm against her, only wearing a pair of loose pants, and his hair was still wet from the shower.

“You did,” she agreed. And he hadn’t promised too much. The last few days had been nothing but peaceful. “I wish we could just stay here forever, ignore everything else, and just… be,” she said wistfully, still lulled in by the soothing rain sounds. 

“We could…” Cullen said lightly, and Cassia smiled at the thought.

“We’d never have to worry about anything else again. Well, at least about nothing more complex than what we want to eat for dinner.” It sounded absolutely perfect in her mind. “Waking up to this view every day…”

“No appointments, no meetings,” Cullen agreed, sounding just as wistful as she did. “We could do whatever we want, whenever we want to do it.”

Whatever, whenever… Cassia had a few ideas about just what she would want. “I would never get up while it’s still dark outside ever again! Sleeping in every day.”

Cullen smiled. “That sounds like a plan! We could get a house like this, directly at the beach. Something cozy with enough space to…”

He trailed off, and when Cassia looked at him, she could see he was looking outside, lost in thought. He had this look again. She had seen it on his face several times before. In the beginning, she had been unable to pinpoint exactly what it meant, but over the course of the four months they now knew each other, she had gotten more and more of an idea about it.

“You are not just daydreaming, are you?” she asked curiously. “You are serious about this.”

Cullen tore his eyes away from the view outside and looked at her. “About a future with you? I am always serious about that.”

By now, Cassia had a good understanding of just how serious he was about them, but nonetheless, the way he was so direct about just how much he wanted a future together with her filled her with a sense of wonder. “You’d actually want to leave everything else behind? For me?” She knew he wanted her to stay with him, but she hadn’t thought that he would actually think about leaving the Order behind.

“For us,” Cullen clarified. When he saw her questioning expression, he simply smiled at her. “Cassia, if the last few days taught me anything, it’s that there is nothing in my life that I care about as much as I care about you,” he said slowly, his eyes locking with hers at his next words. “So yes, you need only say the word.” 

“I…” she started, only to fall silent again. Cassia felt at a loss for words. In a way, it was a little bit like the time when he had told her he wanted her to stay with him in the first place. That first time had already been a lot to process. This felt like even more. “I don’t know what to say,” she finally admitted.

Cullen chuckled lightly. “You don’t need to say anything right now. It’s just something to think about.”

Cassia put her teacup on the nightstand, and for a moment, they both simply settled back into watching the rain outside. Cullen’s arm had come around her, and his hand was drawing nonsensical patterns onto her shoulder. The silences between them were never uncomfortable, Cassia thought. They could talk for hours on end sometimes, never running out of topics, but whenever they weren’t talking, the atmosphere was just as open and just as peaceful between them. 

Cassia’s mind was busy though, thinking about the things he had just said. She knew he wasn’t exaggerating, that he meant every word, and she couldn’t help the questions that entered her mind.

“What would you want to do if you leave everything in Kirkwall behind?” she finally asked, turning her head to look at him again.

“I don’t actually know yet,” Cullen mused, looking like he was only really starting to think about it himself right at this moment. “Start over somewhere? Try something new? I am not overly attached to the work structure of the Order if I am honest.”

“You are not?” Cassia asked. So far she had always assumed that he certainly enjoyed what he did. “So what is it that has kept you with them so far?”

“They pay really well?” Cullen could see that Cassia was looking skeptical, and he gave her a non-committal shrug. “I spent so much time in the Order, I never really thought about doing anything else. There was never any reason to.”

That was something Cassia could actually somewhat understand. “It’s as good a reason as any, I guess,” she murmured, thinking about her own situation. “I can’t really judge, I’m only with the agency because I never had any idea what I would want except for not letting my sister down.” She felt a sense of sadness creeping up on her, trying her best to ignore it for now.

Cullen gave her a sympathetic look. “That’s not the worst reason for doing something,” he said softly. “On the contrary.”

Thinking about the whole screwed-up situation at the agency was not something Cassia really wanted to do right now, and she let out a dry laugh, trying to steer the conversation away from her sister. “I doubt either one of our bosses would be overly happy with our _ ‘we just didn’t have any better ideas so far’ _ motivations.”

“So we both have a questionable work ethic,” Cullen chuckled softly before turning more serious again. “But honestly? I could try doing something else. Something more…” he seemed hesitant to finish his sentence.

“More legal?” Cassia asked directly.

Cullen shrugged again, and not for the first time, Cassia was fascinated by the way he sometimes looked like the very important topic he was talking about was no more interesting than the weather. 

“I could,” he said simply. “I will, if you want me to.”

“I don’t doubt that you could,” Cassia smiled at him. ”But Cullen, you know you don’t need to try and change your entire life for my sake, right?” After what he had already said about leaving the Order, she wasn’t all that surprised anymore. That he would consider it. 

“Cassia, I am trying really hard to be a better person here,” he mumbled, not meeting her eyes as he looked outside again. “For you,” he added softly. “Let me at least try this, please?”

“And I absolutely appreciate the thought,” Cassia said immediately, assuring him that she was definitely aware of what he was trying to do. “But I also want you to know that I don’t expect that from you.” She needed him to know that while she was still wary about some things, she definitely wasn’t judging him for his life choices so far. “Nor do I think it’s necessary,” she added almost as an afterthought.

There was a definite look of surprise on Cullen’s face as he turned back to look at her. “You don’t?”

This time, it was Cassia’s turn to shrug. “From what I’ve seen, most of what you’ve been doing with the Order is skimming off the top. You do a lot of things that make obscenely rich people a little less rich.” She had tried to still feel appropriately outraged but without too much success so far. “I have surprisingly little problems with that.”

“It’s still illegal, Cassia…” Cullen shook his head in what looked like amused disbelief. “It’s not like I’m doing something noble to give back to the poor or anything.”

“What, are you judging me for caring as little about that as you do?” Her eyebrows rose. “That’s not hypocritical at all, huh?”

Cullen held up a hand as he shook his head. “No, not judging you, not at all!” he assured her. He let out a small sigh. “But I can’t say I’m not worried that you wouldn’t change your mind about that if it became part of your everyday life.”

Cassia wanted to wave those worries off, but it wasn’t like she couldn’t understand where they were coming from. “Cullen, do you remember what you said to me when you told me that you knew all about me?”

He looked a bit confused, obviously trying to remember exactly what she meant. “I said a lot that day, you have to be more precise.”

“Not untrue,” Cassia laughed before she went on to explain what part she had been talking about, “You said that you’ve read all my files and that I am a remarkably good person on paper.”

Cullen nodded slowly. “I remember, but what is your point exactly?”

“My point is the ‘ _ on paper _ ’ part,” Cassia said. “It is only that, on paper. I mean, I lie on my taxes like every other person.” She wasn’t sure if he was following her, understanding what she was trying to say, but she continued anyway. “I don’t recycle because I am too lazy, but I sure as hell tell everyone I’m doing it when they ask, even my sister.” It sounded ridiculous to try and make a point with this, but she hoped that he would see the larger picture she was trying to paint here. “You know that none of my friends ever voluntarily play cards with me? Because I cheat every single time and they know, even though they don’t catch me and can’t say how I am doing it. But they know!”

“Cassia…” Cullen looked a bit at a loss listening to her. It seemed obvious from his face that he definitely wasn’t seeing the overall point she was trying to make. “That is not even remotely the same,” he said slowly.

“I know it isn’t, I’m not trying to pretend it is,” Cassia assured him. “But sometimes I think you have me built up as this perfectly good person who would never voluntarily do something wrong, never even think a bad thought, and I am trying to tell you that that’s not me,” she tried to explain what she wanted him to understand in a better way. “I am quite selfish, Cullen. Not to a point where I am fine with making others suffer for my advantage, but selfish enough to not have a problem with what you do.” Her eyes found his, and she looked at him intensely, trying to make him see her point. “I am not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly realize that what you are doing is morally wrong and leave you for it,” she promised. “I know it’s not right. Not good. And I am telling you: I don’t care!”

When she finished talking, Cullen looked stunned. Cassia still wasn’t entirely sure if she had actually convinced him of just how serious she was about this, but at least his look wasn’t amused or skeptical anymore. 

“That’s probably something you shouldn’t mention at the next personnel evaluation at your agency…” he murmured, shaking his head slightly.

“Yeah, about that…” Cassia started. That was another point she had been thinking about a lot over the past few days. She took a deep breath. “I think I’m done with the agency.” Spoken out loud, the sentence felt even more right than it had in her head already. “It was probably always just a matter of time, but after this? That time is definitely now.”

“Can’t say I blame you,” Cullen nodded. “Any idea about what you want to do instead?”

It was a good question. One that Cassia had asked herself already. So far, she didn’t have a very satisfying answer.

“I don’t know yet,” she admitted. “I never really…“ She sighed. “I usually went along with whatever Adriene did. She is the decisive one, the one that takes charge, you know?”

“You never wanted to go out and make your own decisions?” Cullen asked curiously.

“I don’t even know? I never thought about it.” Cassia had to pause for a moment. It wasn’t like she had felt that someone else decided everything for her up until now. After all, she had made plenty of decisions in her life. It wasn’t everybody else’s fault that she cared so little about the outcomes that they felt almost meaningless to her. 

“It’s not like Adriene, or anyone really, ever forced me into any decision. I guess it was simply always easier to just… follow along?” Doing as she had always done wasn’t an option anymore, though. “But now I’ll have to figure out what I want to do next. I  _ have  _ to take charge for once, I think.”

“Well, you don’t have to be alone doing that at least,” Cullen assured her. “We both have to figure out where to go from here after all.”

Cassia nodded, absentmindedly leaning her head against his shoulder while humming in agreement. “We can’t put that decision off forever, I guess.”

“No,” he agreed. “But we also don’t have to decide anything right at this moment either. You can take your time. Think about what you might want.”

What a very Cullen thing to say, Cassia thought. Not for the first time, she felt the irony in him of all people being the most supportive and encouraging person she had met outside of her family. Given the circumstances under which they had gotten close, it seemed especially marvelous. In the beginning, she had assumed that his way of being so thoroughly accommodating, of trying to anticipate her every thought and wish, might just be a tactic of his. His way of getting her to let her guard down. But the better she got to know him, the more she realized that it just was who he was. 

“I can take my time and then what?” she couldn’t help but ask. “I tell you what I want and you make it happen?”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Cullen muttered, but there was a glint in his eyes that made her pause.

“I wasn't complaining,” she assured him, her eyes still locked with his. “Just say the word, huh?”

“I said that, but I’m not sure what you are getting at right now.” Cullen sounded adorably confused for a moment as he kept looking at her, obviously waiting for her to say something more.

Meanwhile, Cassia’s mind was working overtime as all the little things she had noticed about him started to come together, forming a brand new picture in her head. Like back at the museum, when he had encouraged her to tell him more of her dreams and pretty straightforwardly offered to make them true. The way he had reacted to her pushing him against the marble column. She remembered his delighted moans when she had pulled on his hair and the way he had been on the phone when she had teased him. 

When they had met, it had taken her a while to realize something about him. He didn’t ask her for things. Sure, he had always made certain that she was on board with everything they did, but he never specifically asked. He hadn’t actually  _ asked _ her out. Instead, he had told her to go out with him. Told her to give him her number. Told her to meet him for lunch. None of these things had ever sounded like a question. When she had once stated that he wasn’t used to not getting his way, she had hit the nail on its head. He had been so used to being in charge and people around him just following his orders that he had probably not even noticed that it even showed in the way he talked. But the more she got to know him, the closer they had gotten, the more that habit had subtly started to shift. So subtle that Cassia hadn’t even realized it up until now. But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. The more she felt like she should have seen it even earlier. A wide smile settled onto her face.

“You look like a cat that just got the cream,” Cullen said, still looking at her with a mildly confused expression.

“I just figured something out!” Cassia’s smile turned into a grin as she sat up straight, turning fully so she could face him.

“Oh?” came his curious reply.

“You’re very used to deciding things,” she said, looking for any sort of reaction on his face. “Telling people what to do is probably something you do a lot, isn’t it?”

“I guess?” Cullen said slowly. “Why?” He was giving her a guarded look, clearly uncertain about where she was going with this.

She ran a hand up his bare arm, carefully watching him as he followed her fingers with his eyes. “Must be difficult, always being the one in charge, the one responsible,” she said, still smiling as she leaned closer. “Especially when all you really want is someone else taking the reins sometimes.”

Cullen’s eyebrows went up. “Cassia, I…” He trailed off almost immediately, his voice just a bit rougher than it had a few moments ago. She was definitely on to something. Her other hand wandered up his chest as she leaned in further, and a moment later, she was half draped over his lap, close enough to place a soft line of kisses onto his shoulder and up his neck.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed certain things,” she purred, feeling his throat move under her lips as he swallowed.

“And what might those things be?” Cullen asked, and he sounded like he was trying to hold himself together. Cassia had every intention of not letting him do that.

“The way you ask my permission for even the smallest things for example,” she murmured against his skin, enjoying the way he shuddered under her lips.

Cullen sounded strained as he got out, “Now that’s just having good manners!”

Cassia smiled against him. “The way you seem ready to get me anything I ask for?” She let her teeth scrape over the sensitive skin where his throat met his neck. 

“I want to make you happy?” It sounded more like a question than an answer. His voice was decidedly shaky by now, but Cullen seemed determined to not acknowledge what Cassia was implying. 

“How about the way you reacted when I sucked you off in the museum,” she tried again, “or better even, how you reacted when I did this…” At her words, her hand went up, burying itself into his by now almost dry hair. With a firm grip, she pulled just hard enough to make him moan slightly. Hard enough to make her point.

Cullen’s breath was going just a bit faster, a visible spark of desire in his eyes. “So what is it exactly that you think you’ve figured out here?” 

Cassia didn’t let go of his hair. Instead, she pulled again, forcing him to tilt his head to give her better access. She caught his earlobe between her teeth, putting just enough pressure on to make him shiver underneath her before she whispered into his ear, “I think that you want nothing more than not to be in charge for once.”

Cullen didn’t answer immediately, but there was a tension running through him that Cassia knew well enough by now. When she shifted slightly, she could feel just how hard he already was against her. It looked like she was not wrong about any of this, but Cullen still seemed to hold the slightest bit of reservation. “Weren’t you the one who just said you find it easier to just follow along though?” he asked quietly as if he wasn’t entirely convinced of Cassia’s intentions yet. 

“Hm, true,” she breathed against him. She had said that not too long ago. Then again, she had also decided that she had to become more active. Apparently in every aspect of her life. “But that’s not what you want from me, is it?” She moved her hips just enough to make him moan at the sensation of his erection being trapped between them before she whispered again into his ear, “You want me to tell you what to do.”

Cullen’s breath stuttered before he let out a low moan, “Cassia…”

She tugged on his hair again, just to shift his head enough so she could kiss him. There was no hesitation at all in Cullen when she did, his lips parting under hers as she immediately deepened the kiss. “Just say the word, Cullen,” she murmured against his lips, staying just out of reach as he tried to kiss her again.

She could practically see the moment that he decided to stop trying to keep up any sort of pretense as his eyes widened and another shiver went through him. “Please!” His voice was shaky as he looked at her. “Cassia…  _ please! _ ” 

His pleading tone sent a wave of excitement through Cassia. This was definitely new to her, but she could feel the heat pooling inside her at the thought of just how much he wanted her. At the possibilities in front of her. She remembered their phone call from a while ago, and the tremor that had been in his voice then, so very similar to how he was sounding now, and it gave her an idea.

“Undress me, Cullen,” she urged him on. “I want you to take off my clothes.”

Without hesitation, he started doing what she told him to, undoing one button after the other until the shirt fell open and he could push it off her shoulders. Both of Cullen’s hands went to her hips, and he gave her a questioning look as his fingers slid across the line of her panties. 

“All of my clothes,” Cassia nodded before she started to move so he could actually take them off. With a push at his shoulder, she nudged him away from the headboard until she alone was leaning against it with him in front of her. A moment later, he pulled the last remaining bit of clothing down her legs and off her. 

“What do you want me to do?” he asked almost breathlessly, and Cassia couldn’t help but gasp softly at his eagerness. She let her own hand wander down between her breasts as she slowly spread her legs.

“I am going to let you watch,” she said softly. “Just like you asked me to.” 

A deep growl from Cullen was her answer as he kept watching her with hungry eyes. Following the trail of her hand as it went lower and lower. There was something else Cassia remembered from their phone call though.

“Talk to me, Cullen,” she told him. “Tell me all the things you truly want from me.” Her fingers slid through her own folds, gently teasing herself as she looked at him daringly. “Tell me!”

She could see him swallow, his eyes never leaving her. “Cassia,” he groaned again, unable to form more coherent words for a moment. A twitch in his arm looked like he was almost reaching out to her, and Cassia gave him a stern look.

“No touching, just watch for now,” she reminded him. “Or do I have to send you out of the room so you won’t be too distracted by the view anymore?”

Cullen took a deep breath and his eyes fell closed for a moment. His hands clenched into fists as he shook his head. When he opened his eyes again, they were full of desire, but she could also see a renewed focus in them as he started to talk. 

“I could probably watch you for hours like this,” Cullen said, his eyes raking over her exposed form, following her fingers as she circled them around the little nub that made her shiver with want whenever she drew closer. “You’re right,” he suddenly admitted openly, “I want nothing more than to just do what you tell me to.” 

Cassia felt her own breath hitch at his admission, almost surprised by just how arousing the thought actually was to her. She had never thought of herself as someone who liked to be in control of anything, but it seemed like she was just discovering a brand new version of herself tonight. 

“I love watching you fall apart with pleasure,” Cullen went on, still looking at her intently. “But even more than that, I want you to take your pleasure from me.” 

Cassia brought down her other hand and pushed two of her fingers inside of her at his words, moaning slightly at the feeling of her touch combined with his voice. “You are just getting to watch for now,” she reminded Cullen as she slid her fingers in and out of herself. “But later…” she sighed softly as her hand sent small waves of pleasure through her. She was getting so close already. His eyes on her and the things he said made every little touch of her own hands all the more delicious. “Keep talking!” she insisted, and Cullen did.

“Just looking at you,” he sighed. “You are everything I’ve ever dreamed of, and I don’t even know where to start with all the things that I want from you.” 

Cassia’s eyes widened at the intensity of his words. Her own breath was unsteady by now as her hand between her legs picked up speed. “Cullen,” she moaned, feeling herself getting closer and closer already. 

“I want to wake up next to you every morning knowing that the only thing I have to do is make you happy somehow,” he added with an urgency that pushed Cassia near the edge. She didn’t want this to end so soon already, trying hard to pace herself, but Cullen seemed to have no regard for that thought as he gave her a look so full of longing it sent fire through her body. 

“Damn it, Cassia,” he cursed quietly, his fingers twitching with the need to touch, his whole body tense from holding back, “I love you!” 

His words went through her like an electric current, and whatever she had tried to calm herself down completely lost all its effect as she felt her orgasm ripple through her like a force of nature, unstoppable and overwhelming. Cassia cried out his name as she felt herself tighten around her own fingers, riding out the pleasure running through her, her hands almost shaking under the strain. Her eyes had fallen shut, and when she opened them again a while later, Cullen was still watching her, everything in his body still beyond tense.

“You!” she breathed out. “That was basically cheating!” She was still trying to get her breathing under control when she noticed he seemed to be waiting for her to tell him something. “Damn,” she cursed quietly, “Cullen, get up here and kiss me!”

Without any hesitation, he was suddenly close, right in front of her, doing exactly as she had told him to. His lips pressed against hers and she felt his tongue slipping into her mouth, causing her to let out another moan under the intensity of his kiss. 

“I love you too,” she whispered against his lips in between kisses, and a warm feeling went through her as she felt his smile against her before he went for another kiss.

The smile wasn’t the only thing of his she could feel pressed against her, though, and Cassia gently pushed at his shoulder. “I’m not done with you yet,” she promised with a wide grin. “Lie down, on your back.”

With a shiver of pure need running through him, Cullen followed suit immediately, and Cassia didn’t take long to get him out of the loose pants he was wearing. There was so much want in his eyes that she felt her body tingle with renewed need as she settled down on top of him.

“You said something about wanting me to take my pleasure from you,” Cassia said softly as she let her hand wander over his length in a teasing gesture, barely touching him. “But what about your pleasure? Any thoughts about that?”

Cullen shook his head, his eyes glued to hers. “Whatever you want, Cassia!” 

Again, his words made something in her flutter, waking something inside of her that she hadn’t even known existed. “Oh, I want!” she breathed out. “I want so much from you…” 

Cullen’s hands had come to rest on her hips. He wasn’t pushing her in any direction, but his slight nudge was enough to tell Cassia what was on his mind, and she moved along with it. She let him gently guide her until her knees were on either side of his head, and he looked up at her from in between her thighs with so much anticipation in his eyes it made her slightly tremble. 

“Then take it!” he said with a low moan, and Cassia’s hands were in his hair again, pulling slightly, guiding his mouth just where she wanted him. His tongue parted her folds without hesitation, and a moment later, he was sending brand new bursts of pleasure through her. 

“Yes!” Cassia hissed as flicks of his tongue hit her just perfectly. Cullen's eyes were wide open, and when she looked down at him, they were burning into hers, looking almost pleading. She moved her hips slightly in the same rhythm he set with his tongue, letting out a sigh of pleasure as Cullen moaned against her flesh. Experimentally, she tightened her hands in his hair, pulling harder than before and she could feel his reaction immediately, his tongue going faster as he shuddered underneath her. When she did it again, a little bit harder than before even, Cullen’s eyes crossed, and Cassia felt herself getting close when he closed his lips tightly around her clit and sucked. A small cry left Cassia’s lips as she kept pushing herself against his eager mouth.

“Add your fingers,” she got out in between moans, and Cullen obeyed eagerly, shifting the tiniest amount before he pushed three of his fingers inside of her, immediately curling them in the way that never failed to make Cassia nearly scream out his name. Which she was doing only a second later as she came again, clenching around the fingers inside her and shuddering against his still fluttering tongue.

“Stop!” she breathed as she felt herself getting overly sensitive. She could see the reluctance in him but despite it, he immediately went lax under her. “Damn,” she cursed slightly, “I wanted to come with you inside me.” Cassia looked down his body, watching his twitching cock straining at her words. When she moved off his face she felt another spark of heat running through her at the sight of him, at her wetness spread all over his mouth and chin. Cullen slowly licked his lips, his eyes never leaving her as he savored the taste of her on his tongue, and Cassia knew in that moment that she would never get enough of this. Of him. 

Slowly, she moved down his body, reaching for his length and stroking him a couple of times as she sent him a teasing grin. “I guess you’ll have to make me come again then,” she said with a sweet smile as another twist of her hand sent a full-body shudder through him.

“Cassia,” Cullen moaned her name again at her ministrations. “I don’t think I can last very long if you do this.”

Cassia let out a breathless laugh. “I don’t think so either,” she grinned. “But you will hold out for me anyway, right? You won’t come until I tell you to!”

She could feel the tremor of his groan going through his entire body at her words, but Cullen nodded eagerly. Her hands roamed over his chest, and following a hunch, she let her nails scratch over his skin. The reaction she got was powerful as he shuddered under her touch, his eyes losing focus for a moment, much like they had when she had pulled his hair.  _ Interesting, _ Cassia thought. Something she should definitely keep in mind for further exploration. A moment later, she positioned herself, guiding him to her entrance and sinking down on top of him until he was all the way inside of her.

Cassia let out a pleased sigh. He felt amazingly good inside her after all the build-up, and she grinned widely at him as she started to move. “Touch me, Cullen,” she said as she started to move and his hands were on her before she was even done talking, one teasing her breasts while the other one went straight between her legs, finding her sweet spot again.

Cassia moved slowly at first, taking her time to enjoy the feeling of his entire length almost slipping out of her before grinding down onto him again. “Yes,” she murmured, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment as a sharp pinch of her nipple sent sparks of pleasure through her. “Make me see stars again.”

It didn’t take Cassia long to be right back at the brink of another orgasm. She watched Cullen fight with the impulse to just let go, and the strain on his face as he tried to stay in control and the visible need that came off him was pure bliss. Again, she let her nails scratch over his chest, watching in fascination as he writhed in pleasure beneath her. 

“I could do this every day to you if I wanted and you would absolutely let me, wouldn’t you?” she asked breathlessly, looking down and drinking in every little sigh he made, every moan and twitch under her touch. As she picked up her pace, grinding down onto him with more and more force, she continued, “I could just ride you like this, make you serve my every need, and you would not only love it, you would thank me for it.”

Cullen’s eyes rolled back into his head for a moment, and Cassia watched in fascination how he nodded frantically as he bit down on his lips, his whole face tense as he was trying to not come yet. “Yes,” he breathed out in a broken moan. “Whatever you want… Whenever you want it!”

Watching him fight his own pleasure so hard just to obey her rule while seeing the desire boiling inside him was enough to nearly send Cassia over the edge on its own. But she wasn’t done with him yet. She leaned slightly forward, changing the angle of him inside her with it until the tips of her hair were dragging over his chest. Further and further, she bent over until he was forced to stop moving his hand for a moment as she ground against him in short, strong bursts. Her lips hovered over his, teasing him with the bare hint of a kiss as she locked her eyes with his.

“Cullen,” she murmured against his lips, “I want to hear you.” With another sharp snap of her hips, she made him moan again before her teeth pulled on his lower lip, biting down hard enough to have him buck up into her in response before she whispered, “Beg me to let you come!”

The noise he made at her words went straight to her core, curling heat inside her as she leaned back and watched him struggle for air between his moans. His fingers immediately started moving again, and because he was Cullen and he was utterly hers, he didn’t hesitate even for a second.

“Please Cassia,” his voice was barely more than a broken moan as he shivered under her touch. “Please, let me come.” The struggle of keeping himself from mindlessly thrusting up into her was still prominent on his face. “Please,” she whispered again. “I need you to let me come. Please, Cassia…”

The look of utter helplessness on his face stoked the heat in her into a burning fire, and with a small cry, she pushed herself down against him, pleasure flooding through her once more as Cullen kept his fingers moving until her last shiver subsided.

When she gasped for breath, still staring at him he looked more on edge than she had ever seen him before. Suddenly, she understood why he had been so enthusiastic about seeing her fall apart under his touches. It was a glorious feeling to know she was responsible for his current state. 

“Go on,” she urged him, taking his hands and placing them onto her hips again. “I want to see you let go now!” 

Cullen didn’t need any further prompting. His grip on her hips tightened as he moved her along, pushing up into her at a fast pace. Cassia raked her nails along his skin once more, enjoying the twitch of his muscles underneath her fingertips as she let them scratch over each part of his chest she could reach. She had never thought herself as being possessive before, but right at this moment, all she could think was one little word. “Mine!” she growled softly, and Cullen sped up once more, his fingers clenching into her hips and thighs as he suddenly went rigid just before he roared her name and spilled himself deep inside of her. 

For a moment, everything seemed strangely quiet as the only things filling the room with noise were the rain from outside and their harsh breaths.

When Cullen opened his eyes again, they looked at her with an unbelievable warmth in them, and Cassia sighed softly as she moved enough to get off him and slink down onto the bed into his open arms. Her head came to rest on his chest, and Cullen’s arm was around her almost instantly, holding her close to him. 

“That was… something else,” he murmured against her hair, still sounding somewhat overwhelmed, like he wasn't entirely certain what exactly just happened. He certainly wasn’t complaining though.

“It was,” Cassia agreed. “It was good though, right?” She wasn’t sure why she even felt the need to ask, she was rather certain that Cullen had enjoyed this just as much as she had after all, but something in her still wanted to hear him say it.

“Good?” Cullen chuckled, a sliver of disbelief in his voice. “Cassia, that was unbelievable! I never…,” he paused briefly, unsure what to say exactly. “I never thought I’d…” 

“I know the feeling,” Cassia mumbled when he trailed off again. There were things she had just discovered that she would have never even thought of before today. It felt almost strange somehow that it had taken her so long to find this out about herself. Or maybe it didn’t have anything to do with time, but more with who she was with. Maybe she had needed the exact right person to show her something new about herself. One thing was clear to her, whatever happened in the future, making sure that they would face it together had become her absolute priority.

She shifted, tilting her head up enough so she could kiss him again. It had already felt amazing before, every single time they had kissed, she had been swept away by just how good it felt, how perfect. But now, there was another level there. It felt  _ right _ . Cullen’s lips on hers felt like something inevitable, something that was meant to be. With a pleased sigh, she leaned back as he started to pepper her neck with more kisses. His hand was lazily playing with her hair as an idea started forming in Cassia’s head.

“Cullen,” she said quietly, but with a hint of anticipation in her voice as she felt a plan take form. “I think I might have an idea of what we could do that gives us all the freedom and lets us both have what we want.”

Cullen didn’t pause what he was doing, still busy with kissing every bit of skin on her neck that he could reach. 

“I’m guessing you mean for the future and not just for the next few foreseeable hours, right?” he murmured against her in between kisses, and Cassia chuckled. 

“Oh, I’m sure I could come up with something for the next few hours as well…” she said, letting out a small sigh before she smiled at him. “But yes, I mean for the future. For us.”

Cullen drew back a bit at her words, looking at her with curiosity in his eyes. “I’m all ears.”

It wasn’t a very complex idea. At first glance, it felt decidedly simple to Cassia, though she had her suspicions that the execution would involve quite a few elaborate things she had no idea about yet. But from what Cullen had said earlier and her own thoughts about leaving the agency, there seemed to be a rather obvious solution. She shifted slightly in his arm so she could better look at him before she told him her thoughts.

“You said earlier that one of the reasons you are still with the Order is the money, right?” Cullen only nodded, motioning for her to go on. “And you are right at the top of that organization, so the question I’m asking myself is: Just how much access do you have to that money? Their entire finances, I mean?”

For a brief moment, Cullen looked thoughtful, then a slow smile started to spread over his face as he was obviously starting to see where Cassia was going with this.

“I’d say I have access to almost everything. About 95 percent at least?” Cullen grinned at her as he said this, and it felt infectious as Cassia felt herself grinning along.

“So here is my idea: We keep our part of the bargain, we give the agency Meredith because no matter what, it would benefit everyone if she is gone,” Cassia argued and found Cullen nodding along with her again.

“Yes, Meredith needs to go, no matter what,” he agreed with her. “But I see where you are going. We cut off the head and bleed the rest of the Order dry.”

Cassia shook her head, trying to stifle an inappropriate giggle. “Leave it to you to make it sound gruesome and slightly creepy, but yes, basically. You said you wouldn’t mind starting over somewhere else, and with the resources of the Order, the financial part of that would be covered.”

“Covered is an understatement,” Cullen murmured. He seemed to go over several possibilities in his mind. His eyes were slightly unfocused, and Cassia could see he was giving the idea some serious thought. “There would be several possibilities of where to go and what to do from there,” he finally said.

“You mean for localization or on the spectrum of legality?” Cassia asked full of interest about just where his thoughts here going on this topic.

“There is the analyst, I see,” Cullen chuckled, giving her a fond look. “I mean both, actually. I have a lot of contacts in all sorts of places that are not dependent on Meredith at all. We could go anywhere we want. Do anything we want.” Suddenly, he seemed to think about something else, and his look became a bit more serious. “What do you want, though? If we take the money and leave, you’d have to leave behind a lot, after all.”

Cassia thought back to that moment in the shower a few weeks ago when he had told her he wanted her to stay with him. There had been no talk about what she would have to give up for that then. It probably hadn’t even been on his radar back then. That he was asking now made her feel warm inside. 

“Leaving the agency won’t be hard,” she said slowly. It wouldn't be. It felt like she was already done with that chapter of her life. There were other things to consider, though. People. But it wasn’t like she planned to disappear and never contact them again. “I am certain I can stay in contact with the few people I care about.” An untraceable phone would be all she really needed for that. A shadow fell over her face. “That is if the few people even care about that and want me to,” she quietly added.

Cullen’s arm tightened around her, pulling her a bit closer in a gesture of comfort. “As much as I dislike what happened, maybe you should try and find out why your sister did what she did?” He gave her an encouraging smile. “It might explain some things. Or, if not, it might at least give you some closure about what happened.” 

Cassia’s first instinct was to shake her head. What good would finding out motivations do now? What happened, happened, after all, and she highly doubted that her sister could give her a reason that would make Cassia understand why she had gone behind her back. And even if it would explain her reasons, it would still not make it right. She thought back to the moment in Cullen’s apartment when she had started to realize what had most likely happened. How awful she had felt. There had even been a moment where she had thought that she could understand just how betrayed Cullen felt. And yet, he had listened to her. Not at first, but he had let her explain. Had even confessed that it ultimately didn’t matter to him.

Cassia sighed. Adriene was her sister. Her twin sister. They had gone through so much together. Their entire life so far. Cullen was right. She needed to find out why Adriene had done what she did. And in turn, she owed it to her sister to explain her point-of-view. If Cassia was really honest with herself, she had to admit that, in the end, whatever had driven her sister to this would not change the fact that Cassia loved her. Would always love her. Knowing the why behind all this would perhaps make it easier to find some common ground again. If Adriene would even want that. Cassia couldn’t help but still feel some apprehension. If Adriene had bugged her because she didn’t trust her own sister anymore or because she wanted to stop what was going on between her and Cullen permanently, she would not look favorable to Cassia’s future plans, after all. 

“You are right. But now I feel almost ridiculous,” she admitted to Cullen, shaking her head in disbelief. At his questioning look, she explained, “Because I’ve just gone from being angry at her to being worried she will most likely disapprove of my idea of running away into a potential life of crime with you.”

“Something you’ll also only find out if you talk to her,” Cullen added thoughtfully. “I guess that’s one of your next steps then.”

Cassia nodded, snuggling closer into his embrace before she closed her eyes with a sigh. “That just went to the top of my to-do list. What about you?”

“You want  _ me _ to talk to Adriene as well?” He tried to sound innocent, but Cassia could hear the amusement he couldn't quite banish from his voice, and without even opening her eyes, she playfully swatted his arm.

“You know exactly what I meant,” she said with a small laugh. “How are we going to do this? What is our first move?”

“I’d have to make some arrangements,” Cullen sounded a lot more serious now, but he didn’t stop playing with her hair almost absentmindedly. “Make some calls first. I can probably move a lot of assets through Fenris. As for the evidence against Meredith…” he trailed off for a moment, obviously thinking some things over. “If we only want to bring her down and not half of the Order with her as planned, I think I might already have enough.” 

Cassia smiled at his words. It seemed like things were slowly coming together. It was a huge step forward from where they had been this morning. It felt almost too convenient, she thought for a moment. Too easy. When she told Cullen so, he hummed in affirmation. 

“It sounds easier than it will be, I’m sure of it,” he finally said. “It will take some time. At least a few days before we can even start with getting things moving.” 

“That gives me time to clear things up with Adriene at least,” Cassia thought out loud. She should try and get in contact with her sister. “Hey, can I use your phone? Since we left mine behind for obvious reasons.”

She only barely managed to not flinch when thinking back to what her new phone had caused. Cullen didn’t seem to care about all of that anymore at least. He only nodded. 

“Sure. It’s in the living room. You want some time by yourself to call her?” he offered directly, and Cassia forced herself to let go of some of the tension that had built up inside her again. 

“That would probably be best,” she agreed. “Though it can wait a few more moments, I really don’t want to get up right now.” 

She could feel Cullen’s chuckle beneath her as he shifted enough to softly kiss her forehead. “You won’t hear any objections to staying like this from me!” And with that, they managed to ignore all upcoming plans for another couple of hours. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the end. There is one big chapter left, and then the two epilogues.  
> I will post all three together next week. ❤  
> This chapter has also matching art that you can find [here on twitter](https://twitter.com/halfbakedporxie/status/1286060506512592899?s=20)


	9. The Price Of Freedom

It was early evening when Cassia finally sat down on the living room couch, calling Adriene. She had felt almost reluctant as she slowly dialed each number, forcing herself past her hesitation. It would do her no good to postpone this. She needed to talk to her sister, and her anxiety about what Adriene would have to say would not go down by postponing this any further. Still, the ringing of the phone alone, waiting for her sister to pick up, drove her almost up the wall. Even more so when it took unusually long for Adriene to pick up. 

Cassia hung up again, checking if she had put in the right number. Everything looked fine. She tried again, but to no success. Either Adriene was deliberately ignoring her phone or she wasn’t in the vicinity of it. Both felt incredibly off for her sister. In moments of crisis, Adriene was practically fused together with her phone. Her not picking up left an uneasy feeling behind. After all this build-up, all the talking herself up to this, it felt very anticlimactic to simply not reach her sister.

Cullen had gone out to get them some take away for the evening, and after a third unsuccessful try, Cassia realized that she most likely would have to postpone her attempts at contacting Adriene. He was back after about half an hour with something delicious that served as a sufficient distraction for her sullen mood. She briefly thought about trying Adriene’s phone again after dinner when Cullen mentioned that he should probably call Fenris to get things started.

It made sense, and Cassia immediately got up. “I’ll give you some privacy,” she said, ready to afford him the same courtesy he had given her earlier, but before she could move, he had reached for her hand, pulling her towards the sofa with him.

“You should stay, this is your plan after all. And it's about you as much as it is about me.” 

Cassia marveled at the complete change in Cullen as she let herself be pulled into his lap. This was the same man who, for weeks, had strictly separated every single bit of his work life, everything pertaining the Order from the things they did together. By now, Cassia suspected that the reason for that had only partly been his need for secrecy and security. That it had been at least in parts also because he had worried that it would drive her away from him. He didn’t seem worried about that anymore, and it made her smile. 

The phone was on speaker, and it took only two rings until someone picked up.

“Hey Cullen,” came Isabela’s voice to Cassia’s surprise. Cullen was about to say something when Isabela directly continued, “Quick question: since when are you into kidnapping?”

Cullen’s eyebrows rose up in clear confusion. “Since never?” He looked at Cassia, and she could see the moment he understood what that question meant

“Ok, cool!” came Isabela’s cheerful sounding voice from the speaker. “So, was this a spur of the moment thing then? Trying to find a new hobby?”

Cassia couldn’t help but chuckle at the lighthearted way the other woman sounded. “I’m completely fine, Isabela!” she assured her, and for a short moment, there was no direct answer. Then she heard another familiar voice.

“I told you it’s not his style…” Fenris was obviously talking to Isabela.

“Thanks, Fenris,” Cullen said. “At least someone who knows me.”

“If he’d kidnapped her,” Fenris went on as if Cullen hadn’t even said anything, “he wouldn’t be so sloppy as to leave any evidence behind that could lead to him!”

Cullen looked slightly taken aback at the blunt declaration, giving Cassia an apologetic look. “He is joking!” he assured her, and Cassia’s chuckle turned into outright laughter.

“Naturally,” came Fenris’ dry voice through the phone. “You know me, I'm a wellspring of humor.”

“You know, the cute agent is pretty convinced you’ve done something horrible to her sister here,” Isabela interjected, and Cassia suddenly felt more than just a little guilty. She should try calling Adriene again. Right after this, she would try again and not stop until she got her sister on the phone.

“I’m really fine, Isabela,” she assured her again, just to make sure. “I’m here because I want to be, and Cullen didn’t do anything to me.”

“Nothing at all?” Isabela said in an overly insinuating tone. “Well, now I’m just disappointed in you, Cullen!”

Cullen let out a groan, shaking his head in disbelief. “Isabela!” He suddenly seemed to realize something. “Wait a moment, Adriene contacted you?”

There was a whisper, Fenris obviously talking to Isabela, and a moment later, they heard the phone being passed over to him.

“She contacted us to find out if we knew anything about you abducting her sister,” Fenris started explaining. “Was pretty convinced you’d done something to her, too.” 

“And what did you tell her?” Cullen asked. 

“Nothing really,” came Fenris’ answer almost directly. 

“Couldn't even find out more about what she wanted, turned out she was bugged,” Isabela added.

“Bugged?” Cullen’s voice sounded sharper all of a sudden, and Cassia took in a deep breath. What the hell was Adriene playing at? After the first few seconds of confusion wore off, though, there was another thought vying for her attention. Something didn’t add up. Her sister was driven, yes. Sometimes, when she had a goal in mind, to a point where she ignored everything else. But Adriene was anything but stupid. To go to a meeting with people like Fenris and Isabela wearing a bug, while knowing about their connection to Cullen and after the fiasco with the bugs that she had put on Cassia? It made absolutely no sense. Unless…

Unless Adriene had been unaware about being bugged, just like Cassia had been.

“She was set up,” Cassia murmured quietly. It had still been loud enough to be heard through the phone though.

Fenris let out a small hum. “That’s what your sister claimed as well when we found the bug.” 

Cassia looked at Cullen who seemed as thrown off by what they were hearing as she was. “Did you believe her?” she asked.

This time, it was Isabela who spoke again. “Not at first,” she said carefully. “But I was much more inclined to believe her after she helped us get away…”

Cassia blinked. Adriene had done what? The past few days must have been very turbulent for her sister to even consider doing something like that.

“Those people coming for us didn’t seem overly friendly,” Fenris added dryly. “Not even to your sister. We think she got arrested when she tried to give us time to disappear.”

“What?” Cassia sat up straight in an instant. “Arrested? By whom?” 

“They looked like your people. You know, law enforcement?” Isabela said plainly. “We didn’t really have time to stick around and check.” After a brief pause, she added, “Maybe you should check with your agency. Let them know you are not dead in the process.” 

Cullen immediately shook his head. “No, not without a plan. Not if we think the agency has arrested your sister. We don’t know what they are playing at!”

He definitely had a point, but everything in Cassia felt restless and uneasy by now. What had happened to her sister? And was it her fault for running away? She needed to find out as soon as possible.

“I can contact a friend. Someone I trust. She will tell me what is going on,” she said. Merrill would know, wouldn’t she? Her friend was probably as worried about her as Adriene had been, Cassia thought. 

Cullen nodded before his attention was back on the phone. “Listen, Fenris, there was another reason I called. Do you remember the thing we talked about a couple of years ago already? When you first told me I should start making back-up plans?”

Fenris seemed to know almost instantly what Cullen was talking about. “You mean the  _ ‘In case of emergency break glass’  _ thing?”

Isabela let out a laugh. “Not glass, but certainly breaking something,” she said, amusement back in her voice.

“That one,” Cullen agreed. “I need you to get started on that.”

There was another pause at the end of the line before Fenris spoke quietly. “Are you certain? You know there is no going back from that.”

“It’s time to start something new,” Cullen said as his only explanation. His hand was squeezing Cassia’s for a brief moment. 

“Do you need anything specific from me right now to get started?”

It was Isabela who answered lightly, her voice still sounding amused somehow. “Well, for starters, you need to tell us where you are because we will need to show up there tomorrow with a literal mountain of paperwork to go through.”

Cassia started to lose track of what the other three were talking about, her mind wandering back to Adriene as Cullen was busy setting up their next moves. As soon as he would be done, she would call Merrill. She needed to find out what had happened to her sister. And what she best could do about it. Forgotten were any misgivings about what Adriene had done. It didn’t matter. Not as long as she was in trouble. 

The moment Cullen was done and hung up the phone, Cassia was already restlessly reaching for it, grateful for the fact that she could never forget anything in relation to numbers. This time, she didn’t have to sit through the anxiety of waiting for someone to pick up. Merrill was on the phone almost instantly.

“Who is this?” the other woman asked, a hint of suspicion in her voice. “I can’t see a caller ID or number!”

Cassia sighed in relief at the sound of her friend's voice in her ear. “It’s me, Merrill.” 

“Cassia! Oh my God, I am so glad you are ok!” Merrill’s voice had gotten so loud in her excitement that Cassia had to hold the phone away from her ear for a moment. 

“I’m ok, Merrill,” she assured her with a small laugh. There was a suspicious sound coming through the line as an answer. “You sound… are you crying?”

Her friend’s voice hitched, and there was a tremble in it as Merrill spoke again. “I am so, so, so sorry! Please believe me, I had no idea that it would come to this!”

Cassia was confused. What was she talking about? “I don’t get what you…”

“I put those bugs on you,” Merrill blurted out all of a sudden.

“You what?” The words hit Cassia like a brick. Merrill? “Why?” 

Her voice still uneven, Merrill rushed to explain. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I swear,” she insisted. “The order came from above, and it sounded like they were just supposed to be there for absolute emergency purposes? Like, if we completely lost you. They were not supposed to be turned on!”

Cassia was still floored, not sure what to do with this new information. “From above?” she asked slowly. Above them sat Director Oswald after all. “And Adriene was fine with that?” 

“She didn’t know,” Merrill answered immediately. “I thought she did? The orders I got sounded like it was cleared with her. But when she showed up at the office later, she was furious.”

A string of complex emotions rushed through her. Elation about the fact that she had been wrong about Adriene and heavy guilt about pretty much the exact same thing following instantly. She had suspected her sister and had been convinced of it, and it hadn’t been Adriene’s fault at all. And here she was, enjoying a beach vacation while her sister was… Cassia took a deep breath, trying not to let her left-over feelings of hurt spill over onto Merrill. The other woman sounded genuinely upset, and after rushing to conclusions about Adriene, Cassia really didn’t want to repeat the same mistake. 

“She really didn’t know?” she asked quietly, wanting to hear it one more time somehow.

“No,” Merrill confirmed what she had said earlier again. “She really didn’t. And I thought she approved of it. I don’t even know why, when I thought about it after, it made no sense, but…”

“But it was an official order,” Cassia completed her sentence. She could see how Merrill could have ended up in this situation.

“And then, not long after, Adriene got arrested for treason,” her friend added, and Cassia could hear the quiet despair in Merrill’s voice. “I am so sorry, I really am.” 

“Treason?” Cassia breathed out in disbelief. Who in their right mind could ever suspect Adriene of all people of treason? “I’m sorry too, Merrill, I ran away when I could have cleared this up.” She had to do something about this whole situation. And she had to do it quickly. “I’ll be back as soon as possible!”

“No!” Merrill almost shouted into the phone. “Don’t come here!” She sounded even more upset than before, and Cassia was confused again.

“What? Why?” She could clear things up instantly after all. She was fine, unharmed and would vouch for Adriene not having done anything that could be considered treason. But Merrill’s next words made her freeze.

“Owen is here!” Merrill said gravely, and Cassia felt an uncomfortable shiver run down her back at that. “He showed up not even a day after you were gone and took over. He had a tactical team with him that is on search duty. Everyone is looking for you.”

Cassia’s eyes widened as she went through all the possibilities that could have led to their boss taking over the case personally. One seemed more worrisome than the next. With a deep sigh, she forced herself to focus back on Merrill.

“Ok, I need you to tell me everything that happened!”

For the next twenty minutes, Merrill gave her a detailed recount of what had happened in the past few days. From the moment she had gotten the order to bug Cassia to the end of the current day. All the bits and details Cassia noticed in her friend’s report started to come together into a picture that was worse than what Cassia had initially imagined. When she had finally hung up, promising to call Merrill again the moment that she had made a plan for how to proceed, her mind was racing.

Not much later, Cullen was next to her, a supporting arm around her shoulder as he handed her another mug of tea.

“From what I got, this was not the news you hoped for,” he said simply, and Cassia shook her head. 

“No. Not even close. The bug on my dress and my phone?” She sighed quietly, not at all comfortable with what she thought she had just figured out. “I think they definitely were a setup, just not for you. It was a setup for me.”

Cullen was definitely surprised at that, giving her a curious look. “For you?”

Cassia nodded, taking a sip of the hot tea, trying her best to let some of the tension out of her body. It worked only partly. “We kept the part about you and me, about us, mostly out of the official reports. Anything that would look like more than an assignment at least,” she started to explain.

“A good decision,” Cullen murmured in agreement.

“Yeah well, it didn’t matter,” she huffed, clenching her hand in anger as she put down the tea cup with a loud noise. “The reports still went to Owen, he still saw that I was in the field instead of Adriene, and from what Merrill found out from snooping around on his personal computer…” Cullen’s eyebrows went up at that, but Cassia waved the unspoken question aside. 

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s a thing she does. She’s good at it too. Anyway, from what she could piece together, he probably bugged me to get something he could use against me.” It was something that, ironically, Adriene had been very worried about at first when he had become their boss. Her sister had been almost paranoid about every single interaction they, Cassia specifically, had with him, not trusting him one bit. Her worries had simmered down when, over time, nothing had happened. Now, Cassia wished she had taken Adriene’s concerns a bit more seriously herself. “Merrill said he already had a tactical team, the ones who arrested Adriene, ready before any of this even happened.”

“You were the one he wanted to arrest,” Cullen voiced the conclusion Cassia herself had come to out loud. She nodded.

“Merrill also said that what he is holding Adriene for, a claim that she helped us get away together, doesn’t hold up at all.” It would not stand any legal measures from what Merrill had said. Not that that was in any way useful right now, Cassia thought. “But I guess, he doesn’t care. He probably knows that it would take forever if someone files a claim about misconduct.” She clenched her jaw, raking her hand through her hair. “He’s not playing by the rules anymore.”

Cullen’s arm around her tightened, and for a moment, she let her head rest on his shoulder, glad that even when everything around her seemed to fall apart, at least she wasn’t alone in this. He would have her back with this, she was sure of it. When Cullen spoke again, he confirmed her thoughts.

“You know, we still have the full resources of the Order at our fingertips right now,” he said quietly. “If you want me to, I could… take care of him.”

There wasn’t a hint of emotion in his voice at the last sentence, and Cassia swallowed, remembering the very thinly veiled threat he had made towards Owen before, back when he had first met Adriene. There was something in his voice and in the way that Cullen wasn’t looking at her that told her just how very serious he was about this.

“You hate that sort of violence,” she pointed out equally as quiet, and at her words, he actually turned around, looking at her intently.

“I do, doesn’t mean I am not capable of it if the situation calls for it.” There wasn’t a hint of humor or even a tiny smile on his face. “Just…”

“Just say the word,” Cassia murmured. A small chill went through her at the realization that it was really all it would take her. One word. One single word, and Cullen would take care of her Owen problem in a heartbeat. She took a deep breath.

“I appreciate it! But I’m not sure if I could go through with that.” It was nearly the truth. If Cassia was honest with herself, she was a bit scared by just how appealing that solution had sounded for a second. It would make some things so easy. An ugly thought about payback reared its head inside her for a brief moment. It would serve him right after making her life hell for so long, wouldn't it? She shook her head. It would not. What Cullen was suggesting wasn’t even comparable, and yet… 

The more Cassia thought about the possibility, the more the uncomfortable truth that she wasn’t as appalled by this than she should be made her shudder. There was a very good chance that she would be absolutely fine with this after all, but then her mind went back to that night in Cullen’s living room. The way he had looked when he had told her about what had happened, and Cassia knew for certain that even if she would be completely fine with this, she would never, ever ask him to.

“We need to find another solution,” she said firmly, and she knew it wasn’t her imagination when she felt Cullen slightly relax next to her. 

“Your former boss might not play by the rules anymore,” he said slowly, “but we don’t have to do that either.” 

A small smile appeared on Cassia’s face. He was right. If Owen wanted to play dirty, she might even have the advantage here. After all, she was quite certain that Cullen had way more experience in that field. Isabela and Fenris would arrive some time tomorrow as well, and Merrill had promised her to keep digging into his private files. She only hoped that Adriene wouldn’t be furious with her for the methods she felt no longer above using to get her sister out of her current predicament. With a grim and determined expression, she looked back at Cullen.

“He will have no idea what’s coming for him!”

* * *

Fenris and Isabela brought much more work with them then Cassia would have anticipated. Despite Cassia feeling like she had no time to lose, it took them almost two days to get everything in order and come up with a semblance of a plan that would minimize the risks for everyone involved. 

The need to just rush back to Kirkwall and try and get to Adriene fought a constant battle with the knowledge that they needed to be organized and well-prepared. Luckily, both Fenris and Isabela seemed genuinely sympathetic and tried their best to work as fast as possible, something that Cassia appreciated immensely. 

The plan that was starting to take shape was a solid one. They would get in contact with Cassia’s boss and negotiate an exchange. Dropping the charges against Adriene and setting her free for the evidence he would need to put away Meredith for good. Meanwhile, and with a little remote help from Merrill, Cassia could use the backup she had made of her work computer to use a backdoor into the agency's database and network to try and locate the exact spot where Adriene was being held. Just in case their negotiations were unsuccessful.

It took Cassia quite a while to get used to navigating the system, despite being intimately familiar with it. But Merrill had advised utter caution to make sure no one on the other end would be aware that there was an unwanted access point to the system. Once she was in, though, it didn’t take her all that long to find what she was looking for. With the first sign of an actually visible result in front of her, Cassia perked up.

“Fenris,” she called him over as she swirled around on her chair. “You are, how did you put it? A retrieval expert?” When he only shrugged lightly, Cassia smiled at him. “I might need you to retrieve something for me. In case we fail with plan A, I mean.”

With raised eyebrows, Fenris looked at her screen that showed the layout of the facility that held Adriene.

“Alright,” he said slowly. “What do you need me to get you and from where exactly?”

With an apologetic look, Cassia scrolled out, showing him the entire scope of the place. “I need you to potentially retrieve my sister from a federal detention center.”

If he had any qualms about the security and the effort required to break into such a high-security facility, they didn’t show on his face. Isabela joined them with a downright delighted look on her face.

“Oh, a prison break,” she said, giving Fenris a happy look. “It has been ages since we did one of those! They are always fun!”

His voice sounded as dry as it usually did, but there was a hint of a smile on his face, betraying his fondness as he replied, “Glad to provide your entertainment, Isabela.”

With a look over to what Cassia had open on her screen, Isabela let out a whistle. “So is this what I think it is?” she asked with barely concealed curiosity in her voice. “You actually just happen to carry with you a way to snoop around in a federal database?”

“Someone may or may not have shown me the necessity of contingency plans lately,” Cassia said with a shrug as she looked back at the plans. “I didn’t think I’d need it so soon though, to be honest.”

“Still, that is no small feat.” Isabela still sounded impressed. “Those systems are quite complex after all. I tried faking one of their encryption algorithms before, it took me weeks to get it right.”

“I designed half of this system myself, with some input from Merrill,” Cassia explained her ability to navigate it with relative ease. 

Isabela’s eyes widened ever so slightly. “Did you now?” she said with a glint in her eyes. “Gorgeous and smart, Cullen hit the jackpot with you, didn’t he?”

The wink Isabela gave her with those words made Cassia blush furiously, for a moment unsure about how to react to the compliment. Luckily, Isabela took pity on her.

“If your plan works, both of you need another set of new identities,” she changed the topic. “If you wanna start over with all that money, you need to be someone else, after all.” She smiled at Cassia as she continued, “Cullen told me you might want to try out something else concerning work as well. Something you like better. I can fake the necessary paperwork you might need for a large number of jobs, I just need to know in what direction you want to go.”

Cassia was quiet for a moment as she mulled Isabela’s words over in her mind. She had thought a lot about what she actually wanted to do over the past few days. Ever since Cullen had brought it up. And if she was truly honest with herself, she had put the one or other thought into it way before that even. She liked the part of her job that dealt in numbers and organization, but she didn’t like what she applied it to all that much. It had led her to form an idea, and she shot Isabela a speculative look.

“Can you make me a librarian?”

Her question hung in the room as the other woman in front of her blinked in confusion.

“A librarian?” Isabela asked as if she had misheard her, but Cassia nodded immediately.

“Something orderly, where I can work with systems I am somewhat used to, but with books instead of government secrets. It sounds perfect, doesn’t it?”

Isabela still looked at her with a skeptical expression, but after a moment she shrugged. “Sure, I can do that. One librarian, coming up.”

A little while later Cassia could hear her talk to Cullen on the other side of the room.

“Cullen,” Isabela said sternly as she handed him a batch of finished documents. “Your girl is a certified genius! She could take over the entire underworld with that brain of hers!” Something in her voice sounded almost desperate as she said this, and Cassia stole a glance at them across the room where Cullen now blinked in confusion. 

“And you sound upset about that, why exactly?”

“Because she has all the ambition of a houseplant,” Isabela huffed before sighing deeply. “Her dream job? It’s being a librarian. A  _ librarian, _ Cullen!”

“Really?” Cullen perked up and looked over to her, giving Cassia a wide smile across the room. “I think that is a marvellous idea,” he said warmly, and Cassia smiled back at him before turning back to her work.

It took them another day and a half until they finally had everything ready and in place. A careful contact with the agency had been established, and to Cassia’s surprise, Director Oswald had agreed to an exchange almost immediately. Only as they were talking did Cassia realize that of course giving all the information to arrest Meredith to him directly would mean he could claim the arrest for himself. After that particular epiphany, her surprise had subsided. Of course a career-making case like this would be worth some dirty work for him. Briefly, Cassia even wondered if he had planned to swoop in and take any credit for their work for himself from the beginning. She wouldn’t put it past him. But he all too willingly agreed to set up a meeting to finalize their agreement. An underlying nervousness was ever-present in Cassia at his refusal to make any definitive statements about Adriene so far, but at least she knew from Merrill that Adriene still hadn't been officially charged with anything and was still held on internal, preliminary charges.

They had set up a meeting right at the private airfield next to Kirkwall, with strict terms. No weapons, no more than two people on each side, and they had put the location into a hanger that would make outside surveillance next to impossible. Cassia’s stomach clenched slightly at the thought of how worried she had been every time Adriene had set up a similar meeting and had gone into a situation where Cassia had been unable to keep an eye on her. 

Cullen seemed to sense her ongoing nervousness as they walked up to the hanger together. 

“I know it is unsettling to walk into a situation like this,” he said quietly. “But don’t forget that they are going to be just as without backup as we are.”

Cassia nodded. He was definitely right about that. And on top of it, they weren’t even completely without backup. At least not without a backup plan. Fenris and Isabela had flown back to Kirkwall a day early and were waiting in place, ready to break Adriene out by force if necessary. If their deal should fall through, Cassia could at least be certain that her sister would most likely be safe. Fenris had sounded more than confident about the break-in, telling her not to worry, and from what Cullen had told her about his reputation, Cassia was inclined to believe him when he said the job would be no problem for him.

But Cassia hoped with all that she had that it wouldn’t come to this. If they would have to break Adriene out by force, her sister would be forced to go on the run. Her career with law-enforcement would instantly be over. And as much as Cassia herself wanted to leave the agency behind, she knew how much Adriene absolutely loved her job. Her sister loved being a field agent, and she was incredibly good at it to boot. Cassia really didn’t want to be the person responsible for ruining that for her.

Cullen’s hand was steady on her back as he looked at her. “Are you sure you want to do this yourself? I can always take over if you’d rather want to sit this out and not face this man,” he offered quietly, but Cassia shook her head.

“I am taking charge, right?” she said with a slightly strained smile on her face. “That includes not letting Owen bully me around anymore. I can do this!”

“Alright. Just know I’ll have your back in there. Whatever you need,” he said before he let go of her and opened the door to the hangar for them.

Owen was entering at the same moment from the other side of the building. Cassia felt her heart race as they walked towards each other, her with Cullen right behind her while Owen had someone with him Cassia had only seen a couple of times before. His personal assistant. Neither of them were looking friendly as they met halfway, at a table to the side of the hangar.

With a mocking gesture, Owen invited her to sit down. As if by an unspoken agreement, both Cullen and Owen’s assistant remained standing, eyeing each other suspiciously. 

“So,” Owen said without so much as a hello but with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Now that we are here, I guess it is time to discuss the terms.” His thinning black hair was gelled back, and the suit he wore seemed like an ill fit, Cassia noticed. Behind his desk at the agency, or even in dark supply closets back at university, he had always seemed somewhat imposing. Threatening. But now, surrounded by a dirty hangar and under the luminescent industrial lights, he looked rather unremarkable to her. 

“We’ve already discussed terms and made them very clear,” Cassia said simply. “This is an exchange, not a negotiation.”

Owen gave her a patronizing look before he shook his head. “You really think I’d make it that easy for you? You are still the little naive girl from school that needs others to fight your battles for you, I see.” He looked pointedly at Cullen before his eyes were back on her. A hint of satisfaction on his face as he noticed how Cassia had flinched slightly at his words. “The agency wants to renegotiate the terms,” he stated all of a sudden. “We are prepared to offer a whole new deal.” With a snide look at Cassia, he addressed Cullen instead. “Meredith, and you’ll let us take dear Cassia here into custody for treason and in exchange, we are prepared to grant full immunity for you and the entire rest of your organization. In addition, we will no longer interfere in any affairs in Kirkwall.”

Cassia froze at his words, her eyes going wide as she realized just how dirty Owen was willing to play. How many favors he must have called in to be able to make an offer like that. Something that only a complete fool wouldn’t be tempted to take. Cassia didn’t dare to turn around, petrified by the mere possibility that Owen’s offer was maybe just a little bit too good. But at that moment, she felt Cullen’s hand on her shoulder, warm and reassuring. 

“I am not the one you are negotiating with here,” Cullen said calmly. “Nor do I have any interest in cooperating with you in any way. I suggest you talk to the person who is in charge here.” A squeeze on her shoulder emphasized his words, and Cassia felt her breathing return to normal.

With an exasperated sigh, Owen focused back on her. “Fine. In that case, we have a different deal. We want more than just Meredith. We want the whole organization and all of its assets. Including everyone who is in charge,” he said pointedly. “Or you can say goodbye to the idea of ever seeing your sister again.”

Cassia was almost tempted to laugh at the sheer audacity Owen displayed by offering both Cullen and her a deal to throw the other under the bus right after each other. It stoked a fire of resolution in her. He would not walk away from this with the satisfaction of having bested her. With a grim look, she folded her hands on the table and leaned slightly forward.

“I’ll tell you what is going to happen,” she said in an eerily calm voice. “You’ll get Meredith, as promised, and nothing more — in exchange for Adriene, just like we agreed upon. No negotiations.”

A flash of anger went through his eyes. “You think you can dictate the terms here?”

This time, Cassia did laugh. “I  _ know _ I can dictate the terms because I hold all the cards while you only have a single one.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Luckily for you, my sister is important to me or I would force you to fold right here, but make no mistake, Adriene is the only reason I’m still playing.”

“And just why would I give in to your demands?” Oswald shook his head, the same patronizing tone from earlier back in his voice. “Especially when you already showed your hand. You would do anything for your sister.”

There was no reason to deny the truth, and Cassia simply shrugged. “I would, that is true.”

“See? This right here?” Owen grinned snidely at her. “A very dumb thing to admit. You’ll give me what I want or you never see your sister again.” Before Cassia could answer, he added gleefully, “I can say that with certainty because you were stupid enough to show me your weakness. You still don’t understand how this world works, Cassia. You never did.”

For a brief moment, she just looked at him, not saying anything. Quietly deliberating what to do next when a thought popped into her head. What Owen was doing was the definition of a power-play, and there was no way she would let him win. Not this time. Not anymore.

“Fine,” she said with a slight shrug before getting up. She turned to Cullen. “We’re gonna go the other way then.”

Nothing of this had been planned, but like he had promised her earlier, Cullen had her back. “If you are certain,” he only said with a nod, playing along perfectly.

“Where are you going?” Owen shouted from behind her, and Cassia took her sweet time to turn back around.

“I’m done playing,” she said simply. “Since you refuse my terms, I have no choice but to act instead.”

A hollow laugh left Owen’s mouth as he gave her a scathing look. “And what are you going to do? Go through your official channels again?” With a snort, he shook his head. “You’ve tried that before, remember? Noone helped you then and no one will help you now. And by the time anyone reacts, I have your sister shipped off to a black site you’ll never find again.”

Cassia wished she could still be surprised by his awfulness, but it only confirmed what she had suspected already; that Owen was driven by nothing but vengeful pettiness. 

“I’m going to go home. Have dinner with my boyfriend, most likely,” she said simply, keeping her voice light and nearly sweet. “After which I am going to dismantle your entire agency and burn it into the ground. Oh, and then I’ll have dessert. I’m thinking of ice cream, for the irony.”

For a moment, Owen nearly spluttered. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he huffed. “There is no way…”

“Isn’t there?” Cassia said, her eyebrows raised. “You forget how long I worked for you and what I worked as. What I had access to. The security clearance I had and what it opened up.” Now it was her time to give him a patronizing look. “I know  _ everything _ about the inner workings of the agency. Every system, every infrastructure. Hell, I designed a good bit of the processes you use to organize the whole damn thing.” Her voice had turned razor-sharp as she drove her point home. “I know just where to poke and what to break to make it all come apart.”

“We’ve revoked all your access and your clearance when you disappeared,” Owen said, sounding full of contempt for her, but Cassia only smiled wider.

“Yeah, I know,” she said lightly. “But you forgot who I disappeared with.” 

“What,” Owen scoffed. “Your new crimelord boyfriend?” 

Cassia shot a look at Cullen before focussing all her attention back onto Owen. “My new  _ paranoid _ crimelord boyfriend, yes,” she said smugly. “And you know what paranoia is? It’s really,  _ really _ contagious. So contagious I copied all the things I had access to the week before I left, for example.”

The sound of his chair scattering across the floor echoed through the hangar as Owen smashed his hands onto the table, looking at her full of anger.

“That is treason, Cassia!”

Without thought, Cassia smashed her own hands down, mirroring his stance. She took no small grain of satisfaction form noticing his assistant flinch at her move. 

“What are you going to do about it?” she challenged him. Before they had come here, Cassia would have never thought of herself as being able to get loud and into someone’s face like that. Especially not the man that had made her feel so small and insignificant before. But the longer they were at this, the more those old feelings of fear slipped away, being replaced by the knowledge that had no power over her. Not anymore. 

When Owen didn’t say anything, clearly consumed by his anger, Cassia smiled again. 

“You know who could do a lot with this data?” she said, sounding thoughtful. “Meredith could. I think she would even want to be my new best friend.”

Seething, Owen glared at her. “You would throw your lot in with her?”

“I thought you knew my weakness,” Cassia shot back immediately. “I would do anything for my sister. It seems your imagination simply wasn’t big enough to grasp what  _ anything _ entails.”

“Meredith will not help you,” Owen spat. “Not after you and your boytoy tried to dismantle her.”

Cassia shot a quick glance back at Cullen who looked almost amused at Owen’s words. They hadn’t planned this at all, but from the brief tilt of his head, Cassia knew he would go along with her bluff without question. 

With a look of pure innocence, she smiled at Owen. “But don’t you know? That was all a ruse,” she said in a light tone, sounding like she was explaining this to a small child. “An elaborate plan from Cullen. Get close to me and infiltrate the agency through me to get information…”

“That’s  _ not _ what happened,” Owen snapped at her, clearly losing his patience by now.

“It is if that’s what I tell Meredith,” Cullen said plainly. He looked completely unbothered. Like this whole ordeal wasn’t enough to get him actually invested.

Owen’s eyes narrowed as he fixed Cassia with a heated look. “She won’t believe him. We have enough data to show he collaborated with us!”

Cassia felt a flutter of excitement go through her as she realized that Owen was grasping for straws now. She knew what exactly the agency had on Cullen and their work together, after all. And it was nothing even remotely comprehensive. 

“No, you don’t, and you know it,” she said, with a victorious smile. “Meredith will see her loyal second doing his best to have her back, like he has done all his life.” With a bit of extra theatrics, she sighed. “And she will be extra appreciative when she finds out his gamble not only paid off but he also managed to get the agent he used to flip.”

For a second, Owen looked like he was going to shout at her. An angry vein stood out prominently at his temple as he looked at her, riddled with anger. But instead of screaming at her, he gave her a disparaging look.

“Did he?” he asked, venom dripping from his words. “Get you to flip? Was a couple of hot nights with a lowlife really all that was needed to push you to the other side?”

The sheer hatred in his words gave Cassia pause for a moment, and she had to take a steadying, calming breath before she said simply, “No. That was you, actually.” Her voice was clear and unwavering. “I had planned to honor the deal and simply to retire peacefully afterward. You forced my hand with this.”

A condescending scoff was his answer. “And to think you were such a stickler for the rules once.”

“I’ve learned I rather like  _ making _ the rules instead of following them,” Cassia said plainly, deciding that this had gone on long enough. “Now, make the call and have Adriene released or we’ll leave right now and you can deal with the fallout.”

The unbridled anger in Owen’s eyes didn’t diminish at all, but after a moment of silently glaring daggers at her, he took out his phone.

It didn’t take long after that to get the ball rolling. Cassia insisted on staying until they had actual confirmation that Adriene was both fine and free. The minute that Merrill texted her that the internal charges raised against Adriene had been dropped, Cullen’s phone rang, and Cassia felt a good bit of the tension leave her body as she realized it was Fenris. He and Isabela had picked up Adriene without further incident and were taking her to a hospital. Renewed anger welled up in Cassia at that, but Isabela assured her that it was nothing too serious. That Adriene was dehydrated and sleep-deprived but would otherwise be fine.

With a last, disgusted look at Owen, Cassia took out the thumb drive with all the information on Meredith and threw it onto the table.

“In case it wasn’t obvious before,” she added, “I quit. My official letter of resignation is on that, too.” And without waiting for an answer, she turned around and took Cullen’s hand. Together, they left the hangar and her past with the agency behind.

As soon as they were further away, Cassia felt the magnitude of what had just happened, what she had just done, sweep over her in full force. She had not only stood up to Owen, she had threatened an entire government agency. A cold shiver went down her back as she breathed deeply. 

Cullen’s arm was around her in an instant, drawing her into a tight embrace. “You’re alright,” he whispered quietly. “It’s over.”

Cassia nodded quietly against his chest, holding on to him fiercely as everything she hadn’t let herself feel during the negotiation caught up with her at once. 

“I did it,” she said, the sound of disbelief strong in her own voice. “I actually did it!”

Cullen’s hand was on her cheek, tilting her head up to look at him as he smiled at her. “You did it! And you were magnificent in there!” The adoration in his eyes and the warmth in his voice made Cassia’s stomach flutter as she reached up to kiss him.

As Cullen pulled her closer and her lips parted underneath his, she felt lighter and more carefree than ever before. Any lingering doubt she still held about leaving the agency behind and starting something new with Cullen seemed to have disappeared completely, and she felt herself smile into their kiss.

“So,” Cullen said with an expectant look as he drew back. “What is next in your plan?”

Cassia felt that small spark of excitement again as he deferred to her, letting her choose their next step without hesitation.

“I want to check up on Adriene,” she said softly. “I need to talk to her. Explain all this to her and maybe make her understand at least a bit, you know? And most of all, apologize!” There was no way she could leave without clearing things up between them after all. “And I need to see for myself that she is fine and will be alright.”

“Of course,” Cullen agreed. “And after that?” He looked at her with a spark of adventure in his eyes. “We have the entire world open to us, where do you want to go?”

“I don’t even care where we go exactly,” Cassia said. She didn't have a specific location in her mind. But there was one thing she was adamant about. “As long as it’s somewhere with fewer people. Someplace you can see the stars at night.”

Cullen chuckled, still holding her close as they walked to the car, ready to take them away from this place for now. “I may know a whole bunch of places like that I can show you,” he said with a promising smile.

Cassia just smiled back at him as she snuggled closer into his arm. “I can’t wait to see them all!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me through this story! I appreciate it. Technically, this could have been an ending all in itself, but I really wanted to give at least a glimpse into what happens after this.
> 
> So there are two epilogues. They start the same and diverge at a point to show two very different perspectives for looking back at the story. (Though for clarification: they do end up together and are happy with each other in both versions. Kind of.)
> 
> If you like your endings to be unambiguously happy go with epilogue a in chapter 10. If you like things on a much darker note go over to epilogue b in chapter 11. (Warnings will be at the top of the chapter.)
> 
> If you chose to read both you might notice something else.


	10. Epilogue A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy ending. No warnings for anything apply really. Enjoy.

_ Warmth.  _

Mostly around her hand, but to a lesser degree around every part of her, cocooning her, like a gentle embrace. Adriene’s eyes felt heavy as she tried to open them. Soft noises stirring her slowly out of her exhaustion. Voices. Most of all, a very familiar one.

“Cassia…” she murmured quietly, finding it difficult to speak around the horrible dryness of her throat. Everything was out of focus, and it took her a few seconds until the world around her started to sharpen.

“I’m here, Adriene,” came her sister’s soothing reply, and Adriene felt a weight lifting off her in relief as she realized that Cassia’s hands were around hers, holding on to her tightly. If she hadn’t been so exhausted, Adriene would have smiled at that.

“You’re alright…” she got out with a croaking sound, basking in the relief that came with seeing her sister healthy and looking no worse for the wear in front of her.

“I am fine, you are the one I’m worried about,” Cassia said, looking for a moment like she was about to tear up. “Don’t strain yourself too much, you are severely dehydrated and sleep-deprived. They want to keep you here for a few nights until you are well again, but I am going to stay with you, alright? I promise!”

It explained how awful she was feeling. Adriene wanted to nod, but her head felt too heavy to move. But if Cassia was right, she could at least be sure that it wouldn’t last too long. As she lay there, looking at Cassia’s worried face, Adriene felt the effects the last few days had on her much more pronounced all of a sudden. She couldn’t quite decide if she wanted to ask for food and wolf down half the hospital’s inventory or if she wanted to do nothing but sleep, preferably for a whole week. But most of all, she wanted to know something. No, needed to know.

“What happened? Is he still here?” Adriene finally managed to speak, and she could barely keep her eyes open as every word took her an enormous effort.

“You don’t have to worry, we took care of Oswald. I’ll tell you all about it when you’ve gotten some rest, alright?” Cassia promised. “I am not going to leave again, I’ll be here when you next wake up.”

“Isabela said you were not kidnapped,” Adriene mumbled. “Cullen, he didn’t hurt you?”

With a soft smile on her face, Cassia drew a stray strand of hair from Adriene’s face, gently caressing her cheek. “It’s ok! I ran away, he didn’t kidnap me, there is nothing to worry about,” assured her.

Adriene wasn’t sure how to react to that other than feeling relieved for a moment. There would be time for more later. 

“I am so tired,” she mumbled, and Cassia’s hand around her squeezed hers gently. 

“They gave you a sedative earlier, something to keep you calm,” she explained softly, nodding towards the intravenous line ending in a needle at the back of Adriene’s other hand. “Apparently, you insisted a lot on wanting to go home and just sleep your condition off,” Cassia added with a chuckle. 

Dimly, Adriene remembered protesting as Isabela and Fenris had brought her here. Insisting that she was fine and didn't need the help.

“Do you need anything, can I get you some stuff or make anything more comfortable for you?” asked Cassia at that moment, and Adriene’s thoughts went back to being torn between feeling famished and exhausted. 

“I just wanna sleep forever,” she murmured, her eyes already falling shut again. Distantly, she heard Cassia chuckle.

“Just rest for now, I’ll be here when you wake up again,” came her promise from far away as Adriene fell asleep again.

The next time she woke, her head was a bit clearer. Cassia was still sitting next to her bed, holding her hand. As Adriene slowly looked around the room, she could see they were alone. Through the open door out into the hallway, she could see Cullen, busy on a phone call, and the dry feeling in her throat was suddenly incredibly prominent again. She had assumed the absolute worst about him over the past few days and part of her still felt uneasy.

When she looked at Cassia, she could see her sister watching her, following her gaze.

“I am really fine, Adriene,” Cassia assured her quietly. “I promise! Cullen did nothing but help me.” 

There wasn’t a hint of unease on Cassia’s face. On the contrary, at the mention of his name a small smile had appeared on Cassia’s lips. Her eyes got softer for a moment as she looked at Cullen, and Adriene knew. Her sister was in love, and despite the worry she could still feel in the strong grip Cassia’s hands had on hers, Adriene could see the happiness in Cassia underneath it all. 

“I’m glad then,” Adriene murmured quietly. She would deal with her own unease at the situation on her own, and when she was feeling better, she decided.

“Adriene, I am so sorry for running away,” Cassia said in that moment, and her eyes were heavy with regret. “I should have stayed and cleared things up instead of just assuming the worst and…” Her voice broke off for a moment, and it was much softer as she continued, “Can you forgive me?”

Adriene could see a hint of fear in her sister at the question, and she swallowed heavily around her still dry throat. “I can’t say it didn’t hurt finding out you just ran,” she said slowly. It still did. It would most likely take them more than one quick conversation to work through the implications of Cassia simply running instead of trusting her, but she knew her sister. She knew Cassia was genuinely sorry, and while they definitely needed a lot more talking, Adriene also knew she could never stay mad at her. “Of course I forgive you,” she mumbled, and a small smile spread over her face at the sight of utter relief in Cassia’s eyes.

Clearing his throat, Cullen gained both their attention as he stood in the open door, phone still in hand. “Sorry to interrupt, but I’m having an associate of mine I still trust bring me some things I needed from my former workplace,” he said, and next to her, Cassia chuckled, probably at the way he sounded like he was talking about a boring office job. “I am going to meet him outside, should I bring something when I get back? Do you need anything?”

“Food!” Adriene said almost immediately. “Something sweet, and lots of it please!” 

Cullen let out a laugh as he nodded. “Lots of sweets, coming right up.” And with that, he was gone. 

When Adriene looked over at Cassia, she saw that look in her sister’s eyes again. The glow of happiness around her, and Adriene couldn’t help but admit that she couldn’t really remember if she had ever seen Cassia like this before. For that alone, she was willing to make an effort.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened in the last few days? The long version this time please,” she said, leaning back into her pillows as Cassia started to fill her in. And as she listened, Adriene slowly opened up her guarded mind to the possibility, that, with time, everything just might be well.

* * *

Going back to her normal day-to-day life after everything that had happened was both somewhat strange and incredibly grounding for Adriene. After her release and a couple of days of rest, she had received a very generic apology from the higher-ups of her agency. When they also offered her to transfer to another branch, to a whole other team, Adriene had accepted without thinking too long about it. A fresh start and the option to work under someone else was far too tempting to let the opportunity pass her by. That Merrill decided to make the switch with her was an added bonus.

And so, after the ups and downs of the now finished and archived Kirkwall Mission, life returned to normal. 

Almost.

There was one big difference to her life before. The absence of Cassia.

When her sister had explained things at the hospital, Adriene had been torn in two different directions. Relief at the knowledge that Cassia was safe and that all the worst-case scenarios that had run through Adriene’s head had been pure fiction. But at the same time, there had been something heavy settling in her heart. She saw it in Cassia’s happy smile when she looked at Cullen and heard it in the joyous tone of her voice as she talked about her plans for the future. The certainty that she was going to leave.

Adriene couldn’t even fault her for that. Not really. She was certainly not happy about her sister’s choice in partners, and a part of Adriene knew that, no matter how devoted Cullen was to her sister, she would most likely always have some reservations about their relationship. But even with that knowledge, in the end, she could never begrudge Cassia her happiness. Even if that happiness took her sister far away. 

Over the last six months since she had last seen her, over a dozen postcards had arrived for Adriene. Usually sent from a completely different place than they were originally written. The fact that Adriene didn’t actually know where her sister was made her slightly uncomfortable every now and then. But the still regular check-ups from the agency and the strict monitoring of all her communications made it obvious that it was for the best. As long as the agency was still looking for her, Adriene didn’t want to know anything that could give her sister away. Even if it meant that their communication was scarce and very one-sided.

On the other hand, that one-sidedness saved Adriene from having to worry constantly that her lingering unhappiness with her sister’s choices would bleed through. 

That was right until Cassia’s last communication had been a letter instead of a postcard. A letter with no hint towards the sender that held an invitation.

_ ‘You are cordially invited…’ _

Adriene had swallowed heavily, unsure just how to feel about this. But the letter had also held the location for a pick-up and a personal note from Cassia that said just how much she missed her, and that she hoped with all her heart that Adriene would find it possible to come. And just like that, her decision was set in stone. Plans were made, even under the pressure of the more difficult communication issue, and eight months after she had last said goodbye to Cassia, Adriene found herself on a private plane, flying to an unknown place.

The moment she stepped off the plane, Adriene was certain that this was not just an in-between stop for her sister. They were on an island Adriene didn’t know the name of. Not very small, but based on the look from the plane, there seemed to be no big cities, only smaller villages. It was incredibly green, not too warm, and the salty breeze of the ocean was everywhere. And the moment she saw her sister in the small cottage surrounded by hills and wide views, Adriene knew that this was her home. This was where her sister belonged, and when she ran into her arms, all thoughts of misgivings and apprehension were gone for now.

She had no idea how long they stood outside just clinging to each other before Cassia invited her in, and over tea and cake, they started to fill each other in on the past few months. Despite the time passed, Adriene felt like they had only talked yesterday. Nothing of their old connection seemed even slightly dimmed.

They talked for hours, in Cassia’s kitchen, moving outside into the garden until finally taking a walk together, still chatting animatedly.

“Will Cullen join us for dinner?” Adriene finally asked. Now that she saw in person just how happy and free her sister was, she almost felt an obligation to try and get over her reservations towards him. If he had made this possible for Cassia, Adriene owed him a thanks at least.

“He will be here tomorrow,” Cassia said, and Adriene had to suppress a grin at the besotted smile on her sister’s face.

“Is he away for work then?”

Cassia only gave her a look before saying with a small smile, “You probably don’t want to know, trust me.”

Adriene would have expected to feel worse at the implication, but something in her couldn’t bring herself to care all that much. With a happy smile, she took Cassia’s hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“You know,” she said softly, “I had a really hard time with you leaving and with Cullen specifically. But seeing you here, now? I can’t help but be wholeheartedly happy for you.” There was still some leftover apprehension, but Adriene decided she would simply have to try and work on that. For Cassia’s sake.

Cassia’s eyes meanwhile were glistening with tears as she squeezed her hand back. “Thank you! You have no idea what that means to me.” With a sniff and a deep breath, she started to smile again. “It is also really reassuring for what I wanted to tell you next,” she said with a promising look. “Because I keep wondering… How do you feel about becoming an aunt?”

Shock went through Adriene for a moment, but Cassia’s widening smile made it clear that this was not at all a hypothetical question, and with an excited, happy squeal, she flung her arms around her sister and pulled her into a heartfelt embrace. And just like that, she knew that whatever hold-ups she still had would never come between them again.


	11. Epilogue B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The really not good ending.  
> Tw for emotional manipulation, implied gaslighting and information that might make you look back onto the story in a very different light.

_ Warmth.  _

Mostly around her hand, but to a lesser degree around every part of her, cocooning her, like a gentle embrace. Adriene’s eyes felt heavy as she tried to open them. Soft noises stirring her slowly out of her exhaustion. Voices. Most of all, a very familiar one.

“Cassia…” she murmured quietly, finding it difficult to speak around the horrible dryness of her throat. Everything was out of focus and it took her a few seconds until the world around her started to sharpen.

“I’m here, Adriene,” came her sister’s soothing reply and Adriene felt a weight lifting off her in relief as she realized that Cassia’s hands were around hers, holding on to her tightly. If she wasn’t so exhausted, Adriene would have smiled at that.

“You’re alright…” she got out with a croaking sound, basking in the relief that came with seeing her sister healthy and looking no worse for the wear in front of her.

“I am fine, you are the one I’m worried about,” Cassia said, looking for a moment like she was about to tear up. “Don’t strain yourself too much, you are severely dehydrated and sleep-deprived. They want to keep you here for a few nights until you are well again, but I am going to stay with you, alright? I promise!”

It explained how awful she was feeling. Adriene wanted to nod but her head felt too heavy to move. But if Cassia was right, she could at least be sure that it wouldn’t last too long. As she lay there, looking at Cassia’s worried face, Adriene felt the effects the last few days had on her much more pronounced all of a sudden. She couldn’t quite decide if she wanted to ask for food and wolf down half the hospital’s inventory or if she wanted to do nothing but sleep, preferably for a whole week. But most of all, she wanted to know something. No, needed to know.

“What happened? Is he still here?” Adriene finally managed to speak, and she could barely keep her eyes open as every word took her an enormous effort.

“You don’t have to worry, we took care of Oswald. I’ll tell you all about it when you’ve gotten some rest, alright?” Cassia promised. “I am not going to leave again, I’ll be here when you next wake up.”

“Isabela said you were not kidnapped,” Adriene mumbled. “Cullen, he didn’t hurt you?”

With a soft smile on her face, Cassia drew a stray strand of hair from Adriene’s face, gently caressing her cheek. “It’s ok! I ran away, he didn’t kidnap me, there is nothing to worry about,” assured her.

Adriene wasn’t sure how to react to that other than feeling relieved for a moment. There would be time for more later. 

“I am so tired,” she mumbled, and Cassia’s hand around her squeezed her gently. 

“They gave you a sedative earlier, something to keep you calm,” she explained softly, nodding towards the intravenous line ending in a needle at the back of Adriene’s other hand. “Apparently, you insisted a lot on wanting to go home and just sleep your condition off,” Cassia added with a chuckle. 

Dimly, Adriene remembered protesting as Isabela and Fenris had brought her here. Insisting that she was fine and didn't need the help.

“Do you need anything, can I get you some stuff or make anything more comfortable for you?” asked Cassia at that moment, and Adriene’s thoughts went back to being torn between feeling famished and exhausted. 

“I could eat a whole buffet,” she murmured, her eyes already falling shut again. Distantly, she heard Cassia chuckle.

“I’ll run out and get you all the best things from the cafeteria,” came her promise from far away as Adriene fell asleep again.

When Adriene woke for the second time, her head felt a bit clearer but she had to keep her eyes closed for a while. The light above her bed was too bright, blindingly so. But while she was lying there, waiting for her eyes to slowly adjust, she noticed that it was quieter than before. 

“Cassia?” she called out quietly. Her sister had promised to be there, after all. But it wasn’t Cassia’s voice that she heard.

“She has gone to get some coffee and to get you some food” Cullen answered instead.

An uneasy feeling went through her. Both Isabela and Fenris had assured her Cullen had not done anything to Cassia, and Cassia herself had told her so earlier. But still, after the days she had spent in a cold cell, having nothing to do but imagine the most horrible things happening to her sister because Adriene had been too slow, too wrapped up in her work to protect her, the unease she felt was hard to shake. 

Adriene drew in a deep breath. She would try to do so regardless. For Cassia. She still felt exhausted, and turning her head to look at him took quite an effort. She was about to say something when Cullen looked down at his phone and frowned.

“Excuse me for a moment,” he said with an apologetic look. “I’m having an associate of mine I still trust bring me some things I need from my former workplace,” he explained before leaving her room. Through the still-open door, she could see someone walk up to him, handing him an envelope and what looked like a flash drive. 

Adriene felt a brief clench in her stomach as she looked at the person talking to Cullen. He seemed familiar somehow. Like she had seen him before, but she had absolutely no idea where that could have been. 

A moment later, Cullen was back. When he gave her a curious look, Adriene realized that she had been staring.

“Are you alright?” he asked, sounding concerned, and Adriene was about to nod when something suddenly clicked in her head, and she knew where she had seen that man before. On a mugshot, in Aveline’s office. And suddenly, the implications of just what that might mean threatened to suffocate her.

“He works for  _ you _ ?” she said, her voice full of disbelief before she could think better of it, and Cullen stopped dead in his tracks for a moment before a peculiar expression was on his face.

“How did you find out?” His voice sounded different somehow. Harder.

A shiver of fear went through her at the casual question and the realization that they were alone in the room. Carefully, Adriene eyed the remote on her bedside table that had a button to call in a nurse. She knew she wouldn’t be able to make any fast and sudden movements, and so she tried to slowly inch closer to it instead.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she said, trying to look confused and unassuming, playing the confused hospitalized angle up, but it had little effect.

“No need to play pretend now,” Cullen said with a shake of his head. “You recognized him, and I am very curious as to from where.”

Adriene inched closer to the remote once more, but the moment she moved, she saw Cullen’s eyes narrow, and she knew he had seen her efforts. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said with an unsettling smile on his face as he stepped closer, and before Adriene could reach for it, he pulled the bedside table away. Not far, but enough so it was just out of reach. “Now, if you would be so kind as to answer my question?”

Cullen sounded completely calm, but it didn’t put Adriene’s mind at ease in the least. But for now, it seemed like there was nothing she could do except to keep him talking.

“I saw his picture at the police station,” she said tonelessly. “This is the man that got arrested in your club for spiking Cassia’s drink when she met you. And if he works for you…” Adriene felt her throat nearly close up as the whole magnitude of just what that meant washed over her. 

A hint of annoyance was on Cullen’s face. “Loose ends… You always think you have them all tied up and yet…” He sighed as he pulled up a chair and sat down next to her bed, looking every bit the concerned visitor from the outside. “And I guess you can’t wait to tell Cassia your little discovery.”

“You orchestrated everything!” Adriene said with a sudden hiss, immediately regretting the force she had put behind it as a spell of dizziness fell over her. 

“Of course I did,” Cullen said harshly, “do you have  _ any _ idea how long I have waited for this opportunity?”

“You used her!” Adriene glared at him, trying to bravado her way through the terror creeping up in her. 

“Oh please, like you haven’t. Like when you sent her into a field mission without any training just to get dirt on me,” Cullen scoffed. 

Adriene felt the anger at the accusation well up in her. “I never lied to her! But you… From the very beginning, you manipulated her into falling for you, and for what? Just so you could get rid of Meredith?”

The amused chuckle Cullen let out made Adriene’s stomach turn. “Meredith? Please, that old crone was never an issue. Handing her over was a pure formality. There are much bigger fish.”

“But she was…” Adriene’s eyes widened in shock as she saw Cullen’s overly satisfied smile and the puzzle pieces in her had started to rearrange themselves yet again. “Meredith wasn’t the head of the Order…” she breathed out. “She was just a figurehead.”

“Look who’s catching on,” Cullen murmured, the smile still on his face. “A rather pesky one to boot. Kept talking about going more legit and had half the Order in uproar with her stupid ‘no violence’ policy. Good riddance.”

Adriene’s throat went dry as she started to realize more and more things. How he had not only tricked Cassia but played them all with this seemingly caring persona of someone who abhorred violence and was almost a decent person. And they had all fallen for it. 

“Cassia will see through you, sooner or later,” she said with a fierce look in her eyes, but again, it provoked only a dry laugh from him.

“I highly doubt that,” Cullen said matter-of-factly. “I shot a man in the head at point-blank and came home with his blood all over me and had her feeling sorry for me not five minutes later.” 

Adriene blanched at his cold description and the realization it brought. If he was blatantly telling her this, he was absolutely certain that she would not be able to tell Cassia. She had to do something. Now. She had to get someone else’s attention, had to get out of this bed. With all the strength she could muster, she tried to sit up, to reach far enough to hopefully still grab the remote, but she wasn’t fast enough and before she could do anything, Cullen had pushed her back down. 

“Now, you shouldn’t overdo it, you are still recovering after all,” he chided in a perfectly pleasant tone before reaching towards something beside her. Too late, Adriene realized that it was connected to the drip in her hand and that he was dialing up something. In a bout of panic, she tried to scream, but a strong hand on her mouth muffled the sound.

“No one’s coming, Adriene. The doctor in charge of your case is one of ours.” The self-satisfied sound in his voice made the message hit her even harder as Adriene understood how screwed her situation was. “But you don’t have to worry about Cassia,” Cullen said with an eerily pleasant smile. “It may have started as a job, but I genuinely like her. And I take very good care of the things that belong to me.” 

Adriene felt a renewed heaviness settle through her body, making even her weak struggles next to impossible. The sedative Cassia had spoken of earlier, she concluded. With fearful eyes, she looked at the man above her who seemed completely content to taunt her.

“You know, at the start, I genuinely only wanted one thing from her,” he explained, sounding casual as if he was chatting to a friend. “Access to your database. The things you can do with my organization and that information…” Cullen let out a satisfied sigh before looking thoughtfully at Adriene. “But your sister is such a treasure trove. Smart, funny, remarkably flexible on some moral issues when pushed, and oh, you should see how she thrives if you let her think she is in charge.” 

When he finally took his hand off her mouth, Adriene had no energy to try and scream again. All she could do was watch him grin at her.

“I do love her, you know? And I think I am going to keep her. See what else I can get her to do for me,” he mused. “You should have seen her when I offered to have your boss taken care of.”

The panic surging through Adriene at his words made it almost hard to breathe. In a last, desperate effort she tried to lift her arms. Maybe if she could pull the needles out of her, rip the monitoring pads off her arm the machines would alert someone. 

But Cullen had seen her sluggish tries at moving and took her free hand into his, holding it in a tight and painful grip that was the opposite of Cassia’s earlier, gentle reassuring squeeze. But Adriene knew it was meant to be the opposite of reassuring. She could see it in his eyes.

“I offered to kill him for her, and you should have seen the look on her face,” Cullen continued his little story as if nothing had happened. “She was so tempted… Ah, we truly are made for each other, wouldn't you say?”

His almost reverent tone sent a renewed surge of anger through Adriene. “Cassia would never,” she breathed out, her voice barely above a whisper.

Cullen chuckled darkly. “Oh, but how wrong you are about that. I guess you don’t know her as well as you think you do after all,” he said before shrugging. “But don’t feel too bad about that, I had to dig deep to bring that out of her. But do you want to know the best thing?”

Adriene didn’t, but no amount of shaking her head could stop him from talking. 

“She said _no_ , but not because she didn’t want him to die,” Cullen said with a satisfied smile. “She said no so  _ I _ wouldn’t have to do it. She wanted to protect  _ me _ …” There was a look of pure joy in his eyes for a moment, and more than anything else, it sent a shiver of fear down Adriene’s back. “Make no mistake, as soon as Meredith is gone, your boss  _ will _ meet his end,” he said with a slight growl in his voice, his polite mask slipping for a moment. “If only for putting his hands on Cassia. Because she is  _ mine! _ ” The hard clench in his jaw at his words was gone as quick as it had come, and suddenly, he was eerily calm again. “I can’t wait to see if I can get her to kill for me as quickly as I got her to do everything else.”

Looking every bit the caring visitor, he bent over her bed and pushed her pillow back into the right position, making a show of helping her get comfortable.

“It’s a pity you found out what you did,” Cullen said softly, his unwavering smile far too close for comfort. “Cassia will be heartbroken when your condition slowly gets worse and worse until there is no more hope that you will wake up again.” He drew a strand of her hair out of her face, a brutally gentle mockery of what Cassia had done earlier in concern. There wasn’t a hint of pity in his eyes, only the self-assured, confident look of someone who knew they had won.

“She will mourn you of course, but I’ll be there for her to help her through those trying times, don’t worry,” he said, keeping up the assuring tone in his voice. “And who knows, maybe we’ll name one of our children after you. You know,  _ in loving memory _ …”

The heaviness in her body seemed to have turned her limbs to lead, and Adriene could do nothing but stare at him in blind panic as even breathing became harder and harder. From the corner of her eye, she could see him dial up the drugs even higher. She could hear the door open as he leaned back into his seat, and a moment later, Cassia was back in her view.

Adriene wanted nothing more than to call out to her, but her tongue felt heavy and her lips were impossible to move. 

“How is she doing?” Cassia asked Cullen with a worried look towards her.

“She said she felt not that well earlier,” Cullen said, getting up and taking Cassia into a gentle embrace. The taunting smile from before was completely gone as he looked nothing but concerned for her. “We should get her doctor back in here, just to check.”

When Cassia nodded with a worried look, he drew her closer, cradling Cassia’s head against his chest in a soothing embrace as he looked directly over her head into Adriene’s slowly fluttering eyes. 

“Don't you worry about a thing, your sister will be in very good hands.”

The hint of a smile on his face was the last thing Adriene saw before the darkness closed in around her.


End file.
